Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

Love is in the Air

With Valentine’s Day approaching this Thursday, I felt the urge to write a blog about love. This blog holds true not only on Valentine’s Day, but throughout the whole year. Some of us are in brand new relationships, others have been married for years, some of us might be in tricky love situations, and some will be single. No matter your status on Valentine’s Day, please remember that sharing love should not only be set aside for a special day, it should be something practiced daily.

We as human beings have so much power and influence to change the world one act of kindness at a time. We often go throughout our day not realizing the positive impact that we have made on other’s lives. That smile that you gave someone in the store could be the reason why someone won’t give up on life, something small like holding the door open for someone, or helping someone cross the street could be all it takes to restore someone’s faith in humanity. No act of kindness is too small. We tend to forget the impact that our actions have on others. Sadly, in today’s society, respect and true genuineness are few and far between making kindness and love an even more precious gem.

The beautiful thing is that loving someone and sharing kindness don’t have to cost a thing. Sure, we can give gifts, or pay for someone’s dinner, but the simple kind of love requires nothing but to be given. A hug, a smile, a kind word costs absolutely nothing, yet what is reaped is beyond any sort of payment, it’s truly priceless. The feeling of having another individual value you and love you as a person is such a beautiful thing. This can be any sort of relationship…family, friendships, lovers, etc. A tight hug can offer so much comfort and acceptance. A smile gives another human being a feeling of approval and welcoming. Simply saying a few kind words like “please” and “thank you,” or giving a sincere compliment can bring two people closer and do wonders for the soul.

As Valentine’s Day approaches us this week, please be reminded how much you as a human being add value to the world and the lives around you. Your spirit, your beautiful soul, your love, is meant to be shared to bring light into this world. Slowly by slowly we can all make a difference today and everyday, for in the end love conquers all!