When Friendship Fades

“You have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” – Ziad K. Abdelnour. Do you ever just sit and ponder life and the past? Maybe you think about past relationships, friendships, jobs, a particularly exciting time, or milestone in life. Sometimes we think of how things could have turned out, or we question if things could have worked out with a certain someone if we had approached things differently.

People come and go, it is a part of life, not one that is easy to accept, but one that does unfortunately happen. When I was younger, losing a friend felt like the end of the world, it filled me with such sadness. I often wondered if there was anything that could have been done to save the friendship, or wondered if I had done something wrong, the same goes for romantic relationships. I would say to myself “If only I had communicated more,” “If only x,y, and z, didn’t bother me so much.”

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Now that I am older, I see a loss of friendships and even relationships in a new light. It is still painful to no longer have someone in your life, but I look at it in a different way and that brings me peace. I truly believe that what is meant to be in our lives will always be. There is nothing that can take away someone or something in our lives that is meant to be there.

Ziad K. Abdelnour’s quote that I mentioned in the intro of this post is really beautiful and I find to be so true. He explains that friends come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This is true for all people and things in our lives in my opinion. I really believe that certain people are put in our lives for a reason, they are here to teach us, strengthen us, and help us grow. Some people in our lives are here for a season for the same purpose. Not all people in our lives today are meant to stay there for the long haul. My belief is that certain people cross our path for a special and particular purpose. Lastly, we have the friends that are meant to be with us for life, the “family” that we choose, the ones who have been there through everything.

I believe that we should definitely do all that we can do to save a friendship or relationship that we value, however if it feels like you are doing all of the work, try to remember that anything that you have to force probably isn’t supposed to be there in the first place. As hard as having friendships fade over time is, I hope that you find peace in knowing that some people were not always meant to stay in your life, but you will always have the memories, lessons, and you will have experienced growth.

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Life Talk: True Friends and Toxic People

So much of our lives are spent interacting with other individuals on many different levels. We can have acquaintances, friends, family, significant others, coworkers, etc. Each encounter and individual that we meet has the power to impact us greatly…positively or negatively. I personally believe that certain individuals and situations are brought into our lives to serve a specific purpose.

I used to accept just about everyone into my life when I was younger. I definitely learned the hard way that this was not an ideal way of life, but every relationship and situation that we go through has the power to make us stronger. I’ve been through my fair share of fake friends and toxic people, but I have also been blessed with some true friends along the way. I must say that the older I get, these true friends sure do seem like one in a million, they are such a rare find. I do believe that part of this is because as we age, we have a better idea of the qualities that we look for in people when entering into any sort of relationship.

The older we get, we truly realize how precious our energy is and how much the people in our lives affect us. We start to notice who has been our true friend through good and bad and who has been there only at their convenience. Sometimes we may have a friend that is a true friend, but yet a toxic friend as well, or we may have a definite toxic friend that we should remove from our lives.

There are signs of a true friend and a toxic friend. True friends feel like a 50/50 give and take relationship. Both parties feel cared for and supported, there is no selfish or self-absorbed behavior. True friends should feel like a good balance, they should make you feel comfortable and able to be yourself. You’ll find them around during the good times and the bad. Toxic friends on the other hand usually don’t give you the best feeling. The relationship may appear one-sided, they may expect you to be there for them, but when you need them they can’t be found. Toxic friends will use us, put us down, and drain our energy.

I try not to let the past friendships and relationships affect my current and future ones, but having had many fake and toxic friends over the years, I have slowly built a wall up and it is harder to allow people in. I have to remind myself that new individuals are not part of my past and they deserve a clean slate and to be given a chance, some people are truly good and not out to do harm. Trust your gut instincts when dealing with others and love and cherish the ones that are truly there for you!

Knowing who to remove from your life can make all the difference in the world. Your energy is very precious, preserve it.