Someone Has to Make the First Move

Think of a game of chess. Two people are sitting together ready to make a move. One player has to make the first move and a chain reaction follows. The players keep taking turns, each action forms a reaction, and the chain goes on.

Just like a game of chess, the people and situations in our lives also live by this rule. Someone has to make the first move. Sure, things just randomly happen in life, but overall, they are the result of actions.

Life Examples

Imagine yourself at a wedding in which you don’t know anyone else, you are just there supporting the two individuals about to get married. You look around at the groups of family and friends and can’t help but feel out of place as you are there solo.

If it weren’t for your love of the two people getting married, you wouldn’t have gone at all. You have two options. You can sit quietly and take it all in, or you can branch out and walk over and say hi to some of the other guests. Either way, there is no right or wrong, but choosing to walk over and talk with others could change your day and possibly your life. 

Imagine if one of the people that you spoke to became your best friend over time, or that they knew someone and introduced you and then you two become lovers.

The Dating World 

It is often up for debate who should make the first move in the dating world. Sometimes meeting someone happens by fate and there was not much initiating, but much of the time, someone had to be bold enough to make the first move.

Picture yourself at a bar, restaurant, gathering, or any other social event. You may find others that pique your interest and that you would love to get to know better. Many times, the two individuals sit admiring each other from across the room, but no one makes a move, and the opportunity is lost. 

It’s natural to be scared and not want to approach others first. If no one chooses to step up first, then there is a great chance that we will be left dreaming, hoping, and imagining what could be. I am also a big believer in fate, however, so I feel that if something is truly meant to be it will happen even if it takes a miracle.

Jobwise

If we are wanting a new job, we could sit back and hope for the right circumstances and job to present themselves to us. We may want to wait until life calms down a bit before pursuing a new career, but truth be told, life never really calms down!

We spend time fixing up our resumes, and we apply for jobs that interest us. We have made the first move. The chain reaction that follows is hopefully being contacted by a prospective employer for an interview, which will then hopefully land us a new job. Your hard work has set off a reaction!

Fear Limits Us

Fear limits many things in our lives. We may avoid certain situations and people because we are afraid of the reactions of others and how the situation will play out. We don’t want to feel rejected or misunderstood and sometimes not taking a chance at all feels like the safest option.

While it may be the safest, there is no room for growth and happiness to expand in our lives. We may end up stuck in the same rut out of fear of change. We should try to be proactive with the things that we want in life. Many times, it is worth the risk!

In life, we must try to take every chance that we get no matter how scared because something really beautiful might be on the other side.

We Are All One

Although not healthy, it is natural to compare ourselves to other people. We want to know that we are similar enough to others, that we are not alone, and that we are all humans living this crazy life journey.

I love when I see other people that are unique and eccentric, I love when others are true to who they are and are not afraid to show all sides of themselves. I also love when I get a glimpse of someone, and it shows that they are human and the same as the rest of us.

Our Backgrounds

We all come from very different backgrounds. We have experienced different childhoods, teenage years, and adult life. Each of our struggles and burdens are unique to us. With this, comes individual mindsets, thinking patterns, and the way that we view the world.

Sometimes we fear that we are different than others in a negative way. We think that others have something that we don’t, that their life is a lot easier than ours, and that we lack basic life skills that others seem to possess. It can truly get us down if we feel too far disconnected from the human race.

A Beautiful Comment

One of my lovely Medium friends, Emily, made a very beautiful comment about how we realize through reading each other’s writing that we are similar after all. I have noticed this as well and it helps fill my life with positivity, hope, and the feeling that I am not alone in this crazy journey.

Even with my closest friends, I sometimes feel alone and that I am so different than everyone else. I want to be different, but I don’t like feeling¬†so¬†different that I feel like an outcast. I have always felt that I view life and react to life much differently than others.

Shockingly, Emily and I have quite a lot in common! We have similar personal goals, past experiences, we have future goals that align, and our personality traits seem similar. It always amazes me how writing can bring people together, even an entire community!

