Tag: Change

It’s Not Over

Life has many ups and downs. It will take us down numerous paths, detours, and roadblocks. Life has a way of taking us on an emotional roller coaster. It ebbs and flows, it’s great and it’s depressing.

We never know what life might hand to us. In some ways that’s scary, in many ways that’s thrilling and leaves us with much hope.

Despair

Unfortunately, sometimes in life, we will have moments of despair. We may feel like we have lost hope, we are depressed, and feeling lost and broken.

In these moments, it’s hard to see any good at all. It’s hard to see the positives, the silver lining, and it’s hard to practice gratitude.

Life Happens.

As we go through life, we encounter many things good and bad. During the happy moments, we feel full of life and on top of the world! Maybe we just got married, had a baby, got a job promotion, and moved to a new area. We feel full of life. Things are going our way!

On the flip side, we have times when we feel that the world is against us, we feel like we don’t matter, and that everything is going wrong. We might be grieving the loss of a loved one, have been laid off, or ended a relationship.

It’s Not Over

Our world might be crashing down around us, and we feel that it’s over. The job loss changes everything, grieving a loved one is debilitating, and the loss of a relationship really weighs on the heart. At that moment, we feel that everything is over, it’s too much to bear.

It’s not until much time has passed that the clouds can lift and we can start to see life in a different light. Hope comes back stronger and we feel like we will be okay, we can keep moving forward and tackle anything in the way.

Transformation

Although we never forget. Time has way of healing and making things feel less intense. It’s sad to see our loved ones going through a rough time, but it’s a beautiful thing to witness others who were deeply sad or upset become whole again. A smile returns to their face, and they have picked up and started moving forward.

Witnessing this transformation in life is a beautiful thing. It shows how strong the human mind is, and how much strength we all have as human beings even throughout our darkest days.

A Little Motivation 

Think of all that you’ve been through in life and here you are! You’ve made it. Sure, it wasn’t easy, but you did it. Life is ever-changing, we will have many highs and lows. Each time we go through something stressful, devastating, or traumatizing, we grow that much stronger. We realize that we have what it takes to pull through.

In closing, I leave you with a quote that I have always found to be encouraging and true:

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

   -John Lennon

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The Path of Redirection

Can you recall a time when you wanted something so badly, but it never happened? A time when you wanted A, but you got B? Maybe you were upset and mad at the world for a while and wondering why me?

For the most part, we generally have a direction that we want to go in life. We have a path that we want to take, dreams, goals, and aspirations.

Life will take us on many journeys and they won’t always be the ones that we expect or hope for. While this sounds like a negative outcome, it can end up being the most beautiful thing ever.

A Different Path

The path of redirection may be what we least expect or hope for as we navigate through life. We have this vision for our lives, and we anticipate most of it happening to us as we strive and work hard every day to create the lives that we want.

Being taken off of the path that we were originally on can be discouraging, frustrating, and can leave us questioning so much about ourselves and our lives.

Fate

We all have our own beliefs about life. I believe that we all have a destiny, a designed path that we are to be on. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and somehow, we all end up right where we should be when the time is right.

Our path is unique to us. Traveling down the path of redirection can put us farther away from where we want to be. What we may not realize is that this redirection may lead us to our desires despite it feeling like a huge curveball.

Life Experiences 

There have been so many times in my life when I’ve been redirected. I remember feeling frustrated and lost. I couldn’t understand why I was being taken so far away from what I wanted.

As time moved forward, things started slowly falling into place. Many of the times the desired outcome was reached even if it was the complete opposite way of how I expected it to be. Many of the redirections in my life became some of my biggest blessings!

The Puzzle of Life

Have you ever noticed that our experiences in life fit together like a puzzle? Everything connects to something else as we march on.

Each piece fits together so perfectly. Each piece is important as it becomes a part of the larger picture.

The next time that you find yourself being redirected, hold onto hope that it might be for the best and that the biggest blessing might be just around the corner!

