How Many Times?

It’s happened to so many of us, you are sitting down focusing on what you are going to say and write, your mind is spinning with words as you come up with a way to present it perfectly, and then, pause, you delete it. If you are like me, this has happened one too many times.


How many times have you started writing a text message only to turn around and delete it? How many times have you spent precious time out of your day to create a blog post only to leave it unpublished? How many times have you bitten your tongue from saying something that you truly wanted to say? My guess is many.


Our thought process, though complex, is very natural. We see or hear something and we have a quick natural response to it inside our heads. When we are having a conversation with someone else, our minds are steadily creating thoughts and branches of thoughts. Your response to what another individual is saying most likely is fairly instantaneous. Your reaction is a true from-the-heart response.


The act of texting someone back and writing a blog post means that you had something that you wanted to say, something that was on your mind or in your heart. This response is authentic and often occurs without prolonged thinking. Whatever you had desired to write was important to you in some way, it had meaning and was genuine. What makes us want to delete something that we believed in and said?


There are many reasons that something we wanted to say will be left unsaid. We might be afraid of judgment, afraid to be vulnerable, worried that someone may disagree, fear rejection, or even that we may hurt someone’s feelings. You started to pour your heart out in a text message that took you several minutes to write just to instantly delete it, you started writing a blog post that will never be seen by another person’s eyes, you don’t reveal 100% of how you truly feel to avoid confrontation with another person.


This type of behavior is natural, yet it is not very positive for our lives. When we have something to say that ends up going unsaid, it puts a barrier between us and those that we love. We are not speaking our minds, which ends up hurting us because we are not truly being who we are. Having to withhold what you want to say is very detrimental to one’s autonomy. Of course, there may be times that we should not speak our minds, especially if it pertains to something that could offend someone. Feeling free to be ourselves is very beneficial to our overall wellbeing.


The next time that you have something to say, let it be known and see where it takes you. As a human being, you have the right to share with others what is on your mind and in your heart. We should not have to feel like we have to sensor everything we say unless, of course, it is something that could hurt another.


Send that text to a long-lost friend, have an open-hearted conversation with your significant other, and publish the blog post that you wrote that you didn’t think was worthy enough to be posted because what you have to say matters. Your words, thoughts, ideas, and feelings are all valid and important. The more that you start to align your actions with your thoughts and keep as close to your authentic self as possible, the more peace that you will attract in your life. Say what is on your mind and in your heart for the things left unsaid will never be known to anyone.

Dear Regret: You Are My Teacher

There are more times than I can count that I have walked away from a relationship, or situation and felt a sense of regret. I would tell myself that I knew better and then came the hamster wheel of thoughts including the should have, would have, and could have. Regret is a very difficult feeling to have to sit with and one that can plague us for years to come.


I can think of many times that I regretted a certain behavior of mine, or how I handled a certain situation. I know that the saying goes to “live life without regrets,” and for the most part, I do, however, I also replay certain events over and over because they didn’t pan out how I had hoped. I don’t regret anything 100% in life because I believe that everything happens for a reason, but if I was able to go back in time I would have done certain parts and situations of my life differently.


The most recent situations that I regret are how I handled the end of a relationship and how I handled a conflict at my old job. As hard as it is, there is no use dwelling on the past because what is done is done and there is no way possible to change any of it. What can we change? We can change the way we respond to a similar situation in the future, we can learn from what we didn’t like about something in our lives and we can grow from it and try to implement it in our daily lives today and moving forward.


Regret is a teacher in our lives. When you feel a sense of regret, that means that something didn’t align with your beliefs and values. Most of the time, we know how to better handle a person or situation, but for some reason, it didn’t work out that way. We are only human, life is not going to always happen exactly the way we want it to.


I can tell you that both of the situations that I mentioned above could have been handled much better if the communication was different. We all know the value of communication and how things can very quickly fall apart without it. I have learned my lesson and hopefully, those two instances don’t ever repeat themselves in my life, but if they do, I will be much better equipped to handle them.


Think of a situation that you regret. Think of how it made you feel then and how it does now. What did you learn about yourself in this situation? What did you learn about life? Some of our darkest moments in life, although painful, can be our biggest teachers. Whenever I find myself dwelling on something from my past, I try to quickly stop that pattern of thinking and I counteract it with thoughts of what I learned and how I am a stronger and better person today because of what I went through. Life is one big test and there are teachers all around us, keep going and working towards the person that you strive to be and you will end up passing with flying colors.

You Are Not Stuck

Have you ever felt that you couldn’t change certain aspects of yourself no matter how hard you tried? Do you keep finding yourself in similar situations over and over again even though you promised yourself that you wouldn’t go down that road again? Sometimes we hit a roadblock in life and it feels like we are truly stuck, it feels like no matter how many moves we make it’s always the wrong one. I’m here to tell you some good news…you are not stuck!

People are generally creatures of habit, we like the same route to work, we keep a similar schedule every day, and habit is what makes us feel comfortable. What if however, our habits are what is holding us back, causing us unhappiness, or giving us a sense of failure. As hard as it can be, you have the power to break the habit, you have the ability to free yourself from being stuck in life, you have the tools to overcome any obstacle that stands in your way. In most cases, the only thing stopping you is yourself!

Often times we make a promise to ourselves to change, we might make a decision to eat better, to exercise, to devote more time to our families, or we may simply be working on a part of ourselves that no longer serves us in life. We may feel that certain situations in life may be preventing us from moving forward and living our true authentic self. No matter how stuck that you feel, there are ways to help you become a better version of yourself and ways to move past certain situations in your life. Sometimes the solution is just taking another step in a different direction, a sort of indirect move that will ultimately land you where you are destined to be.

So often we find ourselves saying that we cannot leave a relationship because we have been with our significant other for many years, we can’t change our job because we don’t know if we have the skills to perform at a job much different than the one have, we cannot stop certain behaviors that we possess even though we know they do not have a positive effect on our lives. Many times we feel stuck because we don’t know what to do, or we may know, but not have the push to actually follow through. As with many things in life, true change takes a lot of hard work and determination.

Part of trying to get through the feeling of being stuck in life is knowing that there will most likely be consequences and sacrifices, but keep your eye on what you are wanting in life, keep your eye on your hopes and dreams and know that if you truly want change in your life, you have the power to do so in some way, shape, or form. Imagine the feeling that you will have when you reach a goal, when you no longer live with the daily burden of feeling trapped. I hope that in some way this gives you a sense of motivation to keep pressing for all that you desire your life to be!

Making A Decision

We make decisions every day, some small, some life-changing, some that we don’t even know we are making because they are on the subconscious level. Some decisions in life are easy to make, others prove very difficult.

We all have ways of making decisions, for some of us we sit and think and ponder all options, some of us like to write things down, or make lists such as the famous pro/con list. Some of us just sit back and let fate and life drive us to our destination.

The ironic thing about having to make decisions is that often they are made for us. Life changes, or changes our course or path and we all of a sudden are headed in a different direction. What is meant to be for us always will. When faced with a big decision I personally like to make a plan and let the rest unfold as it should! Have you had to make a big decision lately?