Tag: Friend

Too Far to Reach

Most of us know this feeling all too well. We have a family member, friend, or significant other who becomes quiet, reserved, and slowly distances themselves from us.

How does the distance of others affect you? Do you pull away, do you reach out, or are you filled with many emotions? Maybe all of the above. Family and friends that become distant from us are very common. How do we handle this situation?

We all have ways of dealing with negative emotions and life events, some of us withdraw and some of us seek others for comfort. When our loved ones choose to withdraw from us, it can leave us wondering what to do.

I am currently in this very situation. A friend of mine whom I met at a past job became distant with me several months ago. It is upsetting as I value our friendship very much. Right now, the friendship is at a standstill, not on my part, but on hers and I have to accept that considering I have done everything that I could.

When I notice that someone that I care for has become a little quieter than usual, I usually wait a little while to see if they come around on their own. If not, I always reach out to see if they are doing okay. Most of the time, I will find that the individual is going through something, and they have taken a moment to reflect. I let them know that I am there for them, and I give them space.

What happens if this pattern continues? I may wait a week or two, sometimes longer, and reach out again to check on them if they haven’t made any contact with me. Rarely do I have to do this, but in some cases I do and sadly some people remain distant from us for months, years, possibly forever.

It is a very uncomfortable feeling when someone chooses to remain distant from us. We may not understand why, but there is always a reason whether it is related to us or not. Much of the time, it is something personal that our loved one is dealing with and not related to us in any way.

So many emotions can be felt when someone we love pulls away from us. We feel sad, angry, confused, and frustrated. It is very stressful figuring out what to do and trying to cope with the feelings that take over. Our self-esteem may even take a nosedive.

One thing is for sure, we can only control ourselves and our actions. We need to do everything that we can to salvage the relationship so that we are not left with a guilty conscience. We are then left knowing that we did everything we could, and the ball is now in the other person’s court.

We are not able to control what others do and as hard as that is, it is a reality. We cannot make someone talk to us, be friends with us, or want us in their lives. For whatever reason they have chosen to leave or distance themselves, it is for a valid reason to them.

If this situation has happened to you before, it is hard to accept. Try to process your feelings and know that not everyone is meant to stay in your life. There comes a time when a one-sided friendship is noticed and the constant reaching out takes a toll on us. There comes a point in time when we realize that some people are too far to reach.

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Through Thick and Thin

I’ve always heard that finding a true friend is like “finding a needle in a haystack.” The older that I get I believe this to be true. I have a good number of friends and acquaintances, but I can count on one hand the number of friends in my life that I can truly rely on and have proved themselves to be genuine.

When we first meet someone, we get a sense of their energy, and our intuition and gut instincts start to kick in and tell us whether there is a good vibe coming from this person or not. Sometimes two people meet and there is an instant connection and other times we get a strong gut reaction to stay away. It may be difficult to tell who has genuine intentions, but sooner or later the truth usually prevails.

One can get a pretty good sense of someone else’s character fairly quickly. We are keen to pick up on energy, we can see if this individual sticks to their word. Someone who matches their words with actions is typically genuine. Unfortunately, some people are very nice to others, but it is not for the fact of being nice and caring for others, it is more for personal gains. In the beginning, this person may be difficult to spot, but over time their patterns may become more noticeable.

I tend to be someone that likes to see mainly the good in someone and I know that sounds like a positive quality, but it also can hinder your judgment when you are unable to catch signs that someone may be untrue. I am so busy looking for all of the good qualities that someone possesses that I overlook the red flags.

Over the years I have been able to spot a truly genuine person over someone who is not. Someone genuine will try to keep the relationship at 50/50, their words will match their actions, they will truly care about you and ask how you are doing, and they will have your best interest in mind and be on your side and in your corner. A true friend or significant other will show interest in your life.

If you do have a true friend, keep them close as they are few and far between. It is important to note that sometimes friendships shift and dissolve over time, this does not necessarily mean that this individual was not genuine. Even the best of friends are known to become astray and it’s natural for some friendships and relationships to run their course, people just outgrow each other and sometimes this person may have been in your life for just a season or a reason.

After being burned many times by people, I used to spend so much time analyzing others’ behavior and actions to see if they were being authentic, but in hindsight, it’s better to just let things naturally unfold.

As with most things in life, the truth almost always comes out and true colors are often brought to light. For those of you that have a truly genuine soul in your life, hold onto them and never let them go, they are a rare find in this unpredictable world!

Not Meant to Be – Poem

Our bond was stuck together like glue

Forever you and I, forever me and you

We laughed and smiled getting to know each other

You went from my friend to my lover

We had many dates in store

It was then that I realized we were not compatible anymore

I thought you were mine to keep forever

But sadly we could not make it last through the weather

I have my regrets and you do too

My life was not meant to be with you

I wish you all the best in life

One day you’ll be someone’s husband and I’ll be someone’s wife



I hope you enjoyed my first WordPress poem! I wanted to give poetry a try. Have a great week everyone!

I Had a Friend

Some of the things that we have in life, we won’t have forever, in fact many things. Life is ever-changing and the people and things currently in our lives may not be there in the future, but somehow we learn to adapt.

I recently had a close friend that I have mainly lost touch with. Nothing happened between us, just contact had become one-sided. I would always reach out to my friend, yet this friend would hardly reach out to me. Time changes, people change, we come to realize a lot as time passes and we must accept and/or adapt to whatever is thrown at us, no matter if we do not like it.

This goes back to a blog post that I wrote a while back mentioning how not everyone is meant to stay in your life, some come to teach us lessons, or come in a time of need. This individual and and I are still friends, however our friendship has changed so much and we don’t talk as often, still when we do there is a lot of love for each other, but it’s not the same. Have peace in your heart knowing that things happen as they should and that people meant to stay close to you will never astray.

Reconnection

What sort of emotions and memories come to mind when you think of the word reconnection? I’m sure many. We all have many memories and experiences in our pasts, as well as people that evoke all sorts of different emotions. Recalling a memory can bring back feelings of joy, sadness, anxiety, bliss.

When situations repeat themselves, or we reconnect with loved ones from our past, so many emotions start to resurface. It can be a wonderful feeling to reconnect after a long time, or it could bring back memories that we would rather leave in the past. Sometimes it’s worth reconnecting with people from our past if both people have matured and can get past whatever distanced them to begin with, other times it’s best to leave the past in the past.

If someone, or something from your past resurfaces, if you are comfortable, take some time to explore it to get an idea if that is something, or someone you want back in your life. Take it slow and see where it takes you and remember you are in control and can decide to cut ties whenever you please. Take every chance you can in life, sometimes it is a great joy to take a familiar walk down memory lane!