2023 and Still Me

We have just welcomed a brand-new year! When I was younger, I used to think that the New Year was a fresh start, a new beginning. It felt like magic, a new year hit, and all of a sudden, I had a blank slate, and I was a new person.

I anticipated the new year and all that it helped me feel. It was almost like life started over again and I had 12 amazing months ahead of me. The world was mine and I felt unstoppable.

Reality Set In

Fast forward to today and the new year is still wonderful, but it does not hold any extra power or magically change my life in any way. There is no reset button. It’s 2023 and I am still me.

Some of you may know that I am on a journey to live more authentically. I have a very difficult time expressing certain parts of myself and the way that I feel. My biggest fear is rejection, this leads me to only show certain sides of myself to others. Being more authentic is and still will be a major goal of mine this year.

I Hold the Power

It is up to me to hold myself accountable for this goal. It is up to me to start expressing myself in ways that align with how I am feeling. No date on the calendar is going to magically change this for me, I have to change this!

I must say that I am doing much better in reaching my goal, I can share and be a lot more open than I once was, but I have a very long road ahead of me. I have a road to self-discovery, and higher self-esteem, I have a road to allowing myself to feel what I am feeling and then put it to good use instead of letting it consume me. Perhaps my biggest setback is my inability to truly love myself as sad as this sounds.

My Wish

For 2023, I want to come out as a stronger woman, one who truly loves herself and can be herself 100% of the time. A woman who is not afraid to live and isn’t worried about what others think. This is my wish for me.

My wish for you is that you are filled with great health, hope, love, and happiness. My wish for you is that all of your dreams come true and that you realize what an asset you are here on this Earth!

This is my wish for you and me in 2023.

I Am Now That Adult

I am often in a state of reflection, I find life and everything about it fascinating. I enjoy looking back and seeing growth, finding new ways of making life work for me, and I truly love learning about human behavior as I try to better myself every day.

The other day, I was with my children and an interesting thought popped into my head. I have found that once I had kids, my world has opened up even more and I realized many things after seeing them through the eyes of a child. Having children also brings me back to when I was younger, I often reminisce about those days!

A Thought

As a child, I remember looking up to adults as some sort of magical people that had all of the answers to every single question that I asked. They knew how to do and fix everything; they knew just how to help us when we didn’t know how to help ourselves.

I was fascinated by how much they knew and how they could handle any situation. I remember asking my 1st-grade teacher how she knew everything that she taught us. I recall asking my mom how she knew how to drive a car and how she knew where to go, it makes me laugh now, but children’s minds work so differently! I remember having a conversation with my dad one day asking him how he knew how to fix the broken appliances etc. in the house.

Full of Curiosity

Children are full of wonder; they want to know how the world works around them. I was very much full of curiosity and as an adult, I am even more so. Today, my curiosity for life, the world, and the people in it are much more in-depth than it was as a child, but very persistent, nonetheless.

I think having a sense of wonder about life, in general, is a huge motivator, it keeps life interesting as we make our way through our journey here on earth.

The Amazing Full Circle

As an adult, I look at children, including my own, and see their sense of wonder and amazement at the world around them. They are full of questions and are always searching for the how and why.

Anytime I experience something that brings me full circle, I sit back in awe. It’s one of life’s ways to show us that we are making progress and growth on this journey. I am now that adult that I once looked up to, I am now that “magical” person that has many answers and can pass on my knowledge to the youth of this world!

Sometimes it Takes a Reminder

We go through life day in and day out, sometimes unknowingly on autopilot. Sometimes we get so used to a routine, our possessions, the people in our lives, that they become a natural part of us and we forget that these things are not necessarily ours to have forever. Sometimes it takes a reminder to truly realize and cherish what we have.

I believe that most people are thankful and grateful for what they have. They give thanks for all of the blessings in their lives and don’t take anything for granted, but when life presents situations and circumstances that take away something, or someone, that is when we realize how valuable it really is. There is a quote by Joni Mitchell “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.” Like I mentioned before, most of the time we do realize, just not to as great of an extent until we no longer have it.

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Take the Covid-19 pandemic for example. We were all completely and unexpectedly uprooted from our daily routines and into a completely different one. Something as small as getting up and going to work was no longer the case for many people. Another example, you have a car that gets you from Point A to Point B, but one day your car breaks down. You might get a rental car, or get a ride with a friend, or loved one, but it isn’t until your car is no longer that there you realize it’s true value. I am sure that people realize the value of life and how precious it is, however that is greatly amplified when we lose someone either by death, or by a broken relationship. It is often at a funeral that we are reminded of how precious life is and how in the blink of an eye the people that we have in our lives today sadly may not be there tomorrow. We tend to think naturally that what we have, we will always have.

