I Am Me; You Are You

We all know how much of an impact our thoughts and words have on us. They can make or break us, and they have the power to influence our feelings. I made an observation yesterday that I have noticed others doing, even myself!

Have you ever noticed that when we are talking, we tend to use the word “you” when talking about ourselves? I do this all the time without realizing it, but yesterday I caught myself and made some interesting observations about it.

What I Said

I was feeling upset and angry about something that happened yesterday and I was talking with my neighbor about it. Referring to my rough day, I told my neighbor, “It makes you feel so lost.” 

I used the word “you,” but I didn’t mean you as in my neighbor that I was talking to, I meant you as in me. Confusing, right!? I have observed this way of talking many times, but never placed much thought into it until now.

How It Feels

When we use “you” to describe ourselves, it feels as if we are almost distancing ourselves from that feeling. It’s as if we are not taking ownership of our thoughts and feelings and we are using the word “you” to keep the feeling separate from us.

Some people may use the word “you” about themselves purely out of habit, and some might use it as a way of subconsciously pushing the emotion away from themselves.

The Power of Using “I” or “Me”

Just out of curiosity, for the remainder of the day, I was careful about referring to myself as anything other than “I” or “me.” When I was sharing any of my feelings, I noticed that it felt like I was sharing a piece of myself versus just casually talking about a feeling. It felt powerful and it felt like I was owning my feelings.

Expressing emotions is an even bigger relief as I felt that I was truly expressing myself by referring to myself in the right language context. I know that this sounds funny, but words do hold so much power. The slightest change to a word can bring about a whole new feeling and meaning.

We Don’t Realize

As we go about our busy lives, sometimes we don’t realize our habitual way of talking, we don’t realize what a difference it makes to change our verbiage and how much our word choices affect us.

Imagine you and Friend A are talking, and they come up to you and say, “days like this make you feel so helpless, it’s like you don’t even know who you are anymore.” You will still be able to offer your friend sympathy of course, but taking the personal context out of the sentence, creates distance between you and the other person.

Now imagine Friend B saying this: “days like this make me feel so helpless, it’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Which friend do you feel a stronger connection with? Which friend do you feel more empathy towards?

Try it Out

Think about the individuals that you are speaking to as well, they will feel more connected to you when you are speaking directly from your heart, words and all. As you go about your day today, try to see what an impact certain words have on your communication and your overall mood.

The words we choose and how we say them have so much importance to us and to those that we communicate with. The smallest word can have a profound difference in what you are trying to say and how others will relate to you. Never underestimate the power of words!

Dreading Something? Read This

There are many things in life that we go through. Some good, some bad, and some in-between. As human beings, we deal with many different emotions as we process the world around us.

One of the many uncomfortable emotions is dread. In other words, when we feel anxious or worried, it can take a toll on us and prevent us from living our best life. It can even impact how we view the world and the decisions that we make.

Are You Dreading Something?

You may be dreading an upcoming meeting, long-distance travel for a wedding, a doctor’s appointment, a difficult conversation with a loved one, or a project that you are due to start at work. Whatever it may be, feeling dread for a certain date or event to come around is a feeling that is tough to sit with.

As with many feelings, there are ways to help minimize the feeling of dread. There are ways that we can look at the feeling and the situations that evoke it to help us in life.

What Can We Do to Minimize Feeling Dread?

  • We can realize that feeling dread is just a feeling no matter how uncomfortable it is. We can sit with it, recognize it, acknowledge that it’s there, and then try to let it float away. A thought is just a thought, don’t give it too much power.
  • Analyze the situation. What could be the worst that happens if you have that conversation attend that meeting, and go to the doctor? This way you can see what is the worst that could happen. Often seeing this side can help minimize anxieties as we realize it isn’t as bad as it seems in our heads.
  • Look at the positives that could come from this situation. You might feel relief, and empowerment, you may feel stronger for having conquered your fear. You never know what you might discover or learn about yourself!

What To Remember

Oftentimes, the very thing that we have been dreading for days, weeks, months, or even longer ends up being so much better than we expected. Much of our worry and anxiety comes from things that haven’t happened yet, so the anticipation of an event or upcoming date on the calendar can send our minds spinning.

If you are dreading something that is coming up, as hard as it is, remember that it will pass. It may be uncomfortable and feel like a burden, but you will get through it, and it will pass just as everything else that you have gone through in life. Here is a little motivation to get you through a trying time, you can do this!

A Comforting Word

I was talking with my mom the other day letting her know that I had some concerns about the future. Normal worries like where we would all end up living, worries about family, just the uncertainty of the future in general.

That’s just it, the future is uncertain for everyone, nonetheless, my mother was a listening ear for me as I vented my worries. She listened carefully to what I had to say and then her response left me instantly feeling better.

My mom told me two things. One, “try not to worry about the future, we need to focus on the here and now.” Two, “everything is going to work out and it will be okay.” The first reply is something that we all know to be true, yet sometimes we need a reminder. The second reply is something that we don’t know for sure to be true, so why was it comforting?

Words have so much power over us, they can make or break us. When we are spiraling down and overcome with emotions, we look to what others have to say to calm our deepest fears. Those little words, “it will be okay,” meant everything to me at this moment.

Our brains work in mysterious ways, if we think logically, we know that it is not certain that everything will be okay. We can be positive, and we can look back on past experiences and realize that most of the time everything did end up being okay, but we know logically that this may not be true.

The words were comforting regardless. Why? Well, because someone told us so and we are more inclined to listen to others than we are to ourselves. Hearing it from someone else makes it a reality and brings back that hope that all is not lost.

For those of you struggling to make ends meet, struggling with mental or physical health, finances, feeling burned out, relationship issues, or issues related to work and unemployment, I want to be that person that tells you that it will all be okay, keep shining and going strong, it will all work out in the end. This is just a little roadblock and what is beyond this bump in the road is more beautiful than we could ever imagine!

Change

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how fast time flies and how much life changes. I will think of a memory, or see a picture from years ago and wonder how in the world that much time has passed when it felt like yesterday. We are constantly changing, life is constantly changing. In a way change is comforting and in a way it is not. There is not much stability in life, we must learn to adapt to new surroundings, people, and ways of life because as the saying goes, the only constant in life is change.

The Many Sides of the Mind

Hello all, if times like this haven’t created an emotional rollercoaster within us, I don’t know what will. For the most part I have been doing pretty well, but there are definitely times where I realize all that we are missing out on due to current circumstances. On the bright side, this has been a huge time of self-reflection and realizing exactly how precious life is and how things can change in a moments notice.

The mind is so incredibly strong yet fragile at the same time. It is equipped to process many emotions, information, and processes more than meets the eye as we go about our daily lives. We must take time to sit with ourselves and work through any negative or unwanted thoughts and feelings. It really amazes me how our emotions and thoughts are tied to how we perceive whatever is happening to us. How we see our life can truly make or break us. I wish you all a bunch of love and peace during these unsettled times!