Food for Thought

Emily’s comment stuck with me and inspired me to write this story. As we write and even as we talk and socialize with others, we realize that we are more similar than we are different. The differences are what make life beautiful, we are unique individuals and should be expressed as such.

The interesting thing is that the more we express ourselves and share, the more we realize we are all the same. No matter what background we come from, we all have fears, insecurities, wants, desires, and needs. We all know happiness and we know what loss is.

The Takeaway

The person that looks like they have it all together on the outside is just the same as you and I. Life doesn’t cater to anyone, we all go through challenges. I can’t tell you how many times I have spoken with someone, and they tell me a story about their lives that I would have never expected would happen to them. I sit there left in shock and reminded that the human race is one.

The same goes for writing, as Emily said. We learn about each other as we bare our souls. Through writing we learn about each other’s innermost feelings and ones that may not be shared otherwise.

We realize that the differences are tiny, and the similarities have no end.

Lean on Me

Life is hard and it has many challenges along the way. We will have many experiences, detours, and roadblocks ahead of us. I suppose one of the most interesting things about life is that no one knows what is in store for us. One thing is for sure, it will be a mix of bliss and trials.

Many of us have someone that we can rely on in times of need, many people do not have anyone at all. This world is difficult enough to navigate, it’s even harder if we do it alone.

My Past

Growing up, I was a very outgoing and goofy little girl. I would do anything to make people laugh and I just loved to be in the company of others. This somehow changed drastically as I got older.

That outgoing fun-loving little girl became a very self-conscious and shy teenager. Once I experienced this shift, I internalized everything and no longer was open with my feelings. I had such bad social anxiety that I didn’t know what to say to anyone, or how to act around others. I experienced some very hard times, and I didn’t let anyone in on it.

Dear Diary

I took to diary entries and journaling to try to make sense of my emotions and what I was going through. It felt great to write it all down, but it also still felt like I was missing something.

I remember watching some of my favorite reality shows and just studying their behavior and ways of communicating. I was in awe of how they could be so real, vulnerable, and open. I aspired to be that, but I was far from it.

Fast-forward to today and I still struggle with being 100% authentic, I still struggle with sharing my emotions because I am afraid of rejection and that people won’t care what I have to say. I am afraid of people not responding, or that they will view me differently.

Slowly by slowly I am coming out of my shell and transitioning back to the carefree and bubbly child that I was. I am not there yet and may never be, but I am taking baby steps to move my life in the right direction.

People Come and Go

I have had my fair share of fair-weather friends, relationships with significant others that went south, and sadly many people who have left my life due to passing away. All of this loss truly takes a toll on me and makes me retreat even more.

It’s very challenging to be open and vulnerable with others just because of the mere fact that they one day may not be there. I have to remind myself of the benefits. We can’t know how a relationship will progress if intimacy is never obtained between two people.

A Burden Shared

One of life’s greatest joys is the ability to help others. There is nothing like seeing happy tears or a smile on someone’s face because you made a difference in their life. We know how empowering it is and what a great mood booster it is to be able to help someone and make a difference in this world no matter how small. What if we chose to not let anyone help us? This great feeling would never be able to be felt.

Connection and bonding are very important and essential to human life. We need each other. Some people may need a human connection less than others, but to some degree, needing others is necessary for our lives and for our well-being. Most of us get great joy from helping others and they want to be able to experience this lovely feeling as well when they get the chance to help us.

Other people can help us carry our burdens so that we don’t feel so alone and we can lessen the weight of the struggles that we face. Helping someone is mutually beneficial. The receiver feels loved and cared for and the giver has the great satisfaction of knowing that they made a difference in someone’s life.

Life’s Winding Path

One thing is for sure and that is that life will take us in many different directions. It can help take the stress off a bit when we know that we have people in our corner that are here for us. The love and compassion that you give to others deserve to come back to you. People need each other, it’s a two-way street.

You can lean on me, my writer friends. I am here for you and in your corner.

Thanksgiving Magic

Exactly two weeks from now, many of us will be celebrating Thanksgiving! It is so hard to believe that this time of year is here again. I am very excited for the holidays to arrive!

