Energy

As much as we would like to think that our mental and physical energy is infinite, it is definitely not. This is a lesson that I have learned over many years. It’s human nature to want to keep going and keep giving, but if we do not recharge and take time for ourselves, we will eventually have no energy left to give to the people and the world around us.

Like all things that require energy to function, the source of the energy must be recharged, replaced, and replenished, in order to keep going and keep working. A cell phone needs its battery charged when it runs low, a car needs its battery changed every few years, or it eventually dies and the car won’t work, a lightbulb needs to be replaced when it burns out after so many hours of shining brightly. People are no different, we need to regroup and recharge in order to function at our highest potential.

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As human beings, we are always giving our energy, our time, and our attention to everyone and everything around us. We are using energy when we don’t even realize it, this can lead to a burnout especially if we do not recognize the signs that we need to stop and recharge before it’s too late. Our jobs, relationships, responsibilities, they all require so much from us. We also must be careful of certain people and situations that drain us of energy. People go through things and no one is positive all the time, but try to limit time with those that are constantly bringing you down and draining your energy, it’s very important to set boundaries. Same goes for staying in situations that do more harm than good. We have this instinct to keep giving our all and keep pushing, but if we do not know when to stop, we are hurting ourselves when we really can no longer even help any else because we are depleted.

I am the kind of person that always likes to help others, always devoting time to lift people up and listen to them, I will do anything in my power to be there for someone that I love and because of this, I have had many moments where I have hit a wall and shut down. I could no longer give, I could no longer even keep myself afloat. I was burned out and could no longer help anyone, including myself. This is why it is so important to recognize when you are over-expending your energy, so that you can prevent burnouts.

There are many ways to recharge. Enjoy your favorite hobbies, watch movies, be with nature, read a book, take a hot bath, journal, just spend time alone and regroup. Remember if you don’t look out for yourself, you can’t possibly give your all to others in your life. Do something nice for yourself, your mind and body will thank you!

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Left Unsaid

Communication is the basis of all human relationships and human interactions in general. When we communicate with others, we do so verbally and non-verbally. Sometimes it’s the non-verbal cues that give more meaning than what is actually being said. We have the choice to say as much, or as little as we want to, but sometimes leaving the important things left unsaid has the potential to create many problems.

Some things are better left unsaid, this includes anything that someone might take offense to, anything unkind, or hurtful should not be said. There are other instances where speaking up and saying what is on your mind and in your heart is vital and could make or break relationships that you have with other people.

I have gotten better with time, but I am guilty of not always sharing what I should be. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely stand up for myself, maybe a little too much sometimes, but I do struggle with sharing what’s on my mind with others and I have ended up in some bad situations because of it. Communication really is key and is highly valuable and important. Every situation where we feel like we have not done all that we could have, or we feel that we could have approached the issue in a better way, helps us grow and learn.

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We may be afraid to say certain things to others for many reasons. We might be afraid of judgement, rejection, hurting people’s feelings, we may fear losing someone, when in actuality we may lose them to not communicating our needs and wants effectively. Not speaking from your heart and trying to cover up, or ignore issues only leads to resentment and relationships can quickly spiral down from there.

When we say what is bothering us, or what is on our minds, we free ourselves. It is a heavy weight to carry something unsaid around with you, it weighs on your mind and heart. So many of life’s issues and situations can be solved with effective communication.

Like I mentioned before, some things are better left unsaid, but others are not. If there is something weighing on you, something you can’t get out of your mind, something that has put distance between you and a loved one, it’s never too late to try to mend, or make a relationship better. Don’t leave anything important to you left…unsaid.

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Ways to Be There for a Friend

One of life’s greatest treasures is that of a true and loyal friend. They are few and far between, we are truly blessed when we do come across genuine friendship. These true friendships are rare and priceless and we should do whatever is in our power to grow and maintain them.

Friendships, like any relationship, take a lot of work to keep them going. Life throws many things at us and when a friend of ours is in need, that is where we can step in and help. There are many ways to be there for a friend, or any loved one for that matter:

Communicate – Reach out to your friend and ask them questions to let them know that you are interested in knowing how they are doing and what they are going through. A simple “Hello, how are you?,” or “I am thinking of you,” can mean the world to someone.

Listen – The act of just being there for someone and listening to what they have to say makes others feel valued and cared for. Let them do most of the talking unless they ask for advice etc. Just providing a listening ear works wonders in helping someone talk out their feelings.

Humor – Depending on the situation, using your sense of humor may, or may not be appropriate. If it is, bring up some old funny memories, send some funny memes, or jokes, keep your friend smiling and laughing. It’s a mood booster for everyone!

Explore – Get out in nature, or go explore the town with your friend. Being in a new environment and having distractions can be very helpful, also being in the sun and fresh air are definite mood boosters. Grab lunch, or coffee and just take a stroll and admire nature’s beauty.

