Speaking Your Truth

We all have a voice inside of us, stories that are uniquely ours, and life experiences that no one else has experienced exactly as we have.

Deep in our souls is our truth. At our core is what we believe in, everything that we feel strongly about, and every ounce of who we are. This truth, 100% of it at least, is hardly shared with the outside world.

Bits and pieces of ourselves are released and exposed to a rare few, but much of our core remains in hibernation.

My Word 

I chose authenticity as my word for 2023. I am working on expressing myself fully and not being afraid to be vulnerable and be myself. I don’t want to have to censor my thoughts and feelings, I want to be open and express myself in the way that others seem to do so effortlessly.

Feelings

The feeling of not sharing our truth and expressing ourselves can be very detrimental. We need some sort of outlet for our deepest emotions, whether it be through journaling, writing, or verbally communicating. 

Withholding thoughts causes a lot of inner turmoil. It can create stress and that can lead to even more intense emotions. The older I get, the more I realize just how powerful speaking our truth can be.

Lately

I have been trying very hard to stay true to myself. I am trying to take each situation and conversation that presents itself in my life as a new chance to speak my truth. I still fall, but I am holding myself accountable.

I’ve noticed that when I share my thoughts and feelings, I feel so much lighter…almost like a weight has been lifted from me. When emotions are released it’s almost as if their power is taken away. They can no longer haunt us and cause inner turmoil. They are free to escape and roam, lessening our burdens.

You Are Needed

The world needs your truth, and the world needs YOU. We all add value to this world. We all have stories that we can share to help and inspire others. We deserve to be heard, loved, cared for, and respected as the individuals that we are.

Speaking your truth puts you on the path to freedom.

Who’s ready to start this journey with me?

I Forgive Myself

Some of you may recall reading about the story of my ex-boyfriend. It was a summary of what happened in our relationship, including the end. I chose to write him a letter expressing my feelings, one that I have zero intention of sending.

I received many kind and supportive comments, both here and on Medium, and I truly cannot thank you all enough. It meant so much to me to hear your stories, feel your love and support, and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone. There was one comment in particular that struck me and one that sends a beautiful message that we all need to hear.

The Comments

I was scrolling through the comments and my heart was flooded with love and warmth. I felt like I wasn’t alone, I felt like I was heard and understood. I felt grateful that I could release my emotions in the form of a letter and still have someone stand by my side. One comment, in particular, melted my heart and got me thinking. The comment mentioned that I should show myself kindness and make sure to forgive myself in this situation.

What a beautiful reminder! “Forgive yourself.” Two very powerful words. We spend so much time forgiving others and being kind and respectful to other people, which is wonderful, but do we do this for ourselves? We should be on the list of people that we forgive and are kind to, after all, we are all human.

The Wheels are Turning

I had to read this beautiful comment twice because it struck me. This lovely individual was right, I needed to cut myself some slack and forgive myself. As human beings, we tend to beat ourselves up over many things in life. If the same thing were to happen to a loved one, we most likely would respond with empathy and understanding, but when it happens to us, we are way too hard on ourselves. My brain started thinking of so many things.

I was reminded that I need to be kinder to myself. I spend so much time being kind to others, I should also include myself because I am deserving, every being is deserving. We are all human and we are all learning. No one is perfect. We get up every day and try our best.

Forgiving Myself

I began to think of ways that I could forgive myself regarding this situation. I forgive myself for not openly communicating, and for not knowing what to do to resolve the issues. I forgive myself for being human and having feelings that I couldn’t express fully and clearly enough. I forgive myself for not seeing the signs sooner, possibly due to denial.

It felt amazing to think about why I deserve forgiveness and kindness. This comment helped me so much with healing and moving forward. I did the best that I could at the time, and I learned a whole lot. If I ever find myself in this situation again, I will know how to handle it.

An Important Reminder

The words of others are extremely important. This is just one example of how others’ words can truly influence us. We must remember the power of words. It’s almost important to remember to show ourselves the kindness that we deserve. We are so quick to get angry and upset with ourselves, but we could all be in a better place if we chose to have the patience that we have with others for ourselves.

Thank you for reminding me that I am human and that it is okay to make a mistake. Thank you for reminding me that I too deserve the love, kindness, and forgiveness that I give so freely to others.

