A Face Full of Makeup

Growing up, I was a mix of a girly girl and a tomboy. I loved playing with Barbie with my sister and just had a love of all baby dolls and stuffed animals. I remember having scented nail polish and nail art stickers.

On the flip side, I also really enjoyed sports and I wasn’t afraid to get my hands dirty. I enjoyed playing in the dirt and being at one with the Earth. I enjoyed the best of both worlds.

Lucky 13

I was 13 years old when my mom took me to get my ears pierced at the mall for my birthday. It was such a memorable experience and one that I will never forget. I remember eating food at the food court in the mall, getting Mrs. Field’s cookies, and then heading over to Claire’s to get my ears pierced. I was so excited!

Not only did I get my ears pierced at 13, but I was also allowed to start wearing a little bit of makeup. My mother only let me wear eyeliner to start until I was much older but being able to wear it made me so happy.

Time Flies

Fast forward to today and here I am in my late 30s. Makeup has become a part of me. Even after all of these years, it makes me happy. Honestly now, to me putting it on is like putting on clothes for the day, it is just natural and a routine. I wear makeup every time I leave the house.

To me, makeup is an art and something that relaxes me. I really enjoy putting it on. I like to do up my whole face from foundation and eyeliner to mascara. My makeup is always noticeable, but on the natural side, I don’t use many colors or eccentric styles.

Interesting Comments

Over the years I have gotten some interesting comments from others. Some people have told me that the fact that I wear makeup means that I am not okay in my own skin, that I am not real, they say that I am afraid to be myself and that I must be using it as a mask or a shield…like some sort of protection.

I am not one to judge, I know that people are who they are for a reason and that many different types of life walk this Earth. I understand where people may be coming from when they make comments like this to me, but to me, makeup is a part of me. It has been a part of me since I turned 13.


To me, makeup is a form of expression. It is an art. Some people like to express themselves with a certain style of clothing, piercings, tattoos, or hairstyles. These all make up our outward appearance, however, it does not change who the person is on the inside.

We all have an image that we like to portray to the outside world. A little glimpse of who we are can be found in what we like and what we wear, however, the person that is underneath it all is the core of who we are. No amount of makeup will change that in my opinion.

One Common Phrase

This takes me to a common phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover.” We all like different things and we express ourselves in different ways.

Maybe to some, my face full of makeup is a mask, but to me…well…I’m just me!

2023 and Still Me

We have just welcomed a brand-new year! When I was younger, I used to think that the New Year was a fresh start, a new beginning. It felt like magic, a new year hit, and all of a sudden, I had a blank slate, and I was a new person.

I anticipated the new year and all that it helped me feel. It was almost like life started over again and I had 12 amazing months ahead of me. The world was mine and I felt unstoppable.

Reality Set In

Fast forward to today and the new year is still wonderful, but it does not hold any extra power or magically change my life in any way. There is no reset button. It’s 2023 and I am still me.

Some of you may know that I am on a journey to live more authentically. I have a very difficult time expressing certain parts of myself and the way that I feel. My biggest fear is rejection, this leads me to only show certain sides of myself to others. Being more authentic is and still will be a major goal of mine this year.

I Hold the Power

It is up to me to hold myself accountable for this goal. It is up to me to start expressing myself in ways that align with how I am feeling. No date on the calendar is going to magically change this for me, I have to change this!

I must say that I am doing much better in reaching my goal, I can share and be a lot more open than I once was, but I have a very long road ahead of me. I have a road to self-discovery, and higher self-esteem, I have a road to allowing myself to feel what I am feeling and then put it to good use instead of letting it consume me. Perhaps my biggest setback is my inability to truly love myself as sad as this sounds.

My Wish

For 2023, I want to come out as a stronger woman, one who truly loves herself and can be herself 100% of the time. A woman who is not afraid to live and isn’t worried about what others think. This is my wish for me.

My wish for you is that you are filled with great health, hope, love, and happiness. My wish for you is that all of your dreams come true and that you realize what an asset you are here on this Earth!

This is my wish for you and me in 2023.

Dear Regret: You Are My Teacher

There are more times than I can count that I have walked away from a relationship, or situation and felt a sense of regret. I would tell myself that I knew better and then came the hamster wheel of thoughts including the should have, would have, and could have. Regret is a very difficult feeling to have to sit with and one that can plague us for years to come.

I can think of many times that I regretted a certain behavior of mine, or how I handled a certain situation. I know that the saying goes to “live life without regrets,” and for the most part, I do, however, I also replay certain events over and over because they didn’t pan out how I had hoped. I don’t regret anything 100% in life because I believe that everything happens for a reason, but if I was able to go back in time I would have done certain parts and situations of my life differently.