A Coworker’s Comment Changed My Life

We know how powerful words are. They stick with us for many years if not for a lifetime. Good or bad, they often stay etched in our minds.

Sometimes people don’t realize how important their words are to others. They don’t realize the difference that they are making.

An Observation 

When I was in my early twenties, I was very extroverted, unlike today. I wanted to talk with anyone and everyone. I enjoyed learning about others, sharing stories, and helping other people.

I spent much of my day asking others how they were doing, supporting others, offering advice, or lending a hand. To me, it was just because it was in my nature, but a coworker of mine made a comment to me one day that truly changed my life. She said, “I noticed that you always seem to be extending your energy outwards.”

I still remember these words plain as day. I was taken aback by the comment, and I didn’t quite know what she meant, but when I realized that she was right, my world changed.

Feelings 

I have always been the anxious type and to get rid of some of the nervous energy, I sometimes became a chatterbox or would keep “searching” for something or someone that could bring me peace. All of the energy projected outwards was a way to try to discover myself, as I was feeling lost and out of place. I was searching in the wrong area, I needed to turn that energy inward.

I naturally love to care for other people, but I was doing it in a way that never allowed me to get in touch with myself. I tried to find myself in others and I was never found.

I took these words to heart thinking that my coworker was onto something and sure enough, she was.

Improvement 

I was still me; I still had a huge passion for the people in my life, but I learned to balance all of this energy. I made sure to have energy for those that I loved and energy for me.

I started taking great steps to allow myself to feel more stable and centered. I took long walks in nature, did meditation, painted, and did arts and crafts. I enjoyed writing, cooking, photography, and I practiced mindfulness.

I became aware and in tune with myself. I made sure to check in with myself and how I was feeling from time to time. I paid attention to the breath that flowed in and out of my body. Instead of feeling constantly depleted, there was energy for others as well as myself. It was like an awakening, and I owed it all to my coworker.

Power

We hold the power to change our own lives and each other’s lives. Words are so powerful, listening is also powerful, as is being open to receive and incorporate such words.

I still think about these words today. My coworker made my life so much easier by simply noticing and sharing an observation.

My College Major Changed Me

I have been out of college for many years now, but I can tell you one thing, the major that I choose has changed my life.

I’d like to say that it has changed me for the better, however, it has also changed me for the worse.

Background

Once I graduated high school, I was not certain which path I wanted to take in terms of a college major. I was always told to just feel each subject out and see which one that I was drawn to, it sounded easy and like great advice and it ended up being just that!

I had many classes that I thoroughly enjoyed. I would say that my top two subjects were Psychology and English. I loved both for different reasons. Given the nature of the job that I wanted to pursue at the time and an extreme interest and passion mine, I chose to major in Psychology. Little did I know, it would change the way that I saw myself and the world around me forever.

My Love

Psychology drew me in because I have always been fascinated with the human mind and finding out why people behave the way that they do. We are all born as blank slates, yet we all develop into very different beings, that is fascinating to me!

As I took many Psychology courses over the years, I learned so much about myself and the world around me. I was able to understand why I had become the person that I was and how the brain works and responds to people and life situations. I was able to understand others better with this newfound knowledge and empathy that came with it.

It was almost as though Psychology was the book of life, it felt as if this subject held all of the answers to the complexity of the human mind and behavior. I was captivated!

The Downside

As with many things in life, there are usually positives and negatives. I adore Psychology and all that it entails, but learning this subject to the extent that I did was detrimental to me in some ways.

Years after I graduated from college, I noticed that my anxiety was much worse than it usually had been. I have dealt with extreme anxiety since I was very little. I began to realize that the way that we are taught this subject and the ways that they have us learning the material truly changed the way that my brain responded to life and even to myself.

In Psychology, we were taught to analyze, analyze, and analyze some more. We were taught to observe very carefully and taught to look at people, situations, and ultimately life in many different ways. Yes, this sounds like a great thing and it is to an extent, but it became a constant in my life.

