Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

5 Simple Ways to Boost Happiness

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” – Kurt Vonnegut.  This quote couldn’t be more accurate.  Life presents us many challenges, struggles, and lessons, but it also gives us many joys, memories, and hope.  No one is going to be happy all of the time, life is just not that way, but there are many ways to boost happiness and well-being.  In this blog I will outline 5 simple ways to help boost happiness.

  1. Spend time in nature. The sun, sounds of life, beautiful colors, and fresh air really help lift our spirits and make us feel connected to a much bigger world.  No matter what kind of day I am having, a stroll in nature is sure to pick me up.  Walking itself is a happiness booster, walking in nature is an even bigger bonus, it has so much to offer us.  There’s nothing like a fresh breeze, natural scents, and feeling the warm sun on your skin.  Nature makes me feel whole.

    2.  Treat yourself.  We are so good at helping and lifting others, we need to also remember to look out for ourselves!  We all deserve to be pampered and treated and the effects are very beneficial.  Even a small treat has the ability to turn one’s day around.  Treat yourself to your favorite drink, meal, a movie, binge watch your favorite TV shows, take a hot bath, just do something that you love.

     3.  Connect with others. Spending time with loved ones whether in person, or on the phone is a mood booster.  Laughing and catching up with those that we care about is so powerful.  Even a hug boosts our mood, it helps us feel connected to others and the world.  Humans for the most part are very social creatures, we thrive and do best when we are with each other.  

     4.  Do a good deed. Helping other people helps us!  There is mutual gain from doing a good deed and making someone’s day, it makes us feel good in return.  Knowing that we have lifted someone’s spirits, helped them through a difficult situation, lended a helping hand no matter how small, these are all good mood boosters. 

     5.  Take a trip down memory lane. Spend some time recalling or daydreaming about your favorite memories, they are bound to make you smile!  Close your eyes and picture the last beach trip that you took, the smell of your favorite holiday dish, go back and look at pictures of some of your favorite events, holidays, a wedding, the birth of a child, happy times with friends.         Smell some of your favorite scents, they can elicit many memories and feelings of happiness. Just thinking of fond memories can give us a powerful happiness boost.

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I hope that you have enjoyed these 5 tips to boost happiness.  Take some time for yourself today and do something to lift your spirits…you deserve it! What kinds of things make you happy?

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