The most recent situations that I regret are how I handled the end of a relationship and how I handled a conflict at my old job. As hard as it is, there is no use dwelling on the past because what is done is done and there is no way possible to change any of it. What can we change? We can change the way we respond to a similar situation in the future, we can learn from what we didn’t like about something in our lives and we can grow from it and try to implement it in our daily lives today and moving forward.

Regret is a teacher in our lives. When you feel a sense of regret, that means that something didn’t align with your beliefs and values. Most of the time, we know how to better handle a person or situation, but for some reason, it didn’t work out that way. We are only human, life is not going to always happen exactly the way we want it to.

I can tell you that both of the situations that I mentioned above could have been handled much better if the communication was different. We all know the value of communication and how things can very quickly fall apart without it. I have learned my lesson and hopefully, those two instances don’t ever repeat themselves in my life, but if they do, I will be much better equipped to handle them.

Think of a situation that you regret. Think of how it made you feel then and how it does now. What did you learn about yourself in this situation? What did you learn about life? Some of our darkest moments in life, although painful, can be our biggest teachers. Whenever I find myself dwelling on something from my past, I try to quickly stop that pattern of thinking and I counteract it with thoughts of what I learned and how I am a stronger and better person today because of what I went through. Life is one big test and there are teachers all around us, keep going and working towards the person that you strive to be and you will end up passing with flying colors.

Truly Love Yourself

I’ve always heard that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. To be honest, I never really believed that until recently. I always thought that I have plenty of love to give, why couldn’t I possibly love someone completely without 100% loving myself first? I have started to realize why.

We are our own worst critics, possibly because we know ourselves as no one else does, also we know all of our faults and our past. I’m sure that many of you have been given a compliment from someone and you appreciated it so much, yet you didn’t believe it to be true. Maybe you were told that you are a good communicator, that you are attractive, smart, and funny. It was great to hear a sincere compliment from someone, but you didn’t feel it inside and that took some of the joy away from those wonderful words. We are putting distance between ourselves and those that we love when we don’t truly love and have confidence in ourselves.

The act of loving oneself is not saying that you love yourself and your qualities 100% of the time. We all have things that we do not like about ourselves, however, the art of loving yourself comes down to forgiving yourself, being at peace with your past, having confidence in who you are and what you stand for, and truly being able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are proud and happy of who you have become.

When we love ourselves wholly, it opens up a brand new world for us to find, we are then able to sincerely love someone else as we can finally share pieces of ourselves that we may have hidden before accepting ourselves.
For those of you that love yourself unconditionally, I am very proud of you for reaching this level of confidence and peace. For those of you that have yet to reach this, I have faith that you will get there and I understand because I have been in your place, sometimes I still find myself there, but I can bring myself back.

The biggest step that I feel has been the most helpful in my life is negating every destructive thought with something positive, or at the very least, neutral. For example, if you are working on a challenging project at work and you are ready to give up, instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this, I am always a failure,” negate that thought to tell yourself that you acknowledge that the project is difficult, but you are trying your best and giving it your all. If you feel that you are not good at relationships you might feel that it’s all your fault and that no one loves you. Instead of this approach, negate that thought to tell yourself that you will work hard on communicating your feelings and that sometimes people are not always compatible.

Start working on all aspects of yourself until you are happy and can confidently say that you love yourself. Once you have mastered loving yourself, the whole world opens up to you and it is then that you will truly be ready to love someone else with your entire heart and soul. Get out a journal, or a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you love about yourself and the things that you are grateful for, you will find out what a mood booster this is!

Keeping Your Cup Full

Self-care is a word that we hear about often, yet something that many of us don’t remember to do as much as we should. We are so busy with life and we spend so much time taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Life keeps us busy and we all have relationships and responsibilities that we must attend to and put energy towards. We may sometimes feel superhuman as we navigate daily challenges and tasks off of our to-do list. Often in the midst of things we forget that energy is not finite, it will run low if not preserved and boosted.

There are many ways and things that you can do to help with self-care, it all depends on what your likes and interests are. Self-care may be as simple as taking yourself out to dinner, getting a new haircut, getting a manicure/pedicure, gardening, cooking a good meal, playing sports, even choosing to stay in one evening to watch shows is self-care.

The importance of taking care of oneself is immense. Our minds and bodies are only capable of so much before we hit a slump, or even a breakdown, it’s very important to listen to your mind and body and to know when to slow down and take time for yourself. When you practice good self-care, you are physically and mentally at your best and you keep your cup full. It is only when you yourself are “full” that you are able to do your best in life and also give your best in life. We can’t possibly take care of others, or the demands of life without taking care of ourselves first! This is a reminder to do something that you love, something that makes you happy, something that helps you relax today!