Tag: Life Advice

When the World is Against You

Most of us have been there. We face issue after issue, roadblock after roadblock and still there is no sign of it slowing down.

Every day, we start to wake up and wonder “what will happen next?” It can be a very uncomfortable feeling and one that can leave us thinking that the world is against us.

When It Rains, It Pours

There seems to be a lot of truth to this phrase. Often when life gets us down, it has to kick us a few more times before we are shown the light.

We might start to feel singled out and that we must have done something terrible to deserve all of the bad events that have happened to us.

Recently

Lately, I have been feeling this way. So many things have not gone smoothly, and it can get you down and make you see life negatively.

I truly wonder why things happen so often in numbers rather than a single event, but I suppose that once we can get through this mountain, the sun will shine for a while, hopefully without interruptions! It’s like getting all of the bad out of the way, to make room for the good.

Tips

When I feel like everything is working against me, I pause and do the following:

  • I write about what is happening in my life to let my feelings out. I also make sure to include what is going RIGHT in my life, so that I can see that not everything is working against me.
  • I spend time in nature so that I can see the beauty and peace that surrounds me even when I cannot feel it inside.
  • I cook or work on a craft. I do something that helps me feel more in “control” when I feel as though everything is chaotic.

Life 

Bad and good are normal parts of life. We can try ways to help with our feelings and also our perspective. I hope that these tips will come in handy the next time you feel your world has come crashing down.

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What Lesson Is This Teaching Me?

Life tends to be up and down and all over the place. I am constantly looking for ways to better myself and make my life easier. There’s a little technique that I started using whenever something negative happens to me.

After experiencing something unpleasant, I used to sit and dwell on the fact that it was an annoyance to my day. Sometimes these situations would leave me in a bad mood for hours or even the rest of the day. I knew I wanted to change that. Life is too precious to hold onto bad feelings if we can prevent them at all costs.

Yesterday Was Stressful 

Monday just hadn’t gone my way, life is hard enough, but when there are added challenges in the mix, it is that much more complicated.

There was a huge issue that needed fixing and a very difficult conversation to be had with my best friend. Combine lack of sleep with a bunch of minor problems that all add up to feel like a bigger problem and you’ve got a recipe for a bad mood.

To be honest, I let yesterday’s events get me down. I was marinating in it and then decided that I needed to implement the technique that I’d been practicing.

My Thought Process

I didn’t work through the minor issues too much yesterday because I was too focused on the large ones. After giving myself time to go through the motions, I looked at each situation as a teacher.

The major issue that had to be resolved took over an hour and a half. During the whole time trying to remedy the issue, I felt so much stress and anxiety.

The dreaded conversation with my best friend filled me with sadness as we tried to work through the situation.

Look At It This Way

I am not the kind of person that bounces back from negativity very quickly, it usually takes me a while, but when I finally do get to that place, I feel so strong and empowered. Once I settled down, I examined each situation and what it taught me.

The huge issue that was once looked at as a great burden and waste of time and energy became a teacher of patience. It also became a teacher of trust. I had to be patient and trust that someone was able to help me no matter how long it took.

The conversation with my best friend that once had me feeling such sadness and feeling personally attacked was looked at as a teacher of communication and value. It required good communication from both of us to get through the situation that we had at hand, it also taught me that I truly value my best friend because, without that feeling, the situation could have just been brushed off and I wouldn’t have felt the need to have a conversation with her.

It Worked!

I felt so much better after turning these negative situations into positive ones. I saw these issues as a way to grow instead of something that would harm me.

Our minds are very powerful. If you are dealing with something in life right now, try to see what lesson there is to be learned. What is the situation trying to teach you? Perspective is everything!

Leave What Cannot Be Undone

How many things are you currently worried about that cannot be changed? For many of us, it is quite a few things. We may be dwelling on a decision that we made, or regret some of our past behaviors. As hard as it is to not worry, analyze, and overthink the past, it is so necessary for our well-being and to be able to move forward.

As much as we may wish, our energy both physically and mentally is not infinite. We must take great care to preserve our energy and save it for things in our lives that truly require every bit of energy that we have left.

When we worry about things that happened in the past, we are using our precious energy on something that truly cannot be changed, it cannot be undone. I’m sure that you can count many times that you have said something like “I wish I didn’t leave my job,” or” I wish that I could go back in time and redo a certain relationship.”

Living in the Past

When we live in the past instead of the present, we are robbing ourselves of energy that we could be taking to solve problems and deal with life in the here and now. The past cannot be changed, what is done is done and I know that is very hard to accept sometimes but accepting that fact and also being able to leave what cannot be undone in the past is so important.

We could spend countless hours of our lives thinking we could have, would have, should have and although it can be a stress-reliever to overthink and analyze these thoughts, it serves us no purpose, it does not keep us from moving forward, it does not allow us to make good decisions now that will shape our more desired future.

Often, I find myself thinking of the past, how I would change certain things about it, and how I would have done things differently, yet if I spend all of my energy focusing on what I cannot change, I am wasting precious moments of my life where I can make a difference. As hard as it is, leave the past in the past. It is a part of you, but it does not define you, nor does it deserve any energy from you.

My Best Advice

Worrying about something that you can’t change is very common human behavior, however, it will get you nowhere. When you find yourself slipping into thinking about things that you are not able to change, then acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way and then let it go. Remind yourself that you are focusing on working towards things in your life that you currently have the power to influence.

