We Don’t Talk Anymore

The other day I was scrolling through the Contact list on my cell phone, trying to find a phone number that I needed to jot down.

As I was scrolling trying to find the name of the person that I was looking for, I came across several people who are no longer in my life. So many emotions came over me.

What I Found

I came across contacts that have mutually faded slowly over time, ones that have ghosted me, and ones where there was a falling out. Sadly, one of my contacts that I came across had even passed away within the last year, but I didn’t have the heart to remove them from my phone.

After jotting down the phone number that I needed, I was left in a state of reflection. I felt sadness for the people that I had lost. I was left thinking of the memories that I had with each of these people. A brief sadness came over me.

State of Mind

After feeling initial sadness, I quickly thought of the phrase that describes how people are in our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Many of these people on my contact list have been there for a lifetime thankfully, many others were there for a reason or a season.

Seeing the names of people from my past brought back so many memories. I reminisced about where I met them, what we talked about, what I learned from them, and how each of them touched my soul in some way. Each individual, regardless of how the relationship ended, helped me grow in some way and even taught me about myself.

Acceptance

Unfortunately, losing touch with others is a part of life, but we are left with memories and what they have taught us. They have each shaped us in some way and we can be grateful for that.

I truly believe that other people are placed in our lives for a reason. Sometimes we may find that they are placed there at just the right time.

I have no closure with several of the contacts that I came across. While this does bring me sadness and wonder, I have to accept this fact. Maybe one day, our paths will cross again, and maybe I will never know, but it’s up to me to be at peace.

Message for You

As always, we should cherish the individuals that we have in our lives right now and express our gratitude and love for them. We should strive to directly and openly communicate to keep these relationships alive and thriving as long as possible.

If you have people in your life that you have had a falling out with, or that have left your life in some way, I encourage you to spend a little time thinking about the positive aspects of what that relationship brought you.

Maybe you learned about yourself or the world around you, or maybe you learned what you do and don’t want from a relationship. Sometimes we focus mainly on the negative things that we have experienced with someone, but even if we have to search for a long time, there is bound to be a positive that we can discover!

So Many Words

“I don’t have words,” is not a phrase that you will find me saying very often. It is usually quite the opposite. I am so in love with words and with language and how numerous words strung together can form the most beautiful piece.

I have loved writing ever since I was a little girl. Today it has become part of my soul, I would be lost without it. I love being able to sit down with my laptop or pen and paper and let the words and thoughts flow freely. I love the fact that my work may touch someone else, maybe they will find it relatable, and helpful, and maybe it will motivate them, or even help them grow.

So Much to Say

I always feel like there is so much to say and so much to share with the world. I am hardly a woman of a few words. I can’t seem to write a card or a letter without it being many paragraphs long, even a text message to a loved one is hardly ever short and sweet, it contains many words and emotions. I am a very deep thinker and I love deep conversation.

Ironically, when verbally speaking with others, I am more of the listener than the talker, but when I write I can’t stop “talking.” I cannot seem to write using just a few words, there is so much on my mind and in my heart to say.

To say that I love words is an understatement, they are a part of me and my life, they bring me happiness and they help connect me with others. Words are so powerful.

As A Writer

As a writer, I would be nothing without the precious words that I have to convey my thoughts and feelings and communicate with the world around me.

Given that you are reading this right now, I presume that you are also a lover of words, a lover of reading and writing.

Thoughts

I have always wondered why people like myself are so drawn to words and writing. My take is that we are very deep thinkers, and we naturally are drawn to wanting to share our innermost thoughts and ideas with the world. We naturally want to make a difference; we want to help the world. I think most of us have stories and life experiences that we want to share to make an impact.

Writing is such a beautiful form of art; it allows us to get a glimpse of the author’s world and innermost feelings. As you go about your day, remember how important your knowledge is to other individuals, and remember that your words will make a lasting impact!

Do You Have Unspoken Words With Someone?

In life, we are constantly meeting people and socializing with others whether it be at school, work, or even at the grocery store.

We all come from many walks of life and because of that, we have very different ways of viewing things and perceiving the world around us. With these differences comes possible misunderstandings and strains on relationships.

Life Unfiltered

Getting two or more people together isn’t always going to go smoothly. People have opinions, they feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood.

Most of the time individuals can come together to hash out their differences and come to a mutual understanding. Hopefully following this will be forgiveness and moving forward in the relationship.

The Downside

Unfortunately, being able to work through differences and settle arguments doesn’t always work out in our favor.

The other party may not be willing to sacrifice, or work it out, they may simply not even respond. This type of situation can leave us feeling hopeless.

Do you have something to say, but are not ready or able to say it?

Left Unsaid

Maybe the other person is not willing to talk to you, or maybe you have something to say, but the timing is not right.

Whatever it may be, it is important to let out your feelings and get what you want to say off of your chest.

