Tag: People

Take the Compliment

What is your first response when someone compliments you? Do you take it and say, “thank you?”, shrug it off, or maybe you are like me, and you’re truly grateful for it, but you negate it. Why would one negate it? It is because the receiver may not always believe the compliment to be true. This can be detrimental!

When someone compliments us, most of the time they are being honest and genuine. Most people will not take the time to compliment someone just for kicks. There was something that they felt was special about you and they wanted to let you know. Compliments are a great way to break the ice and bond with another person. We all love to hear a good word about ourselves, it makes us feel great inside.

Examples

Try to imagine yourself in the following scenario. Picture yourself as both the giver and the receiver of the compliment:

Mark: “I really love your writing; you are very talented.”

Travis: “Thank you, but it’s nothing special, I am really just an average writer.”

I can only speculate about how others feel but given that I have been in this situation on both sides, I know how I felt. Mark is happy to express his love for Travis’ writing, but Travis responds to his compliment by saying that he’s just average. Mark may feel like his feelings have been shot down, or that Travis disagrees with him. Travis may be happy on the inside after hearing the compliment, but he is not letting it build him up, he doesn’t own the compliment and take a moment to make him feel boosted and happy! Both most likely walk away feeling disconnected.

It is hard to take a compliment if we don’t believe it, but if we practice accepting compliments and the kind words that others give us, it can really positively impact us and others. 

Imagine yourself in this scenario now as both the commenter and receiver:

Shelley: “You work really well under pressure; I truly admire that about you.”

Christina: “Oh, thank you so much! That makes me happy, I try hard to stay focused and relaxed.”

Shelley has given a nice and motivating compliment to Christina who graciously accepts! Shelley is feeling so happy that she could positively impact Christina by sharing her feelings and Christina is happy and feeling boosted that her efforts are paying off. Both walk away feeling happy and bonded.

The Mirror Lies

What we see in the mirror isn’t what everyone else sees. We often don’t see ourselves in a bright light like everyone else sees us. We see flaws and failure; they see strength and confidence. I love compliments, I think that most of us do. I don’t always believe the compliment being made about myself, but I am trying very hard not to negate it. I try to own it, to embrace it, to let it bring me and someone else joy.

The next time that you are given a compliment, try to embrace it if you don’t already, and see where that takes you. I am willing to bet that it will leave you feeling confident and lifted!

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We Are All One

Although not healthy, it is natural to compare ourselves to other people. We want to know that we are similar enough to others, that we are not alone, and that we are all humans living this crazy life journey.

I love when I see other people that are unique and eccentric, I love when others are true to who they are and are not afraid to show all sides of themselves. I also love when I get a glimpse of someone, and it shows that they are human and the same as the rest of us.

Our Backgrounds

We all come from very different backgrounds. We have experienced different childhoods, teenage years, and adult life. Each of our struggles and burdens are unique to us. With this, comes individual mindsets, thinking patterns, and the way that we view the world.

Sometimes we fear that we are different than others in a negative way. We think that others have something that we don’t, that their life is a lot easier than ours, and that we lack basic life skills that others seem to possess. It can truly get us down if we feel too far disconnected from the human race.

A Beautiful Comment

One of my lovely Medium friends, Emily, made a very beautiful comment about how we realize through reading each other’s writing that we are similar after all. I have noticed this as well and it helps fill my life with positivity, hope, and the feeling that I am not alone in this crazy journey.

Even with my closest friends, I sometimes feel alone and that I am so different than everyone else. I want to be different, but I don’t like feeling so different that I feel like an outcast. I have always felt that I view life and react to life much differently than others.

Shockingly, Emily and I have quite a lot in common! We have similar personal goals, past experiences, we have future goals that align, and our personality traits seem similar. It always amazes me how writing can bring people together, even an entire community!

Food for Thought

Emily’s comment stuck with me and inspired me to write this story. As we write and even as we talk and socialize with others, we realize that we are more similar than we are different. The differences are what make life beautiful, we are unique individuals and should be expressed as such.

