I Forgive Myself

Some of you may recall reading about the story of my ex-boyfriend. It was a summary of what happened in our relationship, including the end. I chose to write him a letter expressing my feelings, one that I have zero intention of sending.

I received many kind and supportive comments, both here and on Medium, and I truly cannot thank you all enough. It meant so much to me to hear your stories, feel your love and support, and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone. There was one comment in particular that struck me and one that sends a beautiful message that we all need to hear.

The Comments

I was scrolling through the comments and my heart was flooded with love and warmth. I felt like I wasn’t alone, I felt like I was heard and understood. I felt grateful that I could release my emotions in the form of a letter and still have someone stand by my side. One comment, in particular, melted my heart and got me thinking. The comment mentioned that I should show myself kindness and make sure to forgive myself in this situation.

What a beautiful reminder! “Forgive yourself.” Two very powerful words. We spend so much time forgiving others and being kind and respectful to other people, which is wonderful, but do we do this for ourselves? We should be on the list of people that we forgive and are kind to, after all, we are all human.

The Wheels are Turning

I had to read this beautiful comment twice because it struck me. This lovely individual was right, I needed to cut myself some slack and forgive myself. As human beings, we tend to beat ourselves up over many things in life. If the same thing were to happen to a loved one, we most likely would respond with empathy and understanding, but when it happens to us, we are way too hard on ourselves. My brain started thinking of so many things.

I was reminded that I need to be kinder to myself. I spend so much time being kind to others, I should also include myself because I am deserving, every being is deserving. We are all human and we are all learning. No one is perfect. We get up every day and try our best.

Forgiving Myself

I began to think of ways that I could forgive myself regarding this situation. I forgive myself for not openly communicating, and for not knowing what to do to resolve the issues. I forgive myself for being human and having feelings that I couldn’t express fully and clearly enough. I forgive myself for not seeing the signs sooner, possibly due to denial.

It felt amazing to think about why I deserve forgiveness and kindness. This comment helped me so much with healing and moving forward. I did the best that I could at the time, and I learned a whole lot. If I ever find myself in this situation again, I will know how to handle it.

An Important Reminder

The words of others are extremely important. This is just one example of how others’ words can truly influence us. We must remember the power of words. It’s almost important to remember to show ourselves the kindness that we deserve. We are so quick to get angry and upset with ourselves, but we could all be in a better place if we chose to have the patience that we have with others for ourselves.

Thank you for reminding me that I am human and that it is okay to make a mistake. Thank you for reminding me that I too deserve the love, kindness, and forgiveness that I give so freely to others.

Every burden that we carry adds weight to our hearts and prevents us from true happiness. Is there something that you can forgive yourself for today?

When the World is Against You

Most of us have been there. We face issue after issue, roadblock after roadblock and still there is no sign of it slowing down.

Every day, we start to wake up and wonder “what will happen next?” It can be a very uncomfortable feeling and one that can leave us thinking that the world is against us.

When It Rains, It Pours

There seems to be a lot of truth to this phrase. Often when life gets us down, it has to kick us a few more times before we are shown the light.

We might start to feel singled out and that we must have done something terrible to deserve all of the bad events that have happened to us.

Recently

Lately, I have been feeling this way. So many things have not gone smoothly, and it can get you down and make you see life negatively.

I truly wonder why things happen so often in numbers rather than a single event, but I suppose that once we can get through this mountain, the sun will shine for a while, hopefully without interruptions! It’s like getting all of the bad out of the way, to make room for the good.

Tips

When I feel like everything is working against me, I pause and do the following:

  • I write about what is happening in my life to let my feelings out. I also make sure to include what is going RIGHT in my life, so that I can see that not everything is working against me.
  • I spend time in nature so that I can see the beauty and peace that surrounds me even when I cannot feel it inside.
  • I cook or work on a craft. I do something that helps me feel more in “control” when I feel as though everything is chaotic.

Life 

Bad and good are normal parts of life. We can try ways to help with our feelings and also our perspective. I hope that these tips will come in handy the next time you feel your world has come crashing down.

I Should Have

Life leaves us with many questions. We spend much of our day going through the motions and trying to do the best we can with what life presents to us.

Being human is not easy! We deal with a lot of situations, trials, roadblocks, detours, we deal with pain, and a brain that feels like it’s on a never-ending hamster wheel.

Thankfully, on the contrary, we also have beauty, resilience, love, determination, and strength, and we are learning to be better every day.