Words left unsaid can be very damaging to one’s health. Not being able to share what is on your mind and in your heart is very stressful and prevents us from living authentically.

One Little Trick

Whenever I find myself in a situation where I cannot contact the other person, or I don’t want to let my feelings out just yet, I turn to one thing.

I get out a journal and I address the letter to the person to whom I wish to relay the message to. I start by writing their name and then I let my thoughts flow from my head to my hand. I write everything down that I wish I could say to this particular person.

It’s Up to You

Sending the letter will be up to you. I have letters that I have saved, ones that I wrote and then put in the trash, and letters that I have sent to the intended recipient after they were completed.

This simple exercise is very helpful in clearing your mind. It can help ease the heaviness in your heart and make you feel more at peace with your past.

Even when the letter is not sent or read by anyone else, you will have had the chance to say what you wanted to and that is so freeing and does wonders for healing. Bottled-up feelings come back to haunt us in the future.

Think of Someone

Is there someone in your life that you have unspoken words with? Is there something that you’ve want to get off of your chest but felt like it was the wrong time, or that the other person wouldn’t be receptive?

Try writing a letter to this individual and see how much better you feel. Bonus points if you end up sending it, but the idea and meaning behind this letter is to get what has been left unsaid out in the open.

I hope that at least someone will be able to benefit from this exercise the way that I do. It’s very hard to go through life without sharing what is going on deep inside of you. We are all on a journey to a happier life, a few small steps in the right direction can make a huge difference!

I Am Me; You Are You

We all know how much of an impact our thoughts and words have on us. They can make or break us, and they have the power to influence our feelings. I made an observation yesterday that I have noticed others doing, even myself!

Have you ever noticed that when we are talking, we tend to use the word “you” when talking about ourselves? I do this all the time without realizing it, but yesterday I caught myself and made some interesting observations about it.

What I Said

I was feeling upset and angry about something that happened yesterday and I was talking with my neighbor about it. Referring to my rough day, I told my neighbor, “It makes you feel so lost.” 

I used the word “you,” but I didn’t mean you as in my neighbor that I was talking to, I meant you as in me. Confusing, right!? I have observed this way of talking many times, but never placed much thought into it until now.

How It Feels

When we use “you” to describe ourselves, it feels as if we are almost distancing ourselves from that feeling. It’s as if we are not taking ownership of our thoughts and feelings and we are using the word “you” to keep the feeling separate from us.

Some people may use the word “you” about themselves purely out of habit, and some might use it as a way of subconsciously pushing the emotion away from themselves.

The Power of Using “I” or “Me”

Just out of curiosity, for the remainder of the day, I was careful about referring to myself as anything other than “I” or “me.” When I was sharing any of my feelings, I noticed that it felt like I was sharing a piece of myself versus just casually talking about a feeling. It felt powerful and it felt like I was owning my feelings.

Expressing emotions is an even bigger relief as I felt that I was truly expressing myself by referring to myself in the right language context. I know that this sounds funny, but words do hold so much power. The slightest change to a word can bring about a whole new feeling and meaning.

We Don’t Realize

As we go about our busy lives, sometimes we don’t realize our habitual way of talking, we don’t realize what a difference it makes to change our verbiage and how much our word choices affect us.

Imagine you and Friend A are talking, and they come up to you and say, “days like this make you feel so helpless, it’s like you don’t even know who you are anymore.” You will still be able to offer your friend sympathy of course, but taking the personal context out of the sentence, creates distance between you and the other person.

Now imagine Friend B saying this: “days like this make me feel so helpless, it’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Which friend do you feel a stronger connection with? Which friend do you feel more empathy towards?

Try it Out

Think about the individuals that you are speaking to as well, they will feel more connected to you when you are speaking directly from your heart, words and all. As you go about your day today, try to see what an impact certain words have on your communication and your overall mood.

The words we choose and how we say them have so much importance to us and to those that we communicate with. The smallest word can have a profound difference in what you are trying to say and how others will relate to you. Never underestimate the power of words!

Left on Read

We have all experienced that feeling of being “left on read.” For those of you unfamiliar with that term, it basically means that you have texted someone and they read your text, but they have not responded. I’m not sure about you all, but being left on read is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. It evokes a lot of feelings for me from sadness to anger. I start to question and wonder what happened and why someone chose to not respond back. Sounds trivial, but it really does bother me.

Often we hear people say phrases like “I’ve been so busy,” or “I read your message, then forgot to respond when I had a moment.” To me, there is no such thing as too busy. Yes we get busy and we get caught up in life, but we always have time for things and those that matter the most to us. Many people are not bothered by a lack of response, I don’t like that I am one of them! I believe that if we do not take an unanswered text personally, it feels better and is easier to accept.

What are your thoughts? Are you bothered when someone does not text you back? Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!