Leave What Cannot Be Undone

How many things are you currently worried about that cannot be changed? For many of us, it is quite a few things. We may be dwelling on a decision that we made, or regret some of our past behaviors. As hard as it is to not worry, analyze, and overthink the past, it is so necessary for our well-being and to be able to move forward.

As much as we may wish, our energy both physically and mentally is not infinite. We must take great care to preserve our energy and save it for things in our lives that truly require every bit of energy that we have left.

When we worry about things that happened in the past, we are using our precious energy on something that truly cannot be changed, it cannot be undone. I’m sure that you can count many times that you have said something like “I wish I didn’t leave my job,” or” I wish that I could go back in time and redo a certain relationship.”

Living in the Past

When we live in the past instead of the present, we are robbing ourselves of energy that we could be taking to solve problems and deal with life in the here and now. The past cannot be changed, what is done is done and I know that is very hard to accept sometimes but accepting that fact and also being able to leave what cannot be undone in the past is so important.

We could spend countless hours of our lives thinking we could have, would have, should have and although it can be a stress-reliever to overthink and analyze these thoughts, it serves us no purpose, it does not keep us from moving forward, it does not allow us to make good decisions now that will shape our more desired future.

Often, I find myself thinking of the past, how I would change certain things about it, and how I would have done things differently, yet if I spend all of my energy focusing on what I cannot change, I am wasting precious moments of my life where I can make a difference. As hard as it is, leave the past in the past. It is a part of you, but it does not define you, nor does it deserve any energy from you.

My Best Advice

Worrying about something that you can’t change is very common human behavior, however, it will get you nowhere. When you find yourself slipping into thinking about things that you are not able to change, then acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way and then let it go. Remind yourself that you are focusing on working towards things in your life that you currently have the power to influence.

Whatever you are worrying about today, know that things tend to happen for a reason, things happen for life to fall into place, and things happen for you to grow as a person, whatever you are worrying about today, know that the past is in the past and the present needs your attention. Though difficult, may this be a gentle reminder to put your thoughts, time, and energy into what you can control. Many blessings to you all!

Dreading Something? Read This

There are many things in life that we go through. Some good, some bad, and some in-between. As human beings, we deal with many different emotions as we process the world around us.

One of the many uncomfortable emotions is dread. In other words, when we feel anxious or worried, it can take a toll on us and prevent us from living our best life. It can even impact how we view the world and the decisions that we make.

Are You Dreading Something?

You may be dreading an upcoming meeting, long-distance travel for a wedding, a doctor’s appointment, a difficult conversation with a loved one, or a project that you are due to start at work. Whatever it may be, feeling dread for a certain date or event to come around is a feeling that is tough to sit with.

As with many feelings, there are ways to help minimize the feeling of dread. There are ways that we can look at the feeling and the situations that evoke it to help us in life.

What Can We Do to Minimize Feeling Dread?

  • We can realize that feeling dread is just a feeling no matter how uncomfortable it is. We can sit with it, recognize it, acknowledge that it’s there, and then try to let it float away. A thought is just a thought, don’t give it too much power.
  • Analyze the situation. What could be the worst that happens if you have that conversation attend that meeting, and go to the doctor? This way you can see what is the worst that could happen. Often seeing this side can help minimize anxieties as we realize it isn’t as bad as it seems in our heads.
  • Look at the positives that could come from this situation. You might feel relief, and empowerment, you may feel stronger for having conquered your fear. You never know what you might discover or learn about yourself!

What To Remember

Oftentimes, the very thing that we have been dreading for days, weeks, months, or even longer ends up being so much better than we expected. Much of our worry and anxiety comes from things that haven’t happened yet, so the anticipation of an event or upcoming date on the calendar can send our minds spinning.

If you are dreading something that is coming up, as hard as it is, remember that it will pass. It may be uncomfortable and feel like a burden, but you will get through it, and it will pass just as everything else that you have gone through in life. Here is a little motivation to get you through a trying time, you can do this!

Something Else to Chase

Growing up, I was always the kind of girl that loved to make others laugh and smile. I wanted to see everyone happy, and I would do almost anything to make that happen. Ironically, fast-forward to my teenage years and I was relying on others to make me happy.

