Determination vs. Obsession

Ever had a goal that you absolutely had to reach, or an idea that you just were compelled to make happen? Life gives us many opportunities and allows us to go after whatever our hearts desire.

Some people are more laid back and work towards what they want at a slower and more carefree pace and others are strongly determined from the beginning and won’t stop until they have what they sought after. I am one of those people. Sometimes I focus so much on what I want that I expend all my energy until I have it.

Determination after a while can start to feel almost like an obsession. We live and breathe our desire and at some point it may be all we can think of and focus on. Our minds can really run away on us and we can lose ourselves. We must remember to keep control over ourselves and not let our minds run wild and become so wrapped up in our desires!

Inside the Mind of a Blogger

I recently came across an amazing quote that I found to be so true. “A writer is a world trapped in a person.” – Victor Hugo. This quote really spoke to me, it describes me as a blogger. This side of me, my writing side, goes very deep and is often a side of me solely expressed through writing.

I have loved writing since I was very young. I sometimes had trouble coming up with what to write about in school, but once I came up with a certain topic and got started, there was no stopping me! I loved the feeling of putting pen to paper and just letting my thoughts flow. I was in my element and felt so free. I still feel the very same today, maybe even more so. Writing to me is incredibly therapeutic and is an amazing form of expression.

When I write, whether it be pen to paper, or on my laptop, I really do feel like I am in another world and also that I have a whole nother world to express. Each and every topic that I choose to write about has great importance to me. There is so much that I feel I have to say and so much desire to share with the world in hopes to help someone find happiness, motivation, peace, hope, inspiration, being able to relate. I’m curious how other bloggers feel about this quote, does it also apply to you?

You Don’t Know

“If you haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes, it’s difficult to know the fit, so be kind and compassionate.” – Heather Wolf. This quote is so true and although I always try my best to be kind and compassionate and I am a very empathetic person, it is truly not possible to know exactly how a person feels until you have been in their shoes.

Earlier this year one of my friends was in a situation and she was describing what it felt like to be in that situation and how she reacted etc. I listened and empathized with her, she explained her feelings and at that time I remember being compassionate towards her, yet not understanding exactly how or why she felt that way. Everyone is different and responds to situations differently, I listened and supported her. After our conversation I found myself pondering how I would react and feel if I were in the same situation. It was not even close to how she felt, yet ironically a few months later I found myself in the same exact situation as her with the same exact feelings as she had described!

The takeaway from this post is that we cannot possibly know what it feels like to be in a situation if we are not actually in it. We can guess and think of how we would feel, but it is not possible to know until then. I was shocked that I reacted completely different than what I had imagined that I would. I am a very open-minded and non-judgmental person, yet this was very eye-opening for me!

Hamster Wheel

Our brain is a very interesting and powerful organ. Whatever we feed it can make or break us. Our minds soak up a lot of information including the thoughts that we have and if we are not consciously filtering our thoughts, they can really take over us. Sometimes this process is slow, or we do not recognize how we are shaping our brain, but it truly does eventually have a great impact.

Have you ever been thinking of something, or worried about something and then before you know it you are thinking about that thought over and over again? Or, maybe your mind may have thought up many new thoughts that led to other thoughts and then you forgot the one you were originally thinking about! Our minds can take a thought and run with it if we let it.

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You may have heard of the terms hamster wheel and snowball effect. Both describe what happens to our brain when we overthink, or think in an anxious manner. The hamster wheel basically describes how someone persistently thinks the same thoughts over and over again, but gets nowhere because their thoughts go around and around in circles like a hamster running on a hamster wheel. The snowball effect states that our thoughts continue to gain momentum and power the more that we keep thinking. Like a snowball that gets bigger as it rolls down a hill, the thoughts keep gaining speed and power as it collects more momentum, our thoughts are fueling more thoughts.

These patterns of thinking happen to all of us, but I feel like they may be more common in individuals that are deep-thinkers, or are prone to anxiety. I know that I fall into both of these categories and once my mind gets going, it can be very hard to get it to stop. I have found ways that have helped though. First, it helps to calm the mind from all of the racing thoughts. Ways to do this include meditation, focusing on your breathing, observing details in the objects around the room you are in, anything that can shift your brain away from the current thoughts you are having. Once your mind is calmer, then you can put your energy into a project, or your to-do list, keeping active to avoid overthinking too much. If your mind was running because you were pondering a decision, or because of a question that you have, once you have relaxed some, try to look at the decision or question at hand logically and try to remove as much emotion as possible. Try to be mindful when your mind starts to wander astray from focusing just on the task at hand, which is to solve your question, or make a decision.

It is definitely easier said than done, but try not to let your mind run away on you! I still struggle with this often, but it really does rob one of a peaceful day. Having some control of the mind makes for a much easier way of life!

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Left Unsaid

Communication is the basis of all human relationships and human interactions in general. When we communicate with others, we do so verbally and non-verbally. Sometimes it’s the non-verbal cues that give more meaning than what is actually being said. We have the choice to say as much, or as little as we want to, but sometimes leaving the important things left unsaid has the potential to create many problems.

Some things are better left unsaid, this includes anything that someone might take offense to, anything unkind, or hurtful should not be said. There are other instances where speaking up and saying what is on your mind and in your heart is vital and could make or break relationships that you have with other people.

I have gotten better with time, but I am guilty of not always sharing what I should be. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely stand up for myself, maybe a little too much sometimes, but I do struggle with sharing what’s on my mind with others and I have ended up in some bad situations because of it. Communication really is key and is highly valuable and important. Every situation where we feel like we have not done all that we could have, or we feel that we could have approached the issue in a better way, helps us grow and learn.

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We may be afraid to say certain things to others for many reasons. We might be afraid of judgement, rejection, hurting people’s feelings, we may fear losing someone, when in actuality we may lose them to not communicating our needs and wants effectively. Not speaking from your heart and trying to cover up, or ignore issues only leads to resentment and relationships can quickly spiral down from there.

When we say what is bothering us, or what is on our minds, we free ourselves. It is a heavy weight to carry something unsaid around with you, it weighs on your mind and heart. So many of life’s issues and situations can be solved with effective communication.

Like I mentioned before, some things are better left unsaid, but others are not. If there is something weighing on you, something you can’t get out of your mind, something that has put distance between you and a loved one, it’s never too late to try to mend, or make a relationship better. Don’t leave anything important to you left…unsaid.

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