The interesting thing is that the more we express ourselves and share, the more we realize we are all the same. No matter what background we come from, we all have fears, insecurities, wants, desires, and needs. We all know happiness and we know what loss is.

The Takeaway

The person that looks like they have it all together on the outside is just the same as you and I. Life doesn’t cater to anyone, we all go through challenges. I can’t tell you how many times I have spoken with someone, and they tell me a story about their lives that I would have never expected would happen to them. I sit there left in shock and reminded that the human race is one.

The same goes for writing, as Emily said. We learn about each other as we bare our souls. Through writing we learn about each other’s innermost feelings and ones that may not be shared otherwise.

We realize that the differences are tiny, and the similarities have no end.

Do You Have Unspoken Words With Someone?

In life, we are constantly meeting people and socializing with others whether it be at school, work, or even at the grocery store.

We all come from many walks of life and because of that, we have very different ways of viewing things and perceiving the world around us. With these differences comes possible misunderstandings and strains on relationships.

Life Unfiltered

Getting two or more people together isn’t always going to go smoothly. People have opinions, they feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood.

Most of the time individuals can come together to hash out their differences and come to a mutual understanding. Hopefully following this will be forgiveness and moving forward in the relationship.

The Downside

Unfortunately, being able to work through differences and settle arguments doesn’t always work out in our favor.

The other party may not be willing to sacrifice, or work it out, they may simply not even respond. This type of situation can leave us feeling hopeless.

Do you have something to say, but are not ready or able to say it?

Left Unsaid

Maybe the other person is not willing to talk to you, or maybe you have something to say, but the timing is not right.

Whatever it may be, it is important to let out your feelings and get what you want to say off of your chest.

Words left unsaid can be very damaging to one’s health. Not being able to share what is on your mind and in your heart is very stressful and prevents us from living authentically.

One Little Trick

Whenever I find myself in a situation where I cannot contact the other person, or I don’t want to let my feelings out just yet, I turn to one thing.

I get out a journal and I address the letter to the person to whom I wish to relay the message to. I start by writing their name and then I let my thoughts flow from my head to my hand. I write everything down that I wish I could say to this particular person.

It’s Up to You

Sending the letter will be up to you. I have letters that I have saved, ones that I wrote and then put in the trash, and letters that I have sent to the intended recipient after they were completed.

This simple exercise is very helpful in clearing your mind. It can help ease the heaviness in your heart and make you feel more at peace with your past.

Even when the letter is not sent or read by anyone else, you will have had the chance to say what you wanted to and that is so freeing and does wonders for healing. Bottled-up feelings come back to haunt us in the future.

Think of Someone

Is there someone in your life that you have unspoken words with? Is there something that you’ve want to get off of your chest but felt like it was the wrong time, or that the other person wouldn’t be receptive?

Try writing a letter to this individual and see how much better you feel. Bonus points if you end up sending it, but the idea and meaning behind this letter is to get what has been left unsaid out in the open.

I hope that at least someone will be able to benefit from this exercise the way that I do. It’s very hard to go through life without sharing what is going on deep inside of you. We are all on a journey to a happier life, a few small steps in the right direction can make a huge difference!

Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

Reconnection

What sort of emotions and memories come to mind when you think of the word reconnection? I’m sure many. We all have many memories and experiences in our pasts, as well as people that evoke all sorts of different emotions. Recalling a memory can bring back feelings of joy, sadness, anxiety, bliss.

When situations repeat themselves, or we reconnect with loved ones from our past, so many emotions start to resurface. It can be a wonderful feeling to reconnect after a long time, or it could bring back memories that we would rather leave in the past. Sometimes it’s worth reconnecting with people from our past if both people have matured and can get past whatever distanced them to begin with, other times it’s best to leave the past in the past.

If someone, or something from your past resurfaces, if you are comfortable, take some time to explore it to get an idea if that is something, or someone you want back in your life. Take it slow and see where it takes you and remember you are in control and can decide to cut ties whenever you please. Take every chance you can in life, sometimes it is a great joy to take a familiar walk down memory lane!