Truly Love Yourself

I’ve always heard that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. To be honest, I never really believed that until recently. I always thought that I have plenty of love to give, why couldn’t I possibly love someone completely without 100% loving myself first? I have started to realize why.

We are our own worst critics, possibly because we know ourselves as no one else does, also we know all of our faults and our past. I’m sure that many of you have been given a compliment from someone and you appreciated it so much, yet you didn’t believe it to be true. Maybe you were told that you are a good communicator, that you are attractive, smart, and funny. It was great to hear a sincere compliment from someone, but you didn’t feel it inside and that took some of the joy away from those wonderful words. We are putting distance between ourselves and those that we love when we don’t truly love and have confidence in ourselves.

The act of loving oneself is not saying that you love yourself and your qualities 100% of the time. We all have things that we do not like about ourselves, however, the art of loving yourself comes down to forgiving yourself, being at peace with your past, having confidence in who you are and what you stand for, and truly being able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are proud and happy of who you have become.

When we love ourselves wholly, it opens up a brand new world for us to find, we are then able to sincerely love someone else as we can finally share pieces of ourselves that we may have hidden before accepting ourselves.
For those of you that love yourself unconditionally, I am very proud of you for reaching this level of confidence and peace. For those of you that have yet to reach this, I have faith that you will get there and I understand because I have been in your place, sometimes I still find myself there, but I can bring myself back.

The biggest step that I feel has been the most helpful in my life is negating every destructive thought with something positive, or at the very least, neutral. For example, if you are working on a challenging project at work and you are ready to give up, instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this, I am always a failure,” negate that thought to tell yourself that you acknowledge that the project is difficult, but you are trying your best and giving it your all. If you feel that you are not good at relationships you might feel that it’s all your fault and that no one loves you. Instead of this approach, negate that thought to tell yourself that you will work hard on communicating your feelings and that sometimes people are not always compatible.

Start working on all aspects of yourself until you are happy and can confidently say that you love yourself. Once you have mastered loving yourself, the whole world opens up to you and it is then that you will truly be ready to love someone else with your entire heart and soul. Get out a journal, or a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you love about yourself and the things that you are grateful for, you will find out what a mood booster this is!

The Importance of a Hobby

What are you passionate about? Chances are, you have a hobby or pastime that truly brings you joy and allows you to grow as a person. Many common hobbies are writing, art, sports, fishing, collections, for example.

Your hobbies and interests may have changed since you were younger, but hopefully you have some sort of hobby or personal interest that really sets your soul on fire! Think of your favorite pastime and how it makes you feel. Think of how this hobby makes you feel like you and makes you feel complete. It’s very important to have something in life that you can always turn to and be excited about no matter what you are going through.

My absolute favorite hobby is writing! I’ve actually thoroughly enjoyed writing since I was a little girl. I’ve grown to love it even more so as an adult. Writing makes me feel so free and it helps me express myself and I have hopes that my work will help others in some way. I want to pass on the life lessons that I’ve learned. Thank you to Arushi for this blog post recommendation and all of your support! What are some of your favorite hobbies?

A Thing Called Life

Life…a little word with such big meaning and importance. We are all human and on a journey very different, yet in many ways similar to each other. We wake up every day with a goal, responsibilities, working on personal growth, and we all walk this earth with challenges.

There are different walks of life everywhere you turn. There are people who have struggled a lot in life and those that have not known what it’s like, there are those that look at the glass half-full, while others see it half-empty, there are people who will continue to go down the same path and those who work hard every single day to strive to reach their goals.

For me, I have known many challenges in life, but I also am extremely fortunate and blessed. I try to look at my challenges and struggles as ways that are making me stronger and making me a better person. Struggles give you a goal to work towards, they give you motivation to do your best and to want to change. Personally, I see life as a big lesson, something that will help our soul grow, life is the biggest test with an ultimate reward.

No one’s life is truly easy, we all deal with many struggles, it’s a part of being human. We learn every day and we try our best. Although we cannot change our circumstances, mentally we can change so much. We can choose to look at our roadblocks as motivation instead of failure, we can choose to look at our struggles as defining our strengths instead of showcasing our weaknesses, we can choose to see life as the beautiful and precious gift that it is. You are on this earth for a reason, keep shining!

The Secret Behind Triggers

Do you ever feel like you are just going about your day and a certain situation, or person’s actions changes your mood in an instant?  We all have certain triggers in life that evoke a very strong and emotional response from us, these triggers vary greatly from one person to the next, but are very powerful as they are connected deep inside of us.

A trigger is something that evokes a strong emotional response, something that goes way deeper than average.  Triggers are anything that remind us of certain events from out past, they can be arguments, holidays, abandonment, traumas, public speaking, socializing, medical issues, the list is truly endless.  Sometimes we are triggered by something we are not even aware of, but our subconscious picks up on it.

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I am a pretty even-tempered person, even though my mind is steadily going, I’ve been told that I have a very laid back personality.  Just like anyone else, I have things that trigger me.  For me, the biggest thing that triggers me is when someone disrespects me.  I make every conscious effort in my being to respect others, so when that is not given, or returned, I have a very hard time dealing with it.  I am also triggered by being in a group of people, certain social situations, and being talked down to, or criticized.  These all create a deep emotional response within me.  I know that these things are triggers for me, so I work extra hard to think logically and not let my emotions get the best of me when they arise.  Due to triggers often being tied to past events, it’s even more difficult to control your response, which is often quick and automatic, but by realizing what upsets you and allowing yourself distance from the trigger, you can better manage and reflect.

Knowing your triggers and knowing yourself in general are very beneficial when encountering things that you know set you off.  If you are getting into a situation that you know will cause you stress and anxiety, you can prepare yourself mentally and hope for a better outcome than if you had not prepared.  Often times talking out a series of events, or even journaling can bring about some amazing insight that you may have otherwise not found.

It’s natural to want to avoid what triggers us because we don’t want the unpleasant feelings that come with it, however if we do not push ourselves to go against our fears, we will never conquer them.  Growth happens when you make an effort to challenge what controls you!

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Going with the Flow

I have a little pocket calendar that I use to keep track of important dates, events, appointments, etc.  I look at it often to see what is going on for the week, I don’t typically rely on a calendar so much, but during these times with so many changes and things going on, I can’t keep my mind straight!  What has surprised me, especially in the last few months, is how many changes I have made to my calendar…this led me to write about an important topic.

Over the last few months ever since the Covid-19 pandemic broke out, I have found myself erasing many plans out of my pocket calendar, not only that, I have found myself needing to add unexpected events to my calendar as well.  This happens of course in general, because life is ever-changing, however even more so in the last several months.  I think we all realize how much life changes, but having the “proof” right there in front of you is very eye-opening.

I have always been the kind of person that loves to have a routine and to have things planned out.  I know that some people are very go with the flow and they like adventure and spontaneity, and while I enjoy these things occasionally, if I don’t have a stable routine and plans laid out, I become very unsettled and anxious.

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One thing that I have learned is that we can plan all we want, but life is going to unfold as it should regardless of the plans that we make.  Life can change for us in a matter of seconds, hours, days, it is always evolving and although we have control over many aspects of our lives, we don’t for others.  I suppose this constant change makes life interesting, keeps us on our toes, and helps us grow as a human being.

One thing for sure, one good and very helpful quality to have is being able to just take it easy and go with the flow.  When things don’t work out as planned, I still tend to get anxious and disappointed by it, but I am learning to be more patient and to remind myself that if something does, or does not happen, that it was just meant to be that way.  It’s not easy, but try just going with the flow and see how that can bring peace to your life.

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