A Blessing and a Curse

Some of you may have heard of a trait that some people have, it’s known as HSP (Highly Sensitive Person.) I have this trait and have had it for most of my life and I can tell you one thing, it is for sure both a blessing and a curse. In some ways being an HSP helps in life and in other ways it makes life a lot more challenging.

I remember being a very sensitive person pretty much my entire life. I am not really sure how I got this way and I never really understood it until I was in college many years ago in a Psychology class and we took a fun quiz on empaths. I remember this day so clearly because I had scored the max possible points, which put me in the category of an HSP. I was the only one in the class that had an empath score so high. The quiz was almost like a personality test. I remember my professor encouraging me to research this topic further…and I did just that. It was then that I understood this trait that had been with me my entire life.

HSP’s have several distinct qualities that can help one recognize being an HSP in themselves, or others. People with the HSP trait are highly in tune with their surroundings. They pick up energy from their environment and from other people. HSP tend to be very deep thinkers and they feel emotions and thoughts very strongly, even sensing them from other people. These individuals require a lot of alone time and down time as they feel like they are always “on.”

HSP1

The positives of being an HSP is that it really helps you relate to others. Often HSP’s can know how someone is feeling before they even say anything. Another positive is that it really helps you take in each experience and experience life as a whole, life seems to take on a deeper purpose and meaning. Being an HSP can also facilitate communication as they tend to pick up on what is and what is not being said, they absorb many non-verbal ques from others.

There are definitely downsides to being a Highly Sensitive Person. We often require down time and a quiet environment because being an HSP drains a lot of energy. HSP’s become overwhelmed easily and do not typically do well with a lot going on at one time. Having this trait makes you worry about other’s feelings and analyze more, it also means you feel emotions deeper, both good and bad.

For me, though there are positives, being an HSP is quite exhausting. I often feel overstimulated and exhausted. I wish that I was not so sensitive, it is a battlefield of the mind and heart, but it is part of who I am and I will embrace it. We all have traits about ourselves that we like and don’t particularly like, but we are who we are for a reason and the best solution is to work with what you have and just live the best life that you possibly can!

HSP2

Left Unsaid

Communication is the basis of all human relationships and human interactions in general. When we communicate with others, we do so verbally and non-verbally. Sometimes it’s the non-verbal cues that give more meaning than what is actually being said. We have the choice to say as much, or as little as we want to, but sometimes leaving the important things left unsaid has the potential to create many problems.

Some things are better left unsaid, this includes anything that someone might take offense to, anything unkind, or hurtful should not be said. There are other instances where speaking up and saying what is on your mind and in your heart is vital and could make or break relationships that you have with other people.

I have gotten better with time, but I am guilty of not always sharing what I should be. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely stand up for myself, maybe a little too much sometimes, but I do struggle with sharing what’s on my mind with others and I have ended up in some bad situations because of it. Communication really is key and is highly valuable and important. Every situation where we feel like we have not done all that we could have, or we feel that we could have approached the issue in a better way, helps us grow and learn.

unsaid2

We may be afraid to say certain things to others for many reasons. We might be afraid of judgement, rejection, hurting people’s feelings, we may fear losing someone, when in actuality we may lose them to not communicating our needs and wants effectively. Not speaking from your heart and trying to cover up, or ignore issues only leads to resentment and relationships can quickly spiral down from there.

When we say what is bothering us, or what is on our minds, we free ourselves. It is a heavy weight to carry something unsaid around with you, it weighs on your mind and heart. So many of life’s issues and situations can be solved with effective communication.

Like I mentioned before, some things are better left unsaid, but others are not. If there is something weighing on you, something you can’t get out of your mind, something that has put distance between you and a loved one, it’s never too late to try to mend, or make a relationship better. Don’t leave anything important to you left…unsaid.

unsaid1

Going with the Flow

I have a little pocket calendar that I use to keep track of important dates, events, appointments, etc.  I look at it often to see what is going on for the week, I don’t typically rely on a calendar so much, but during these times with so many changes and things going on, I can’t keep my mind straight!  What has surprised me, especially in the last few months, is how many changes I have made to my calendar…this led me to write about an important topic.

Over the last few months ever since the Covid-19 pandemic broke out, I have found myself erasing many plans out of my pocket calendar, not only that, I have found myself needing to add unexpected events to my calendar as well.  This happens of course in general, because life is ever-changing, however even more so in the last several months.  I think we all realize how much life changes, but having the “proof” right there in front of you is very eye-opening.

I have always been the kind of person that loves to have a routine and to have things planned out.  I know that some people are very go with the flow and they like adventure and spontaneity, and while I enjoy these things occasionally, if I don’t have a stable routine and plans laid out, I become very unsettled and anxious.

flow2

One thing that I have learned is that we can plan all we want, but life is going to unfold as it should regardless of the plans that we make.  Life can change for us in a matter of seconds, hours, days, it is always evolving and although we have control over many aspects of our lives, we don’t for others.  I suppose this constant change makes life interesting, keeps us on our toes, and helps us grow as a human being.

