I have always feared the night, yet I find it magical at the same time. You will hardly ever catch me walking outside at nighttime, and even driving in my car at night has an eerie feeling to it.
As night falls, there is a noticeable shift in me. During the day, I am always running around doing housework, running errands, and chasing after my young kids. I am constantly hopping from one thing to the next without much time to just be.
Nighttime has always been a time for reflection for me. No matter how busy I have been, or what kind of day I have had, I always take a moment to sit in my thoughts and feel whatever emotions I have.
There is something so inviting about the darkness, the pin-drop silence, and the coziness of being inside as the night surrounds us. It is almost as if the night begs me to bask in its ambiance.
I have always been one to become very emotional at night. I spend time often in a state of reflection and reminiscing about my past. I like to reflect on where I am going in life and how I want to get there. My feelings and emotions become very magnified, sometimes much stronger than I want to feel.
In My Head
It is the night that has me turning inwards, replaying life events, and feeling the overwhelming thoughts in my head. My heart and mind speak back and forth in tandem. It is their time to shine. It is the night that allows me to just be.
Most of the time, the night is a very positive experience for me and the only time that I truly get with myself. Other times, the night is more than I can handle. There is no off switch, the hamster wheel keeps going around and around with no sign of stopping.
I Find Peace
Without any noise and extra stimulus that occurs during the day, the night is mine to spend however I want to. A wave of peace usually rushes over me, and I sit in silence so golden that I can hear myself breathing and I can focus on every breath.
I often write at nighttime. I have a recliner chair with a little table next to it and I sit there wrapped in a blanket in a pitch-black room with only the light of my laptop screen reflecting onto my face. The blanket makes me feel cozy, in fact, you will find me wrapped up in a blanket even on the hottest days of summer.
On my table, I usually have a little plate of snacks to enjoy as I wind down for the day. I put my fingers on the keyboard and let them take me away.
As with everything in life, balance is beautiful and what we strive for. The bright days, the dark nights, the sunny weather and the rainy, the chaotic moments and the peaceful ones.
They all blend together in perfect harmony.