I Had a Friend

Some of the things that we have in life, we won’t have forever, in fact many things. Life is ever-changing and the people and things currently in our lives may not be there in the future, but somehow we learn to adapt.

I recently had a close friend that I have mainly lost touch with. Nothing happened between us, just contact had become one-sided. I would always reach out to my friend, yet this friend would hardly reach out to me. Time changes, people change, we come to realize a lot as time passes and we must accept and/or adapt to whatever is thrown at us, no matter if we do not like it.

This goes back to a blog post that I wrote a while back mentioning how not everyone is meant to stay in your life, some come to teach us lessons, or come in a time of need. This individual and and I are still friends, however our friendship has changed so much and we don’t talk as often, still when we do there is a lot of love for each other, but it’s not the same. Have peace in your heart knowing that things happen as they should and that people meant to stay close to you will never astray.

Reconnection

What sort of emotions and memories come to mind when you think of the word reconnection? I’m sure many. We all have many memories and experiences in our pasts, as well as people that evoke all sorts of different emotions. Recalling a memory can bring back feelings of joy, sadness, anxiety, bliss.

When situations repeat themselves, or we reconnect with loved ones from our past, so many emotions start to resurface. It can be a wonderful feeling to reconnect after a long time, or it could bring back memories that we would rather leave in the past. Sometimes it’s worth reconnecting with people from our past if both people have matured and can get past whatever distanced them to begin with, other times it’s best to leave the past in the past.

If someone, or something from your past resurfaces, if you are comfortable, take some time to explore it to get an idea if that is something, or someone you want back in your life. Take it slow and see where it takes you and remember you are in control and can decide to cut ties whenever you please. Take every chance you can in life, sometimes it is a great joy to take a familiar walk down memory lane!

Amazing Love

There are few things as comforting in this world as love. It’s a feeling that can be expressed in so many ways using so many words. The basis of life revolves much around giving and receiving love. From the moment we are born, we seek to find love and for the most part, that does not stop for the rest of our lives.

Love takes on many forms, it’s a feeling between lovers, parents and children, pets, family, friends, even love for a hobby, or passion. I define love as anything, or anyone that brings you to life, brings you happiness, that makes you feel whole, and that lights your soul on fire. Love is so powerful that it can conquer hate, fear, darkness, just about anything.

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Life is an adventurous journey filled with ups and downs, an emotional rollercoaster, a journey full of experiences, growth, and learning. Love is there for us in good times and in bad, it makes the good better and the bad bearable. As we go through life, it is the times of great joy and also times of great challenge and sorrow that we remember the most. We remember the love from others when we graduated, got our first job, got married, the birth of a child, we remember the love that we were given to make those special days of our lives even more spectacular. Love was there in moments of despair when we lost a loved one, faced medical issues, financial issues, when a dream of ours was lost.

There are times in life when we experience joy and sorrow and no one is there. I am sure that we have all encountered this, or have been through a moment in life where we felt lonely. There is still love present. There is love from our Heavenly Father, love that is cultivated through our passions such as writing and art, love from our pets, even our plants! We can’t forget about a major and very important sort of love…self-love. Love gets us through.

As you can see, life has many things in store for us. Love is the glue and foundation as we journey through life. It is comforting to know that no matter what we may face in life, that we can always fall back on love.

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Ways to Be There for a Friend

One of life’s greatest treasures is that of a true and loyal friend. They are few and far between, we are truly blessed when we do come across genuine friendship. These true friendships are rare and priceless and we should do whatever is in our power to grow and maintain them.

Friendships, like any relationship, take a lot of work to keep them going. Life throws many things at us and when a friend of ours is in need, that is where we can step in and help. There are many ways to be there for a friend, or any loved one for that matter:

Communicate – Reach out to your friend and ask them questions to let them know that you are interested in knowing how they are doing and what they are going through. A simple “Hello, how are you?,” or “I am thinking of you,” can mean the world to someone.

Listen – The act of just being there for someone and listening to what they have to say makes others feel valued and cared for. Let them do most of the talking unless they ask for advice etc. Just providing a listening ear works wonders in helping someone talk out their feelings.

Humor – Depending on the situation, using your sense of humor may, or may not be appropriate. If it is, bring up some old funny memories, send some funny memes, or jokes, keep your friend smiling and laughing. It’s a mood booster for everyone!

Explore – Get out in nature, or go explore the town with your friend. Being in a new environment and having distractions can be very helpful, also being in the sun and fresh air are definite mood boosters. Grab lunch, or coffee and just take a stroll and admire nature’s beauty.

Gifts – This doesn’t have to be anything big, a simple card, flowers, box of chocolate, something that the other person enjoys is bound to bring a smile to their face. Just the act of giving and surprising someone can make them feel valued and loved. It is the small things in life that have the biggest meaning.

Touch – Human touch is unbelievably powerful and can truly counteract some very devastating emotions. Some people don’t like others in their personal space, so be mindful of this, but if they are comfortable with you, reach out and give them a warm hug, hold their hand, put your arm around them. Touch is very comforting.

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As you get to know your friend more and more, you will be able to judge what is the best plan of action to take should they need a pick-me-up. It is important to remember that people cope with emotions and life in different ways and different stages, sometimes someone may need to have time alone before they are accepting of help and love from others. I have learned that the hard way a few times, it’s hard not to take it personally when you are trying to be there for someone and they are not very accepting of it. Feel out the other person’s mood and use that as a guide.

As you can see, there are many ways to be there for a friend. When friendship is balanced, they will also in turn be there for you! The beauty of true friendship is knowing that you both will always be there for each other.

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When Friendship Fades

“You have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” – Ziad K. Abdelnour. Do you ever just sit and ponder life and the past? Maybe you think about past relationships, friendships, jobs, a particularly exciting time, or milestone in life. Sometimes we think of how things could have turned out, or we question if things could have worked out with a certain someone if we had approached things differently.

People come and go, it is a part of life, not one that is easy to accept, but one that does unfortunately happen. When I was younger, losing a friend felt like the end of the world, it filled me with such sadness. I often wondered if there was anything that could have been done to save the friendship, or wondered if I had done something wrong, the same goes for romantic relationships. I would say to myself “If only I had communicated more,” “If only x,y, and z, didn’t bother me so much.”

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Now that I am older, I see a loss of friendships and even relationships in a new light. It is still painful to no longer have someone in your life, but I look at it in a different way and that brings me peace. I truly believe that what is meant to be in our lives will always be. There is nothing that can take away someone or something in our lives that is meant to be there.

Ziad K. Abdelnour’s quote that I mentioned in the intro of this post is really beautiful and I find to be so true. He explains that friends come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This is true for all people and things in our lives in my opinion. I really believe that certain people are put in our lives for a reason, they are here to teach us, strengthen us, and help us grow. Some people in our lives are here for a season for the same purpose. Not all people in our lives today are meant to stay there for the long haul. My belief is that certain people cross our path for a special and particular purpose. Lastly, we have the friends that are meant to be with us for life, the “family” that we choose, the ones who have been there through everything.

I believe that we should definitely do all that we can do to save a friendship or relationship that we value, however if it feels like you are doing all of the work, try to remember that anything that you have to force probably isn’t supposed to be there in the first place. As hard as having friendships fade over time is, I hope that you find peace in knowing that some people were not always meant to stay in your life, but you will always have the memories, lessons, and you will have experienced growth.

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