One thing for sure, one good and very helpful quality to have is being able to just take it easy and go with the flow.  When things don’t work out as planned, I still tend to get anxious and disappointed by it, but I am learning to be more patient and to remind myself that if something does, or does not happen, that it was just meant to be that way.  It’s not easy, but try just going with the flow and see how that can bring peace to your life.

flow1

Rose-Colored Glasses

Recall the phrase “to see things through rose-colored glasses.” This positive look to life is not always to our benefit as ironic as it sounds. The phrase itself means to view, or to see life positively, seeing the good, being optimistic, being more carefree. While it is an excellent way of going through life, there needs to be a balance of seeing the good vs. seeing the full picture.

For most of my adult life, I have been more of the glass half-full, positive, happy, optimistic kind of girl. Of course depending on what life throws at me, I will definitely have my days, but overall I tend to remain mostly positive. In terms of this phrase, I do tend to see life and the people in it through “rose-colored glasses”. I can tell you firsthand that although most of the time this is a great approach in life, it has caused quite a few problems as well.

I am a firm believer in being positive and looking on the bright side of things and while this is in my nature, it is also self-taught, and was instilled in me at a young age. I feel like when I encounter situations, or people in life, I view them as seeing the good by fault. Of course, I realize that not all situations are good and neither are all people, but it is in my nature to hone in on the good so much that I tend to cover up the bad. This is something that I would like to change, so that I can develop more of a sense of what is real and genuine vs. only seeing the good. I feel like you can’t really go wrong with looking for the positives in certain situations, except maybe when you allow yourself to stay in a bad situation because you are only looking at the pluses. Where I feel this would really help me is when dealing with other people.

glasses2

When I first meet someone and start to get to know them, I of course see both the good and human sides to them, no one is perfect, or without flaws, however I tend to just focus on their good traits, so much so that I may let that overshadow signs that they may not be a loyal or genuine person. It’s almost like me telling myself “This person has been there for me in the past and just because they are doing x, y, and z now, doesn’t mean that they are not genuine.” It’s like I see signs, but I try to focus only on the good that person has done for me and that is sometimes a mistake.

My hope is to be able to see people for who they really are, good and bad, not only just focusing on the good. There have been signs thrown at me here and there, yet I tend to choose to counteract it, sometimes I even negate it. One day at a time and one lesson at a time, I will work on it. It’s wonderful to view life with rose-colored glasses, but make sure to take them off once in a while!

glasses1

Krazy Karma

Karma is a word that we have used and seen often. In my opinion, most people are a believer of karma on some type of level. I’ve heard the word being used by both adults and children and I have actually been a big believer in karma since I was a little girl. Karma has brought me motivation, strength, and peace in life.

So, what is karma? It is the belief that your actions, both good and bad will come back to you in some way at some point. Karma is an energy that we put out into the world that finds its way back to us. It is the belief that if we do good for this world and it’s people, that good will come back to us in return. On the flipside, if we purposely do harm to others, that will negatively impact us in the future. Karma is not always instantaneous, energy can come back to us within days, weeks, months, even years. I don’t do good only just to have it come back to me, for me it’s about having peace in my heart and mind, knowing that I did the right thing, that is what makes me feel good about doing good for the world and for others. It brings me great joy.

karma2

I was quite a mischievous child, I was interested in everything and loved to laugh and play jokes on people. I remember several instances where I was innocently joking around and teasing my sister or friends and seconds later I ended up stubbing my toe, or falling out of my chair, then we would all joke and say that it was karma. As silly as this example is, this interestingly shows that children are capable of understanding right from wrong and are able to comprehend that good behavior is rewarded and acting up has consequences.

As adults, the idea of karma is a lot more complex. I think most of the time people try their best at treating others with compassion and kindness. Things happen, we are only human, we make mistakes and sometimes not the greatest decisions in life, but we learn from them and we become stronger. I am also human, I try very hard every day to think before I act and to do what is right. I treat people with kindness and respect. I think for many people, they are highly aware of their actions and what they might lead to.

The concept of karma has brought me a lot of peace in my life. For those that have done me wrong, it helps me not to lash out, but to let life and karma unfold instead. This doesn’t mean that I don’t stick up for myself, I very much do, it just means that after doing so, I can let it be and let life take over. Knowing that what goes around comes around keeps me strong. When life gets tough, I try to stay encouraged to do good and do right knowing that in the end of the darkest tunnel is the most beautiful light. No matter how difficult things get, I encourage you all to continue to do good in this world. The world will thank you one day when you least expect it.

karma1