Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

Dear Regret: You Are My Teacher

There are more times than I can count that I have walked away from a relationship, or situation and felt a sense of regret. I would tell myself that I knew better and then came the hamster wheel of thoughts including the should have, would have, and could have. Regret is a very difficult feeling to have to sit with and one that can plague us for years to come.


I can think of many times that I regretted a certain behavior of mine, or how I handled a certain situation. I know that the saying goes to “live life without regrets,” and for the most part, I do, however, I also replay certain events over and over because they didn’t pan out how I had hoped. I don’t regret anything 100% in life because I believe that everything happens for a reason, but if I was able to go back in time I would have done certain parts and situations of my life differently.


The most recent situations that I regret are how I handled the end of a relationship and how I handled a conflict at my old job. As hard as it is, there is no use dwelling on the past because what is done is done and there is no way possible to change any of it. What can we change? We can change the way we respond to a similar situation in the future, we can learn from what we didn’t like about something in our lives and we can grow from it and try to implement it in our daily lives today and moving forward.


Regret is a teacher in our lives. When you feel a sense of regret, that means that something didn’t align with your beliefs and values. Most of the time, we know how to better handle a person or situation, but for some reason, it didn’t work out that way. We are only human, life is not going to always happen exactly the way we want it to.


I can tell you that both of the situations that I mentioned above could have been handled much better if the communication was different. We all know the value of communication and how things can very quickly fall apart without it. I have learned my lesson and hopefully, those two instances don’t ever repeat themselves in my life, but if they do, I will be much better equipped to handle them.


Think of a situation that you regret. Think of how it made you feel then and how it does now. What did you learn about yourself in this situation? What did you learn about life? Some of our darkest moments in life, although painful, can be our biggest teachers. Whenever I find myself dwelling on something from my past, I try to quickly stop that pattern of thinking and I counteract it with thoughts of what I learned and how I am a stronger and better person today because of what I went through. Life is one big test and there are teachers all around us, keep going and working towards the person that you strive to be and you will end up passing with flying colors.

If I Can

It always amazes me how many different walks of life there are. How similar, yet so different individuals can be. It amazes me that we can look at someone and they can seem “perfect” on the outside, yet we have no idea what is going on with them on the inside. The happiest person may have the toughest life, situations are not as they appear and that is what tricks the eye and mind. I am always amazed at the stories I hear and what others have gone through in their lives. I, myself have been through a lot in my life, we all have, and we can all truly learn from each other.


I have loved to write ever since I was a little girl. As a child, I would enjoy writing many fun stories. This passion for writing was only fueled even more as I got older. I love to write on all topics related to life such as self-growth, positivity, life advice, relationships, mental health, and general skills that I have learned while navigating my own life. I thoroughly enjoy writing. As an adult, writing has taken on an even greater meaning.


Many times in life, I have scoured the internet looking for answers to life and trying to decode the behavior of others. These internet articles helped me tremendously. I hope that my writing will help you in some way. I hope that it makes even one person feel less alone, feel hopeful, feel motivated, I hope that my work makes at least someone know that they already possess inside of them all that they need to get them through life.

If I can touch one soul and make them feel like someone understands them and can relate to them, then that will make me beyond happy. I have a great hope that my work will speak to someone and help them in some way. I have so many messages to deliver to this world and many life experiences and advice that I want to pass on.


I enjoy talking about life, there is so much that we can learn from each other. Other individuals have different ways of thinking and approaching certain ideas and situations and by listening we can truly broaden our horizons and make ourselves more well-rounded and open-minded. I hope to make a difference in this world with my writing no matter how small!

Truly Love Yourself

I’ve always heard that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. To be honest, I never really believed that until recently. I always thought that I have plenty of love to give, why couldn’t I possibly love someone completely without 100% loving myself first? I have started to realize why.

We are our own worst critics, possibly because we know ourselves as no one else does, also we know all of our faults and our past. I’m sure that many of you have been given a compliment from someone and you appreciated it so much, yet you didn’t believe it to be true. Maybe you were told that you are a good communicator, that you are attractive, smart, and funny. It was great to hear a sincere compliment from someone, but you didn’t feel it inside and that took some of the joy away from those wonderful words. We are putting distance between ourselves and those that we love when we don’t truly love and have confidence in ourselves.

The act of loving oneself is not saying that you love yourself and your qualities 100% of the time. We all have things that we do not like about ourselves, however, the art of loving yourself comes down to forgiving yourself, being at peace with your past, having confidence in who you are and what you stand for, and truly being able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are proud and happy of who you have become.

When we love ourselves wholly, it opens up a brand new world for us to find, we are then able to sincerely love someone else as we can finally share pieces of ourselves that we may have hidden before accepting ourselves.
For those of you that love yourself unconditionally, I am very proud of you for reaching this level of confidence and peace. For those of you that have yet to reach this, I have faith that you will get there and I understand because I have been in your place, sometimes I still find myself there, but I can bring myself back.

The biggest step that I feel has been the most helpful in my life is negating every destructive thought with something positive, or at the very least, neutral. For example, if you are working on a challenging project at work and you are ready to give up, instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this, I am always a failure,” negate that thought to tell yourself that you acknowledge that the project is difficult, but you are trying your best and giving it your all. If you feel that you are not good at relationships you might feel that it’s all your fault and that no one loves you. Instead of this approach, negate that thought to tell yourself that you will work hard on communicating your feelings and that sometimes people are not always compatible.

Start working on all aspects of yourself until you are happy and can confidently say that you love yourself. Once you have mastered loving yourself, the whole world opens up to you and it is then that you will truly be ready to love someone else with your entire heart and soul. Get out a journal, or a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you love about yourself and the things that you are grateful for, you will find out what a mood booster this is!

I Knew That Was Going to Happen

Have you ever just been going about your life when all of a sudden you are hit with a very strong gut feeling, an urge/push, a premonition about something that ended up happening? That little feeling is called intuition.

Having a sense of intuition is something that is innate, it is inside us all, but in varying degrees. Some of us are extremely in tune with our ability by either gift, or simply working on strengthening the ability and others are not in tune, or even possibly not aware that they possess such a trait. You may have noticed for example when someone calls, or sends you a text message, you may automatically get a sense of who is contacting you before you even reach your phone…that’s intuition!

Ever since I was a little girl I had a very strong intuition, this ability has only grown as an adult. I’ve always been interested in this topic and I do try hard to strengthen this ability, so perhaps that is why I notice it more as an adult. When you are at one with your intuition, you will notice that it just “feels right” and you feel at peace. Have you ever gone against your gut feeling? How did that make you feel? Chances are it made you feel pretty uncomfortable and worried. Our bodies are telling us information all of the time. We can discover some pretty amazing things if we sit down to listen to what it has to say.

Try to follow your gut feelings because most of the time they will be correct. Your mind and heart can get in the way of a lot of things, including messages that your true inner self is trying to tell you. I have such a passion and interest on this topic. Please feel free to share any intuitive experiences that you have had!