Whatever you are worrying about today, know that things tend to happen for a reason, things happen for life to fall into place, and things happen for you to grow as a person, whatever you are worrying about today, know that the past is in the past and the present needs your attention. Though difficult, may this be a gentle reminder to put your thoughts, time, and energy into what you can control. Many blessings to you all!

What I Learned by Going Against Advice

I, like many of us, think that I know what is best for myself. In the majority of cases, we probably do, however, there are times when we think that we know what is best for us and it may not necessarily be.

Many years ago, I had finished college and earned my degree and I stumbled across another program that interested me and was a way to even further my knowledge and my career. I studied hard day after day, passed my prerequisite exams, and applied to the program. It was a long wait to find out if I had been accepted or not.

The day had finally come, and I opened up the letter to find out that I was accepted! I was over the moon excited, and I couldn’t believe it. After a lot of preparations and arrangements, I made it all happen and made it to my first day of this new college program.

The Advice That I Was Given

The professor gave us an overview of the program, expectations, the schedule, and a bit about what we could look forward to and learn. I took it all in, excited as could be, notebook in hand, and then the professor left us with some advice.

She looked around at each of us as if to make her point very clear. The professor let us know that she had been doing this for many years and she told us that the students who succeed are the ones that work together to learn and involve each other every step of the way.

How I Felt

I am all about teamwork, I thrive working with others and I find that it is a great learning experience for everyone involved. The more minds that share, the more knowledge and ways of viewing things can be obtained. Surprisingly, my thoughts did not align with hers.

Despite my tendency to be one of the team, with all of us being in this program together learning new information, I decided that while I would make friends and at some points work with others, I wanted to learn most of this material solo. I wanted to be able to focus without distraction and I was worried that some of the information could be misconstrued if all of us were throwing out ideas.

Big Mistake

I watched the other students meet before and after class, they had regular meetings and hands-on activities to help them learn. I did most of my studying at home and sometimes during breaks on campus.

I thought that since I already had another degree, this one would be easier this time around. I was confident that I could do this alone, even though it might be a struggle. Time went on and I watched my confidence, my grades, and my health decline.

I started becoming so fatigued from pushing myself that I could barely function. My brain was not able to take in any more information, because I was on overload. I wasn’t able to piece the information together as it kept building and building. I felt myself slipping, how could this have happened?

I Wish That I Had Listened to the Advice

I was very upset and looking back I remembered the professor clearly saying that this was the type of program where we all needed to work together. I wished that I had listened, I regretted not following through with her advice.

I felt that I knew myself better than anyone else did, but this situation proved me wrong. I couldn’t believe that this was my reality, but I was determined to make it work.

It Was Too Late

I joined some of the study groups that my friends in the program were in, I started the hands-on practices, stayed late at school to study with my peers and even ate dinner there some nights. I tried my very hardest to follow every instruction that my professor originally asked that we do.

Sadly, despite all of my efforts to turn this around, it was too late. My grades were fine; however, my health was not. Due to the stress of the program, both my mental and physical health declined, and I had no choice but to withdraw myself from the program. I was in good academic standing, so I was told by professors that I was able to come back again if I chose to do so.

Little did I know, many series of events took place after this program that would have made it almost impossible to have done anything with the certificate even if I had reached the end. It was a blessing in disguise. I also walked away with a valuable lesson.

What I Learned

Sometimes we don’t know what is best for ourselves. We should listen to the advice of others carefully, we may choose to take it, or we may not, but we shouldn’t be so quick to brush it off for it may have incredible value.

We are usually better in numbers. As human beings, we are meant to be together, to help each other, support each other, and learn from each other. If I had stuck with a group from the very beginning, then I possibly could have made it through. We need each other, it is as simple as that.

Dreading Something? Read This

There are many things in life that we go through. Some good, some bad, and some in-between. As human beings, we deal with many different emotions as we process the world around us.

One of the many uncomfortable emotions is dread. In other words, when we feel anxious or worried, it can take a toll on us and prevent us from living our best life. It can even impact how we view the world and the decisions that we make.

Are You Dreading Something?

You may be dreading an upcoming meeting, long-distance travel for a wedding, a doctor’s appointment, a difficult conversation with a loved one, or a project that you are due to start at work. Whatever it may be, feeling dread for a certain date or event to come around is a feeling that is tough to sit with.

As with many feelings, there are ways to help minimize the feeling of dread. There are ways that we can look at the feeling and the situations that evoke it to help us in life.

What Can We Do to Minimize Feeling Dread?

  • We can realize that feeling dread is just a feeling no matter how uncomfortable it is. We can sit with it, recognize it, acknowledge that it’s there, and then try to let it float away. A thought is just a thought, don’t give it too much power.
  • Analyze the situation. What could be the worst that happens if you have that conversation attend that meeting, and go to the doctor? This way you can see what is the worst that could happen. Often seeing this side can help minimize anxieties as we realize it isn’t as bad as it seems in our heads.
  • Look at the positives that could come from this situation. You might feel relief, and empowerment, you may feel stronger for having conquered your fear. You never know what you might discover or learn about yourself!

What To Remember

Oftentimes, the very thing that we have been dreading for days, weeks, months, or even longer ends up being so much better than we expected. Much of our worry and anxiety comes from things that haven’t happened yet, so the anticipation of an event or upcoming date on the calendar can send our minds spinning.

If you are dreading something that is coming up, as hard as it is, remember that it will pass. It may be uncomfortable and feel like a burden, but you will get through it, and it will pass just as everything else that you have gone through in life. Here is a little motivation to get you through a trying time, you can do this!