Though this time of year can be crazy, busy, stressful, and emotional, I try to focus on the good that the holiday season brings.

I have always been the type of person that goes all out for the holidays and enjoys them to the fullest. They bring me joy and excitement and they add a little spice to life.

Thanksgiving Day Traditions

We get up early on Thanksgiving morning to get food prepped and to set up the dinner table. Time passes quickly as we prep as much as we can.

Before we know it, the time has come to sit down and enjoy Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade on TV! Watching this parade has been a tradition ever since I was a little girl. For those that have never seen it, the parade takes place in New York City every year and consists of floats, dancers, singers, and the grand finale is Santa Claus! I’ve never been to the actual parade; I just enjoy watching it from the warmth of my home!

The parade lasts three hours long and gets my family and I extra excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Traditions truly do make the heart happy as they transport us back to happier and simpler times.

Dinner Time

The turkey goes into the oven while we are watching the parade and takes several hours to cook. In the meantime, the side dishes and desserts are being made and set out on the table.

We always eat our Thanksgiving meal around 2:00 pm/3:00 pm, this is much earlier than we usually eat. It is almost a meal that is smack-dab in the middle of lunch and dinner. Very outside of our normal meal times.

Back when my grandparents were still living, Thanksgiving was hosted at their house and our family would all travel and meet there for good food and good company. I truly miss my grandparents and other loved ones that have passed on, especially during the holidays.

Since they have passed, we all have started celebrating within our own immediate families for the most part. The holiday memories will live on, and we are continuously making our own.

After the table is set, we all sit around and say a prayer and mention all that we are thankful for. It’s important to practice gratitude every day, but we make a point of saying it out loud on Thanksgiving Day.

 Being Thankful

Life is never going to be perfect or anywhere close, but we all have something to be thankful for this holiday season. It can be as simple as having hope or having the chance to be with our loved ones.

However, you chose to celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope that you stay safe, have lots of fun, and realize all that there is to be grateful for!

We Don’t Talk Anymore

The other day I was scrolling through the Contact list on my cell phone, trying to find a phone number that I needed to jot down.

As I was scrolling trying to find the name of the person that I was looking for, I came across several people who are no longer in my life. So many emotions came over me.

What I Found

I came across contacts that have mutually faded slowly over time, ones that have ghosted me, and ones where there was a falling out. Sadly, one of my contacts that I came across had even passed away within the last year, but I didn’t have the heart to remove them from my phone.

After jotting down the phone number that I needed, I was left in a state of reflection. I felt sadness for the people that I had lost. I was left thinking of the memories that I had with each of these people. A brief sadness came over me.

State of Mind

After feeling initial sadness, I quickly thought of the phrase that describes how people are in our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Many of these people on my contact list have been there for a lifetime thankfully, many others were there for a reason or a season.

Seeing the names of people from my past brought back so many memories. I reminisced about where I met them, what we talked about, what I learned from them, and how each of them touched my soul in some way. Each individual, regardless of how the relationship ended, helped me grow in some way and even taught me about myself.

Acceptance

Unfortunately, losing touch with others is a part of life, but we are left with memories and what they have taught us. They have each shaped us in some way and we can be grateful for that.

I truly believe that other people are placed in our lives for a reason. Sometimes we may find that they are placed there at just the right time.

I have no closure with several of the contacts that I came across. While this does bring me sadness and wonder, I have to accept this fact. Maybe one day, our paths will cross again, and maybe I will never know, but it’s up to me to be at peace.

Message for You

As always, we should cherish the individuals that we have in our lives right now and express our gratitude and love for them. We should strive to directly and openly communicate to keep these relationships alive and thriving as long as possible.

If you have people in your life that you have had a falling out with, or that have left your life in some way, I encourage you to spend a little time thinking about the positive aspects of what that relationship brought you.

Maybe you learned about yourself or the world around you, or maybe you learned what you do and don’t want from a relationship. Sometimes we focus mainly on the negative things that we have experienced with someone, but even if we have to search for a long time, there is bound to be a positive that we can discover!