Gifts – This doesn’t have to be anything big, a simple card, flowers, box of chocolate, something that the other person enjoys is bound to bring a smile to their face. Just the act of giving and surprising someone can make them feel valued and loved. It is the small things in life that have the biggest meaning.

Touch – Human touch is unbelievably powerful and can truly counteract some very devastating emotions. Some people don’t like others in their personal space, so be mindful of this, but if they are comfortable with you, reach out and give them a warm hug, hold their hand, put your arm around them. Touch is very comforting.

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As you get to know your friend more and more, you will be able to judge what is the best plan of action to take should they need a pick-me-up. It is important to remember that people cope with emotions and life in different ways and different stages, sometimes someone may need to have time alone before they are accepting of help and love from others. I have learned that the hard way a few times, it’s hard not to take it personally when you are trying to be there for someone and they are not very accepting of it. Feel out the other person’s mood and use that as a guide.

As you can see, there are many ways to be there for a friend. When friendship is balanced, they will also in turn be there for you! The beauty of true friendship is knowing that you both will always be there for each other.

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Rose-Colored Glasses

Recall the phrase “to see things through rose-colored glasses.” This positive look to life is not always to our benefit as ironic as it sounds. The phrase itself means to view, or to see life positively, seeing the good, being optimistic, being more carefree. While it is an excellent way of going through life, there needs to be a balance of seeing the good vs. seeing the full picture.

For most of my adult life, I have been more of the glass half-full, positive, happy, optimistic kind of girl. Of course depending on what life throws at me, I will definitely have my days, but overall I tend to remain mostly positive. In terms of this phrase, I do tend to see life and the people in it through “rose-colored glasses”. I can tell you firsthand that although most of the time this is a great approach in life, it has caused quite a few problems as well.

I am a firm believer in being positive and looking on the bright side of things and while this is in my nature, it is also self-taught, and was instilled in me at a young age. I feel like when I encounter situations, or people in life, I view them as seeing the good by fault. Of course, I realize that not all situations are good and neither are all people, but it is in my nature to hone in on the good so much that I tend to cover up the bad. This is something that I would like to change, so that I can develop more of a sense of what is real and genuine vs. only seeing the good. I feel like you can’t really go wrong with looking for the positives in certain situations, except maybe when you allow yourself to stay in a bad situation because you are only looking at the pluses. Where I feel this would really help me is when dealing with other people.

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When I first meet someone and start to get to know them, I of course see both the good and human sides to them, no one is perfect, or without flaws, however I tend to just focus on their good traits, so much so that I may let that overshadow signs that they may not be a loyal or genuine person. It’s almost like me telling myself “This person has been there for me in the past and just because they are doing x, y, and z now, doesn’t mean that they are not genuine.” It’s like I see signs, but I try to focus only on the good that person has done for me and that is sometimes a mistake.

My hope is to be able to see people for who they really are, good and bad, not only just focusing on the good. There have been signs thrown at me here and there, yet I tend to choose to counteract it, sometimes I even negate it. One day at a time and one lesson at a time, I will work on it. It’s wonderful to view life with rose-colored glasses, but make sure to take them off once in a while!

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Center Stage

Do you ever feel like the whole world has its eyes on you, watching your every move, decisions, and mistakes?  Well, to put it simply, most of the time they don’t.  We are the center of our lives and we are so in tune with ourselves and what is happening to us that we feel like the whole world is just as in tuned to us as we are.  The truth is, everyone is involved in their own lives and is not focusing, or watching us as closely as we perceive them to be.

There is no one that knows us better than ourselves, we know ourselves very deeply.  We know all of our needs, fears, desires, we have lived through all of our past experiences and that has molded us to create beliefs about ourselves, beliefs that we feel other people have about us also. In reality, other people do not see us how we see ourselves, they do not know us on the same deep level.

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How many times were you surprised by the response of others, where you thought they were thinking one way, but it turns out that it was the opposite?  For example, you have just finished giving a presentation at work, you feel like you blew it, like it was a failure, you think of all of the things that you forgot to say, yet when it’s over, you get amazing feedback from your coworkers.  Think of when you got a haircut that you didn’t like, or a minor imperfection that you have that you feel like the whole world notices, think of how many times you have brought those minor imperfections up to people and they respond by saying “Oh, I didn’t even notice until you said something!”  All of these examples show that we are entirely more focused on ourselves than other people are.  

In the world of psychology, there is a concept known as The Spotlight Effect, it basically states that we feel like we are being watched and observed far more than is actually happening.  I know that as a teenager I felt like I was always in the spotlight, always being observed and judged, but so did others of my age.  I still feel this way sometimes now as an adult, but I am so much more relaxed and I try to live life for me and not worry what others are thinking or saying about me.

I hope that this post has helped you in some way and that it reminds you to live your own life freely, be 100% you, and do what you love.  You are at the center stage of your own life and your audience couldn’t see you in a more brighter light!

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