Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

Inside the Mind of a Blogger

I recently came across an amazing quote that I found to be so true. “A writer is a world trapped in a person.” – Victor Hugo. This quote really spoke to me, it describes me as a blogger. This side of me, my writing side, goes very deep and is often a side of me solely expressed through writing.

I have loved writing since I was very young. I sometimes had trouble coming up with what to write about in school, but once I came up with a certain topic and got started, there was no stopping me! I loved the feeling of putting pen to paper and just letting my thoughts flow. I was in my element and felt so free. I still feel the very same today, maybe even more so. Writing to me is incredibly therapeutic and is an amazing form of expression.

When I write, whether it be pen to paper, or on my laptop, I really do feel like I am in another world and also that I have a whole nother world to express. Each and every topic that I choose to write about has great importance to me. There is so much that I feel I have to say and so much desire to share with the world in hopes to help someone find happiness, motivation, peace, hope, inspiration, being able to relate. I’m curious how other bloggers feel about this quote, does it also apply to you?

Character

Can people truly change?  This is an age-old question with a not so easy answer.  We all have opinions on whether or not people can really change.  My answer is going to be sort of a mix and I will tell you why. 

We have heard people say “I’m a changed person,” “Be with someone because you love them, not because you want to change them,” or you may hear people say to one another “You’ll never change!”  What does this all mean?  Is it possible to change and if so, in what way?  For how long?  These questions are very thought-provoking for me and slightly complicated to write about, but one that interests me.  

There are different aspects of change, they could be personality, character, habits, temperament, etc.  Some of these are more easy to change than others.  I do believe that change is possible if someone really wants to, however the question remains how long will that change last and will an individual be highly prone to slipping back to old ways?

For the most part, I believe that personality and one’s temperament are pretty solid.  Throughout life we are constantly being exposed to many situations, different people, different ways of needing to adapt, these life circumstances can change who someone is, though temperament and personality I feel stay fairly the same throughout.  I believe people have many sides to them and situations, people, and life events bring out different aspects of our personality.  For example, I consider myself more of a homebody, but when I have a lot of plans going on, or I am doing a lot socially, I enjoy them and it brings out my outgoing and carefree side.  This doesn’t mean that I am changing, just a different side of me is being brought out.  Individuals can experience traumatic situations in life and these can cause someone to change their behavior, one may even notice a change in their personality.  Life events do change us, sometimes permanently, but I feel like our personality and character is innate and can always be brought forth.  Just how we all have things that make us happy, sad, or trigger us, those things are likely not to change, they are a part of who we are. 

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As far as habits go, I feel like if someone wants to change, that is when there is the best chance of an actual change.  When people change for others, or change due to pressure, this I feel is where the change may be temporary.  Even when one changes a habit for themselves, there is always that chance of going back to what is familiar and how we have done things most, or all of our lives.  I see this in my own self.  There are certain parts of me that I try to work on often, things like relationships, communication, managing anxiety, etc.  I work very hard as these are areas where I really want to make personal changes, yet it is a constant battle trying to change what I want and doing what is innate and comes to me naturally.  I know much of it is mind over matter, however true and constant change proves very difficult, at least for me!  I feel like there are sides of us that truly make up who we are and maybe are not meant to be changed.

So, for my answer to this age-old question, I would have to say yes, people can change and people do change, however I feel for the most part that change is either temporary, or that past ways have a tendency to resurface at some point in the individual’s life. This is quite a subject to ponder and there are so many sides to look at that there could be many opinions on this topic.  This is not to say that people can’t change permanently, they absolutely do, if someone truly wants to. Feel free to share your opinion on this topic below!

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