Every burden that we carry adds weight to our hearts and prevents us from true happiness. Is there something that you can forgive yourself for today?

One Way to Challenge False Beliefs About Ourselves

If someone were to ask you: “How would you describe yourself?” What would you say? What words would you use? This question can have many answers.

We are good a knowing who we are as an individual. We generally know our strengths and our weaknesses, but did you know that some of the beliefs that you hold about yourself, particularly the negative ones, may be false beliefs?

What Are False Beliefs?

Any belief that you believe to be true about yourself that is actually untrue is called a false belief. Throughout our lives, experiences have shaped us into who we are. Our perceptions of ourselves are a result of these experiences, however, they can be skewed without us even realizing it.

False beliefs can truly negatively impact our lives. We may become self-conscious, lack self-esteem, and our perceived beliefs can hinder our relationships.

Recall a Time

Think of times in your life when you felt a certain way about yourself, yet others have told you otherwise. Maybe you felt unintelligent, that you lacked social skills, felt unorganized, not capable, possibly you felt like you were unable to keep relationships intact, or that the world was out to get you.

As we go through life, we may consciously or even subconsciously look for things in our lives that “prove” our false beliefs to be true. We are extra keen on experiences that validate our false beliefs and sadly this helps keep this belief going.

For Example

Imagine you are having a rough day and your false belief is that “the world is out to get you.” Possibly, you start thinking of the list of things in your head that have happened to you that day and how this truly must mean that the world is against us.

Next, imagine that you have been dating someone and things got off to a pretty good start, however just a few months into the relationship you feel like things are slowly falling apart. You try to make things work, however, sadly the relationship wasn’t meant to be, and it ends. You have a false belief that you are not capable of relationships, so naturally, you feel like this belief continues to be true given what you are experiencing.

How Can We Fix This?

There is one simple way that we can implement in our lives to start melting away the false beliefs that we hold so tightly onto. For every negative belief that you hold onto, challenge it with an experience that proved this belief to be untrue.

If you think that you cannot have a successful relationship, then write down all of the people that you have a good relationship with, this could be your neighbor, friend, or family member. If you feel like the world is out to get you, write down all of the ways that life has blessed you and keep a note of the days when you feel that things went well. You will see that the world, though harsh, is also on your side.

Someone who feels like they lack social skills can write down the times when they had a conversation that meant something to them, or someone else. Think of a time when a casual “hello” was said to someone at the store, that is a success. Some people may think that they are not capable to function in this world. Recall all of the times that you did, possibly without even realizing it. Something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning, going grocery shopping, taking care of family, or completing a project or a goal, you can see that you are capable.

I Challenge You

When you have a moment, grab a pen and paper and divide it into two columns. Write down a list of beliefs in one column that you have about yourself. In the column next to it, write down some experiences that you have that contradict this belief. You may be pleasantly surprised to see that this belief of yours is false!

Our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves tend to be sneaky and it is important to visually see that we may just be perceiving ourselves incorrectly. I hope that you will find this beneficial in regaining confidence in yourself and the world around you!

How I Nip a Bad Mood Quickly

Life doesn’t always go the way that we want it to, unfortunately, and with that, our emotions and mood can change, sometimes dramatically from day to day depending on what is going on.

I am a very sensitive and anxious person by nature and when something happens in my life that is upsetting, it takes quite a toll on me though I am getting much better about this. I have found a few ways that have helped me kick a bad mood to the curb!

Before I Found a Solution

Going back to my younger years, I used to take every negative feeling and situation and internalize it. Getting out of a rut and trying to shake off a bad mood was a very difficult task to do. I seemed to hold onto being in a bad mood for much longer than I wanted to.

I remember feeling lost and not knowing what to do to help myself. I opted for quick fixes like having a dessert to instantly boost my mood, but my problems were not solved. One thing for sure, I knew that I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I started looking for solutions and I became really into self-help.

My New Approach

I am a huge lover of nature; it has the power to change a mood around quickly and can help us feel like we are so small compared to this big vast open space. Nature has a way of making us feel like our problems have just vanished as we focus on the greenery, the sounds of the birds, or the sight of water flowing down a stream.

Knowing this, I wanted to incorporate nature into my solution. I went to the store and bought a beautiful notebook and some fancy pens to keep the look interesting and vibrant.

