I Am Me; You Are You

We all know how much of an impact our thoughts and words have on us. They can make or break us, and they have the power to influence our feelings. I made an observation yesterday that I have noticed others doing, even myself!

Have you ever noticed that when we are talking, we tend to use the word “you” when talking about ourselves? I do this all the time without realizing it, but yesterday I caught myself and made some interesting observations about it.

What I Said

I was feeling upset and angry about something that happened yesterday and I was talking with my neighbor about it. Referring to my rough day, I told my neighbor, “It makes you feel so lost.” 

I used the word “you,” but I didn’t mean you as in my neighbor that I was talking to, I meant you as in me. Confusing, right!? I have observed this way of talking many times, but never placed much thought into it until now.

How It Feels

When we use “you” to describe ourselves, it feels as if we are almost distancing ourselves from that feeling. It’s as if we are not taking ownership of our thoughts and feelings and we are using the word “you” to keep the feeling separate from us.

Some people may use the word “you” about themselves purely out of habit, and some might use it as a way of subconsciously pushing the emotion away from themselves.

The Power of Using “I” or “Me”

Just out of curiosity, for the remainder of the day, I was careful about referring to myself as anything other than “I” or “me.” When I was sharing any of my feelings, I noticed that it felt like I was sharing a piece of myself versus just casually talking about a feeling. It felt powerful and it felt like I was owning my feelings.

Expressing emotions is an even bigger relief as I felt that I was truly expressing myself by referring to myself in the right language context. I know that this sounds funny, but words do hold so much power. The slightest change to a word can bring about a whole new feeling and meaning.

We Don’t Realize

As we go about our busy lives, sometimes we don’t realize our habitual way of talking, we don’t realize what a difference it makes to change our verbiage and how much our word choices affect us.

Imagine you and Friend A are talking, and they come up to you and say, “days like this make you feel so helpless, it’s like you don’t even know who you are anymore.” You will still be able to offer your friend sympathy of course, but taking the personal context out of the sentence, creates distance between you and the other person.

Now imagine Friend B saying this: “days like this make me feel so helpless, it’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Which friend do you feel a stronger connection with? Which friend do you feel more empathy towards?

Try it Out

Think about the individuals that you are speaking to as well, they will feel more connected to you when you are speaking directly from your heart, words and all. As you go about your day today, try to see what an impact certain words have on your communication and your overall mood.

The words we choose and how we say them have so much importance to us and to those that we communicate with. The smallest word can have a profound difference in what you are trying to say and how others will relate to you. Never underestimate the power of words!

Sitting Stationary

I was having a conversation the other day with one of my long-time friends. We were catching up and seeing how each other was doing. She let me know that she was stressed at work and felt that her job was overwhelming, and her relationship was nothing that she desired it to be.

I’d like to think of myself as a really good friend. I am loyal as anything, and I have a lot of love to give. I enjoy helping other people and being there for them with a listening ear or helping hand. I listened to her intently and offered my sincere support and advice when asked. There is one thing that I suggested, it was not meant to be harsh, but to be helpful and get her out of sitting stationary.

What if I were to tell you that I have had this conversation more times than I can count with this particular friend? What if I were to tell you that she has had this job for several years and talks about wanting to leave regularly? What if I were to inform you that the relationship that she is in has been around for many, many years?

I never tire of listening to others, everyone has a right to say what they are feeling and to be heard and understood and no matter how many times we have had this conversation, I will still always be there for the people that I love. I made a particular suggestion to this friend that has reminded me of a few things.

First, let me tell you what I suggested to her. I let my friend know that these subjects are something that she has talked about often and that for her to feel happiness and peace, she will need to make a change. Is change scary? Yes, it certainly is, but so necessary if we want our lives to become all that we want them to be.

Anytime that we are unhappy with certain aspects of our lives, or just unhappy in general, a change is needing to be made. If we feel like our relationship has gone south, we must take the necessary steps to communicate and try to repair it if at all possible, if our job is causing us more harm than good, then we need to find a way to either manage the stress or move on to another position that better suites us.

Sometimes we are afraid when we try to implement change. We don’t know what the outcome will be, we don’t know if the change is what we truly want, and we also have trouble thinking of what sort of sacrifices we must make to make our dream a reality.

Venting your feelings is one thing and it is a necessary thing, however, putting action towards those things is an even bigger step. I let my friend know that as hard as it may be and as many sacrifices that may have to be made, if she desired true happiness and freedom from these two things weighing her down, she needed to do something about it.

We have one life to live and one chance to make it everything that we have ever hoped for. We have one life to seek and obtain our goals, and to strive for happiness and balance. Anything that you desire will take a lot of effort on your part, but the result will be so worth it.

It’s hard feeling stuck in life, I’ve been there so many times, but it’s equally as hard not feeling like you can do anything about it. You have the power to change your life and to stop feeling like life is stationary, there’s no better time than now, start today!

Seeing Hearts Everywhere

For the past few weeks, it seems like everywhere I turn there are hearts. I see them in my food, on the ground, in the sky, I notice a few of them a day. The first one that I saw, I thought that it was pretty unique and special and now that I’ve been seeing them everyday, I can’t help but feel that it may be some sort of message.

Others may have a very different opinion on this, but I am huge believer of signs and communication from Heaven and the universe. I do feel that we are a very small part of something eternal and fascinating. When we are open, I believe the ones from Above can communicate with us and send messages. The universe is always looking for ways to contact us and guide us through this crazy life journey.

I’m definitely the kind of person that looks for meaning in a lot of things, so perhaps because I am more open and in tune it happens to me, or perhaps I see it because I am “looking for it” so to speak. Someone else may not even possibly notice the repetitive hearts. I’m not sure what it could all mean, but I’m just enjoying the miraculous little ways that the universe let’s us know we are not alone! Have any of you seen anything repetitive?

Left on Read

We have all experienced that feeling of being “left on read.” For those of you unfamiliar with that term, it basically means that you have texted someone and they read your text, but they have not responded. I’m not sure about you all, but being left on read is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. It evokes a lot of feelings for me from sadness to anger. I start to question and wonder what happened and why someone chose to not respond back. Sounds trivial, but it really does bother me.

Often we hear people say phrases like “I’ve been so busy,” or “I read your message, then forgot to respond when I had a moment.” To me, there is no such thing as too busy. Yes we get busy and we get caught up in life, but we always have time for things and those that matter the most to us. Many people are not bothered by a lack of response, I don’t like that I am one of them! I believe that if we do not take an unanswered text personally, it feels better and is easier to accept.

What are your thoughts? Are you bothered when someone does not text you back? Wishing you all a beautiful weekend!

Reconnection

What sort of emotions and memories come to mind when you think of the word reconnection? I’m sure many. We all have many memories and experiences in our pasts, as well as people that evoke all sorts of different emotions. Recalling a memory can bring back feelings of joy, sadness, anxiety, bliss.

When situations repeat themselves, or we reconnect with loved ones from our past, so many emotions start to resurface. It can be a wonderful feeling to reconnect after a long time, or it could bring back memories that we would rather leave in the past. Sometimes it’s worth reconnecting with people from our past if both people have matured and can get past whatever distanced them to begin with, other times it’s best to leave the past in the past.

If someone, or something from your past resurfaces, if you are comfortable, take some time to explore it to get an idea if that is something, or someone you want back in your life. Take it slow and see where it takes you and remember you are in control and can decide to cut ties whenever you please. Take every chance you can in life, sometimes it is a great joy to take a familiar walk down memory lane!