As I got older, especially as a teenage girl, I started to lack self-esteem, a reality that a lot of teenagers face. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, but I knew that I didn’t like the feeling and I was determined to make it disappear.

I started trying to make friends with other people hoping that would help me with my self-esteem. I started looking for ways that other people could bring me happiness because I couldn’t seem to find it myself.

At one point, I almost felt reliant on other people to feel any sort of peace. I felt like I needed constant contact from my friends. I would start feeling anxious and sad when I was away from my loved ones. I truly felt at that point in my life that my happiness depended on the people around me.

I felt like a chaser. Sometimes people were there and sometimes not.
My mood would fluctuate according to this, and I was tired of relying on this unpredictable way of feeling peace.

When I became older, I was wiser and able to realize that happiness and self-worth need to come from within. While other people do bring lots of joy, it needs to start from the inside. True happiness cannot be obtained if you aren’t happy when you look in the mirror.

With this new knowledge, I started doing everything that I could to promote my happiness and sense of well-being. I started a gratitude journal, I started painting and writing, and I found other ways that made me happy like nature walks. I looked at myself in the mirror every morning and said one thing that I liked about myself. I watched my self-esteem and happiness soar.

It is natural to look to others for happiness and a boost of confidence but finding that within yourself is the greatest gift and will help you see the world around you in a different light. You will feel more in control of your well-being. I used to chase people and now I chase my dreams and goals!

Right in Front of You

I was watching my cousin’s children playing one morning. They went from playing ball to reading books, to wanting to color. I sat them down with some paper and crayons and sat observing them draw whatever their imagination was telling them to.

The crayons were a large variety of beautiful colors. They lay spread out on the table. One of the children, who we will call Zachary, had an orange crayon that he was coloring with, the other child, who we will call Joseph, had picked up a blue crayon, but when he saw the orange one, he of course wanted that one instead.

Next, I noticed something interesting. Joseph put down his blue crayon and sat there with his paper in front of him. I asked him what he needed and why he stopped coloring, and he then replied that it was “because he was waiting for the orange crayon.”

Zachary was coloring away with his orange crayon and Joseph was left staring and waiting for his turn. All of these beautiful colors surrounded him, but he was focused on just one and because of that, he missed out on enjoying all of the other colors that were sitting right in front of him.

We spend so much time looking towards the future, or waiting around for things that we want, that we end up missing what is right in front of us. Joseph could have been having an amazing time coloring with the many vivid crayons that lay on the table. Instead of having fun and enjoying the moment, he chose to sit back and wait for Zachary’s orange crayon. In the meantime, he was missing out on a lot of fun.

Instead of sitting and waiting for that orange crayon as little Joseph did, use all of the beautiful crayons around you to have fun and find joy all the while waiting for the orange crayon to come along. Don’t let the appeal of one thing make you miss something special, something right before your very eyes.

We can apply this situation to our everyday lives. We so often look ahead for what we want instead of seeing what is right there in front of us. We are missing joy, opportunities, and life unfolding right before us!

Who Was That in My Dream?

Dreams have always fascinated me; I have even gone as far as trying to decode my dreams. Amazingly, we can go to sleep and be fully unaware of our surroundings. We then sometimes hit a dreamlike state that ends up feeling like we are awake and going through the motions, yet we are not.

Some people that I know cannot recall any dreams that they have. I think that is very interesting considering I dream very often and most of my dreams I can recall when I wake up. Some dreams seem obvious, we dream about things that we have heard throughout our day or things that are on our minds. Some dreams are completely out of nowhere. There’s one thing about certain dreams that has me thinking.

When we have dreams that have other people in them, their personalities and features are so detailed. We can feel their emotions and it feels like we are right there with them as we dream. Their facial features are very vivid just as if we were talking face to face in our waking life. My biggest question about this is who are these people in our dreams?

How can our minds create an entire human being with vivid features and a personality to boot? Who are these individuals that occupy our minds at night? It amazes me that we can think up an entire person in our dreams. Are these people from our pasts when we were younger? Maybe they are people that we have seen out in public somewhere without being fully conscious of it. Are these newly created beings just figments of our imagination?

As you can see, I am a very deep thinker who is always curious about the world that surrounds me. I thrive on learning, and I love when I learn something new, or when I can research something to learn more. What are your thoughts on these mystery humans? I would love to hear them!