Whenever I find myself in a place of discontent, I would go take a walk to calm myself and try to refocus my mind enough to eventually come back inside the house and try to work through the emotions.

After my walk, or even sitting peacefully outside for a bit, it was time to sit down and work through my thoughts and feelings.

Journal in Hand

I have found over the years that a bad mood will last so much longer if we do not talk about it, or let our feelings out in some way, shape, or form. The more that we hold something in, the more it tears us apart. The longer that we shove our thoughts under the rug and hide from them, the longer they haunt us.

I got my journal and my fancy pens, and I created a self-help exercise that I use whenever I am not feeling content. I will share it with you now!

  1. I write down all of my feelings
  2.  I list why I am feeling this way
  3.  I write down what options I have to tackle this feeling
  4.  I choose a solution from the options that I have created
  5.  I note what I can and cannot control in the situation

I have found that writing out my feelings and seeing ways that I can work through processing a negative mood can help tremendously. Just seeing it all on paper is an outlet and lets us realize that things may not be as bad and that we have more control over the situation than we think.

The Biggest Solution

The greatest advice is to speak your mind and let your thoughts and feelings flow freely, whether that be writing them down or telling them to a trusted someone. Sometimes our biggest issue and roadblock on our way to happiness is not having an outlet to share what is on our minds. We sit and fester in the thoughts that take over our minds instead of letting them out.

Being able to talk, or at the very least write about your feelings is of great importance. One needs to be able to vent and clear their mind to move past negative emotions.

I have found writing to be extremely therapeutic as are the journal exercises that I do. Whether you talk your feelings out or write them, it is a very critical step to moving past a bad mood!

You Can Run, but You Can’t Hide

I am sure that most of us have been in a situation where we were unhappy with life. Maybe we didn’t like our jobs, were stuck in a relationship that we didn’t see going anywhere, or possibly we didn’t like our social circle because we felt as if we didn’t belong.

For those of you that were in situations like these, how did it make you feel? What was your first instinct telling you how to handle the situation?

Natural Response

One of the reactions when faced when a tough situation in life is to flee. It goes back to the fight-or-flight response in Psychology. As we experience hardship, we either tend to stay and fight, or our adrenaline starts to rush, and we flee to escape the perceived threat.

We want to flee to avoid having to feel negative emotions, we flee as a way of avoiding experiences, even avoiding ourselves.

Question for You

Think of a time when you felt so upset and discouraged that you wanted to get up right then and there and leave. You wanted to pack up your office because you couldn’t stand your job anymore, you wanted to run away and hide from your significant other because you felt that you two grew apart instead of together. Think of a time when you felt like an outsider, that even with friends around, you still felt alone in this world. Did you flee?

Many of you did and that is a normal response. Even though it’s normal, it may not be the best way to approach these situations because instead of facing the issue and growing from it, we chose to run away. It felt right at the time, maybe even taking off some of the anxiety, but what ended up happening?

Noticeable Patterns

After we ran from the situation, we felt much better, but as time goes on, the past usually comes back to haunt us.

The key is to look at the issue at hand and see where you can learn from it. If there is some sort of inner conflict, then these types of situations that make us want to flee can give us great insight into what we can improve on.

Communication

Much of life and life’s problems revolve around communication or lack thereof. Sometimes we may feel as though we do not have the strength, or even the skills to solve what is happening to us, so we just decide to flee to make our problems instantly disappear.

I have learned this the hard way, the problems seem to have magically disappeared until, weeks, months, or years later they resurface again because they were not addressed the first time.

Try This

Those situations that make you feel like you would just rather run away than deal with it can be our greatest teachers. Try to live more authentically and see how you can fix your life circumstances. Work within yourself to discover that you have the strength and power to face any issue head-on.

I want to make an important note that in certain situations, we absolutely must flee. Those situations include those that affect our safety etc.

The Takeaway

Life tends to find us, we can move to a different state, change jobs, or even hunt for that “perfect” someone, but what we have not corrected from our past will eventually show up in our future. We may flee, but life follows. We are still the same person inside.

I believe that life is one big test and that we are here to learn many lessons. The lessons will keep repeating themselves over and over until we have learned how to master them. Pay attention to the things that make you want to run and hide, address them so that you have power over them!