A Common Phrase 

I notice myself saying “I should have” so often…too often. Possibly even daily. I found myself saying this a lot just this morning and it doesn’t give me the best feeling. 

Why am I saying this over and over? Are there regrets? Am I not confident? Is it because I am human? Could it be because I wonder what COULD have been? I pondered the answer and I suppose it’s a mix of all.

After I do something or make a decision, you can most likely find me saying “I should have done x,y, or z instead.”

My Thought Process 

I am a very deep thinker and observer. I am always in thought, which is exhausting. I am very much an over-thinker.

When I make a decision, I am always wondering what would have happened if I chose a different path or made a different decision. Sometimes I wish that I could foresee the future to know how a situation will play out. Don’t we all!

This way of thinking is detrimental and also against one of my favorite phrases “everything happens for a reason.”

Let’s Change This Around

If I want to be more confident in my decisions, I need to change my mindset. This may help you as well!

I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason and that in time we will have what we need and want. I believe that we may stray from the life path that has been laid out for us, but something will always bring us back to where we are meant to be.

It’s natural to wonder, but we can’t possibly know the answer to everything, nor should we. At the moment, we make the best decision that is right for us and we move forward. What will be, will be!

Worst case scenario, we end up in a place that doesn’t suit us and we can then make further decisions on how to remedy that.

The Takeaway 

Life is all about making decisions, taking risks, and figuring out what is best for us along the way.

We can’t be so afraid that we don’t live. Fear shouldn’t be what controls us, we are smart and capable and in the end, most things work out even if there is a long dark tunnel to get there.

I encourage you to practice this with me! Let’s stop thinking about what could or should be and let’s focus on what IS!

Your Words Are My Escape

There is a person that can take me away, paint an image in my head for me to get lost in, and a person that can help me escape reality for a bit.

Who is this person, you might ask? That person is…YOU!

There are a few ways that we can get lost in another world. One that can take us away from our daily lives and routines so that we can unwind and relax for a bit. Reading, writing, art, and watching TV come to mind instantly.

Reading Your Work

I spend a lot of time enjoying the work of others. I love to read what other people have experienced, and what they have learned in life, and I love lighthearted reads as well. I enjoy learning about other people and learning about their deepest thoughts and feelings.

I find it amazing how we can all come together as a writing community and learn so much from each other. The support that it offers is amazing. It is a huge blessing to be able to share your thoughts with the world and to have that reciprocated by others doing the same.

Thank You

I want to say thank you to those who have written about their lives to help and inspire me, those that have shared their beautiful and heartfelt poetry, and the writers that have shared their traveling experiences that let me venture along with you! I want to say thank you to those who shared their delicious recipes, who shared family memories, and traditions that made me smile and reminisce.

A big thank you to those who help me realize that we are all works of progress and that I am not alone, the ones that bring humor to remind me to laugh and not take life so seriously. The lovely writers who are also photographers who take breathtaking photos to share with the world!

There is so much talent within this community. You all have helped shape me as a person and as a writer. I enjoy all of your talented work and I appreciate how you let me escape reality for a bit each and every day! You are making a difference!

The Power of Peppermint

There are a few lovely scents that come to mind this time of year, one of them is peppermint!

Peppermint is one of those flavors that some people do not like. I love the taste of peppermint, but some of my loved ones are not a fan.

Peppermint has many great uses and properties. For those that don’t like the taste, if you enjoy the smell, peppermint oil can have a similar effect!

Uses For Peppermint

  1. This herb can help relieve headaches. I have a peppermint essential oil roll-on that I rub on my temples when I get a headache, it works wonders!
  2. Peppermint can reduce stress and anxiety. Just the smell alone is enough to help with this but consuming and/or applying it to your skin helps as well. Sometimes when I’m feeling stressed or anxious, I will use my essential oil roll-on, or eat a few mints.
  3. It can make you feel fresh and clear your mind. I love mints and peppermint chewing gum. Whenever I have these, the smell and taste are so invigorating, it really peps up my mind! I find the taste very refreshing and pleasant.
  4. Peppermint can quell queasiness. It has helped me with morning sickness, indigestion, and helped me tremendously when feeling nauseous.

A Christmas Scent

Peppermint always reminds me of Christmas and the holiday season! This is another reason why I love the taste and scent.

The ever-popular candy cane has been a holiday tradition for many years. They are eaten for fun, hung on Christmas trees, and even tied to a gift or card. Just seeing a candy cane makes me happy because of the memories associated with it!

Peppermint Joy

Enjoy a candy cane or get lost in the aroma of peppermint essential oil and see where it takes you!