Truly Love Yourself

I’ve always heard that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. To be honest, I never really believed that until recently. I always thought that I have plenty of love to give, why couldn’t I possibly love someone completely without 100% loving myself first? I have started to realize why.

We are our own worst critics, possibly because we know ourselves as no one else does, also we know all of our faults and our past. I’m sure that many of you have been given a compliment from someone and you appreciated it so much, yet you didn’t believe it to be true. Maybe you were told that you are a good communicator, that you are attractive, smart, and funny. It was great to hear a sincere compliment from someone, but you didn’t feel it inside and that took some of the joy away from those wonderful words. We are putting distance between ourselves and those that we love when we don’t truly love and have confidence in ourselves.

The act of loving oneself is not saying that you love yourself and your qualities 100% of the time. We all have things that we do not like about ourselves, however, the art of loving yourself comes down to forgiving yourself, being at peace with your past, having confidence in who you are and what you stand for, and truly being able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are proud and happy of who you have become.

When we love ourselves wholly, it opens up a brand new world for us to find, we are then able to sincerely love someone else as we can finally share pieces of ourselves that we may have hidden before accepting ourselves.
For those of you that love yourself unconditionally, I am very proud of you for reaching this level of confidence and peace. For those of you that have yet to reach this, I have faith that you will get there and I understand because I have been in your place, sometimes I still find myself there, but I can bring myself back.

The biggest step that I feel has been the most helpful in my life is negating every destructive thought with something positive, or at the very least, neutral. For example, if you are working on a challenging project at work and you are ready to give up, instead of telling yourself “I can’t do this, I am always a failure,” negate that thought to tell yourself that you acknowledge that the project is difficult, but you are trying your best and giving it your all. If you feel that you are not good at relationships you might feel that it’s all your fault and that no one loves you. Instead of this approach, negate that thought to tell yourself that you will work hard on communicating your feelings and that sometimes people are not always compatible.

Start working on all aspects of yourself until you are happy and can confidently say that you love yourself. Once you have mastered loving yourself, the whole world opens up to you and it is then that you will truly be ready to love someone else with your entire heart and soul. Get out a journal, or a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you love about yourself and the things that you are grateful for, you will find out what a mood booster this is!

Guided by Intuition

Recall that little voice inside that sometimes “speaks” when you don’t want it to, or is too quiet when you wish it would help you decide?  That is your gut instinct, your intuition and it serves a great purpose in life.  I believe that we all have a gut instinct that helps us subconsciously navigate through life, a little voice that pops up here and there when we are faced with a dilemma, are pondering a question, or trying to find our life path.

The evidence of our gut instincts can be seen during our daily lives.  Ever meet someone new and knew that you would become instant friends? Maybe the opposite, something told you to keep your distance from someone?  Have you been at school taking a test, read the question, had no idea of the answer, yet you got it right?  Have you had to choose between which job to take and later found out that you made the best decision of your life?  Have you had to decide whether to do something now, or postpone it and you chose the perfect time?  Though these examples could be due to coincidence, much of the time they are aided by the help of our subconscious.

So many times when we have to think or choose in life we unknowingly let our anxiety, fears, past experiences, or overthinking get in the way.  Our true thought process is tainted by these and therefore we may not clearly be able to see the best idea or option.  So, what is a good way to let your gut instinct guide you instead of your mind?  Often it is the very first, almost instant response that you feel.  For example, if you are choosing between taking Job A and Job B, ask yourself “Is Job A or Job B a better fit for me?” Without deliberately thinking or pondering the subject, notice which one comes to mind first, which one feels more right.  First instincts and thoughts are usually the most correct.

intuition1

Some individuals like myself have an even deeper inner voice known as intuition.  I believe every person has it, some just have a deeper sense of it.  This almost borders on psychic ability, as someone who is highly intuitive can often predict things before they happen.  Intuition is a gift that can be developed and grown.  I often try to develop my own by trying to feel how certain events will play out etc.  My beloved grandmother was very intuitive, even more than I am.  She could foresee many things before they happened and she often knew things going on before they were said.  I believe that I got my own ability partly from her.  My grandmother always told me that the older I got the stronger my intuition would be and so far she has been right.  God Bless her soul.  I miss her terribly. 

The next time that you are faced with a difficult situation, a dilemma, wondering which path to choose, curious if someone new is worthy of your time, try to see if what instantly comes to mind without truly thinking about it helps you in any way.  If you would like to share a story below of how your gut instinct or intuition has led you, I would love to read them!

intuition2