Being grateful can bring so much quality to our lives. There’s so much to be thankful for and things that have become natural to us in our lives like the roof over our heads, still for some people is something that they are praying for. It’s very difficult wanting something so badly in life, there is no doubt about that, but if we look at what we have instead of what we lack, life can become a little easier for all of us!

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In the Night

Outside gets darker, the world gets quieter, and I seem to take on a different form. I’ve never been just a morning person, or just a night owl, I have always been a mix of both. I love mornings because I wake up feeling refreshed, motivated, energized, and hopeful of the day ahead. I love nights for the peace, relaxation, slower pace, and reflection that it brings.

There is something about the still of the night that shifts me mentally. I have always been a deep thinker and reflective person, the night is the perfect time for pondering and reflecting on life. At night, we become tired, our minds and bodies slow down in preparation for sleep and a new beginning ahead the next day. After all of the hustle and bustle during the day, the night allows us to sit with our thoughts, reflect, and just be.

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I know not everyone is like this, but I find great joy in sitting in silence with my thoughts and reflections. If I do not allow myself enough time to process my day, or how I am feeling, it creates great anxiety for me. Sitting in silence can no doubt be scary and uncomfortable, but I feel it is a necessary part of processing life. I can and often do get lost in my head, I have heard so many times that I “am lost in my own world.”

As I write out this blog post, I can’t help but mention the importance of reflection, self-awareness, and mindfulness. The night allows me to do all three with its stillness, peace, and quiet. I understand that for some people the night might bring about feelings of sadness, loneliness, or fear, but sometimes the still of the night is just what we need to work through our inner struggles. Without much time for reflection and self-awareness, we can’t go about making great change. Processing one’s life requires great energy and it is of the utmost importance to allow time to dedicate towards fueling your soul. Mindfulness is the act of focusing and being aware of the present moment. It is about tuning out all distractions and worries and focusing on what is right in front of you at that given moment.

Whether it is day or night, I hope that you find time for just you. Become in tune with yourself, take the time to take care of you, just like you take care of others, you completely deserve it.

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Guided by Intuition

Recall that little voice inside that sometimes “speaks” when you don’t want it to, or is too quiet when you wish it would help you decide?  That is your gut instinct, your intuition and it serves a great purpose in life.  I believe that we all have a gut instinct that helps us subconsciously navigate through life, a little voice that pops up here and there when we are faced with a dilemma, are pondering a question, or trying to find our life path.

The evidence of our gut instincts can be seen during our daily lives.  Ever meet someone new and knew that you would become instant friends? Maybe the opposite, something told you to keep your distance from someone?  Have you been at school taking a test, read the question, had no idea of the answer, yet you got it right?  Have you had to choose between which job to take and later found out that you made the best decision of your life?  Have you had to decide whether to do something now, or postpone it and you chose the perfect time?  Though these examples could be due to coincidence, much of the time they are aided by the help of our subconscious.

So many times when we have to think or choose in life we unknowingly let our anxiety, fears, past experiences, or overthinking get in the way.  Our true thought process is tainted by these and therefore we may not clearly be able to see the best idea or option.  So, what is a good way to let your gut instinct guide you instead of your mind?  Often it is the very first, almost instant response that you feel.  For example, if you are choosing between taking Job A and Job B, ask yourself “Is Job A or Job B a better fit for me?” Without deliberately thinking or pondering the subject, notice which one comes to mind first, which one feels more right.  First instincts and thoughts are usually the most correct.

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Some individuals like myself have an even deeper inner voice known as intuition.  I believe every person has it, some just have a deeper sense of it.  This almost borders on psychic ability, as someone who is highly intuitive can often predict things before they happen.  Intuition is a gift that can be developed and grown.  I often try to develop my own by trying to feel how certain events will play out etc.  My beloved grandmother was very intuitive, even more than I am.  She could foresee many things before they happened and she often knew things going on before they were said.  I believe that I got my own ability partly from her.  My grandmother always told me that the older I got the stronger my intuition would be and so far she has been right.  God Bless her soul.  I miss her terribly. 

The next time that you are faced with a difficult situation, a dilemma, wondering which path to choose, curious if someone new is worthy of your time, try to see if what instantly comes to mind without truly thinking about it helps you in any way.  If you would like to share a story below of how your gut instinct or intuition has led you, I would love to read them!

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