Taking Over

I found myself analyzing my life, thoughts, and behavior to an extreme. Psychology teaches you that there is a reason behind everything and that includes people’s actions. Therefore, I was always hunting for reasons and the meaning behind everything.

I started seeing life in many different aspects. I started viewing other people very differently, I was so curious as to why and how people behaved the way they did. It seemed as though I was always searching for information to complete my analysis and observations.

I wasn’t comfortable with this new way of viewing life. I understand that these are all necessary and helpful skills to have, especially if one is to become a therapist or social worker for example, however for me, it was overpowering, and I wasn’t able to separate myself from it.

Question

I know several of you talented individuals are in the field of Psychology. For those of you that are therapists, social workers, or even those that majored in Psychology as well, did you ever notice a drastic change in the way that you viewed life and other people after studying Psychology?

Closing

This subject was and still is my favorite subject of all time. I truly adore it and there is always so much to learn and gain. There are many times that I wish that my mind wasn’t so “stuck” in Psychology mode, but given this, I still would have chosen to major in this field.

It’s pretty amazing to me that what we expose ourselves to in our life truly does have a tremendous impact on us. Just a little food for thought as you go about your day. Surround yourself with good people and try to live life the best that you can, we are like sponges are we are truly changed by what we experience for better or for worse.

You Can Run, but You Can’t Hide

I am sure that most of us have been in a situation where we were unhappy with life. Maybe we didn’t like our jobs, were stuck in a relationship that we didn’t see going anywhere, or possibly we didn’t like our social circle because we felt as if we didn’t belong.

For those of you that were in situations like these, how did it make you feel? What was your first instinct telling you how to handle the situation?

Natural Response

One of the reactions when faced when a tough situation in life is to flee. It goes back to the fight-or-flight response in Psychology. As we experience hardship, we either tend to stay and fight, or our adrenaline starts to rush, and we flee to escape the perceived threat.

We want to flee to avoid having to feel negative emotions, we flee as a way of avoiding experiences, even avoiding ourselves.

Question for You

Think of a time when you felt so upset and discouraged that you wanted to get up right then and there and leave. You wanted to pack up your office because you couldn’t stand your job anymore, you wanted to run away and hide from your significant other because you felt that you two grew apart instead of together. Think of a time when you felt like an outsider, that even with friends around, you still felt alone in this world. Did you flee?

Many of you did and that is a normal response. Even though it’s normal, it may not be the best way to approach these situations because instead of facing the issue and growing from it, we chose to run away. It felt right at the time, maybe even taking off some of the anxiety, but what ended up happening?

Noticeable Patterns

After we ran from the situation, we felt much better, but as time goes on, the past usually comes back to haunt us.

The key is to look at the issue at hand and see where you can learn from it. If there is some sort of inner conflict, then these types of situations that make us want to flee can give us great insight into what we can improve on.

Communication

Much of life and life’s problems revolve around communication or lack thereof. Sometimes we may feel as though we do not have the strength, or even the skills to solve what is happening to us, so we just decide to flee to make our problems instantly disappear.

I have learned this the hard way, the problems seem to have magically disappeared until, weeks, months, or years later they resurface again because they were not addressed the first time.

Try This

Those situations that make you feel like you would just rather run away than deal with it can be our greatest teachers. Try to live more authentically and see how you can fix your life circumstances. Work within yourself to discover that you have the strength and power to face any issue head-on.

I want to make an important note that in certain situations, we absolutely must flee. Those situations include those that affect our safety etc.

The Takeaway

Life tends to find us, we can move to a different state, change jobs, or even hunt for that “perfect” someone, but what we have not corrected from our past will eventually show up in our future. We may flee, but life follows. We are still the same person inside.

I believe that life is one big test and that we are here to learn many lessons. The lessons will keep repeating themselves over and over until we have learned how to master them. Pay attention to the things that make you want to run and hide, address them so that you have power over them!