My Everything Box

I have a little box that I have had for many years. It houses the most random things. Inside are a bunch of papers and a few photos that didn’t make it into albums. This box has receipts, pictures, medical information, and copies of bills.

I try to clean this box out every year so that it doesn’t accumulate, however, it’s been almost three years since I have done so. The box was starting to overflow and yesterday, I knew it was time for some spring cleaning.

Thoughts

I pulled out everything in my box and started going through each of the contents one by one. I made three piles. One to shred, one pile for trash, and one pile to put back into my box. As I was going through everything, I ended up coming across a few surprises. I found my learner’s permit when I was first learning how to drive. This was decades ago! I also found an award that I had gotten at my old job. As I kept looking, I found some paperwork for past surgeries and medical tests that I have had, it made me emotional seeing all of these things at once.

I held onto the important and special things, and I put aside any bill stubs, etc. that were a year old for shredding. My heart was feeling heavy. I have a habit of holding onto things that I don’t need. I always think, “what if I need this one day?” I haven’t needed anything yet, it doesn’t mean that I won’t, but the odds are small! This is why I will start to minimalize what I put into my everything box.

All Done!

Once I was finished with the task, I felt so much lighter. The box was 1/3 as full as it was before, and it felt great to get organized and cleaned out. Clutter in our lives affects us mentally. It is great to do a little spring cleaning now and then. This can be true of life itself.

Holding onto things makes us feel safe, but it can also make us feel weighed down. Letting go is hard to do, but it can make room for new things and make us feel free!

Advertisement

The Year That I Found the Golden Egg

Growing up, the holidays were always held at my beloved grandparents’ house. All of us would travel to their house for good food and great company. I have so many beautiful memories of celebrating the holidays with them.

Every Easter, my sister and I would wear our Easter dresses to Church mass and then mom and dad would take us to our grandparents’ house for lunch and a celebration. We would start Easter by talking and socializing with each other, then we would gather around the large family table full of food. There were so many of us that we actually had to sit in three different rooms while we were eating. I sure do miss those days.

Each family would bring a dish or dessert to share. I remember rice crispy treats, chocolate egg candies, jelly eggs, pasta salad, ham, greens, deviled eggs, and potato salad to name a few. After lunch, it was time for the Easter egg hunt!

Hunting for Eggs

Before the egg hunt started, my aunt announced that for that particular year, there was going to be a large golden egg filled with extra treats and some money. I remember glowing with the thought of finding the golden egg, but I knew the odds were so small because there were so many of us. We all grabbed a bag and headed outside to see how many eggs we could find and what kind of goodies and surprises were inside. My eye was on the prize, but I carried on knowing most likely it wasn’t going to be me. We found so many eggs that day. Some were so well hidden that it really took a very close look to find them.

I kept walking around the grass and finding eggs. One by one, I put them in my basket and kept walking in hopes to find that special golden egg. I found all of the colors in the rainbow but not the golden egg. I looked behind a little tree and there nestled behind its branches was…the Golden Egg! I remember being so surprised that I had actually found it. The odds were so small, and I just wasn’t thinking that it was going to be me. I remember smiling from ear to ear and being overjoyed that I had found this special little prize! Besides the extra goodies inside, I didn’t think too deeply about finding them, but today as an adult, my reflection on this memory has taught me three things.

  • To win, you have to play. It sounds simple, but had I not even gone out looking for eggs, I wouldn’t have found the special one at all
  •  Even when the odds are against you and you think that there is a slim chance of getting what you desire or seek to find, you can! There is always that hope. It may or may not work out, but at least you tried. One never knows what might happen just by trying
  •  Things happen when we least expect them! I was going about my day collecting multi-colored eggs when BAM! I found the golden one

Life

When the odds are against you in life, don’t give up. Keep going and keep trying. You never know what you might find if you try. Something beautiful and totally unexpected might be just around the corner!

I Looked for True Love

When we were young, we had thoughts of how our lives would pan out. Maybe we dreamed of college, a job, marriage, and a family. Possibly we wanted to travel the world and start our own business.

Whatever our goals and plans were, we probably didn’t see foresee that some of our plans wouldn’t happen or would happen in ways that we never expected.

My Dream

As a young girl, I dreamed of getting married and starting a family. Being a mom was all that I had ever wanted, and I am incredibly thankful to be one today. Finding true love was another one. This is where I pause.

I have always been pretty unlucky in love. I have found myself in the oddest and most uncomfortable situations and met some very ungenuine people. I have my faults too and I am working on them, I truly feel that it takes two to make a relationship work.

My biggest fault is that I don’t fully communicate my thoughts and feelings. I would rather save someone’s feelings, but in the end, it only makes things much worse.

The Old Saying

They say that you find love when you aren’t looking. They say that love will find you at the right time. I believe both of these to be true. No matter the stress and impatient feelings, I know that timing is everything and I believe that what is meant to be will always find its way.

When I was a few years younger than I am now, I would constantly look for love. Where was my soulmate? Where was the person that was created to be with me? Why is he so hard to find? Thoughts of how unlucky I was in love never left my mind.

I looked for love everywhere. I looked at Church, in the grocery store, walking through the neighborhood, and at the gym, I even turned to online dating. I met some people here and there, but it never moved past the first few dates or so. We just weren’t a match and I had to be okay with that. Many times, I was looking for something more than the other person was. I wanted a serious relationship; I wasn’t looking for anything casual.

A Realization 

One day it hit me why some of my relationships didn’t work out, why “the one” hasn’t shown himself to me. One day it hit me why love didn’t find me no matter how hard I tried. There was one simple yet complicated answer. I had to love myself first.

I spent many years looking for someone to make me whole and complete me. I looked high and low for someone who I could spend my life with. Someone who would genuinely love me for who I am, faults and all. That person doesn’t exist, it is up to me to feel whole and complete. A partner can only add to the base that is already there. In my case, there wasn’t much of a base.

I knew that I had to make some changes. I had to love myself so that I could fully give myself to someone else. I just started working on this several months ago. I haven’t made as much progress as I had hoped, but slowly I am trying to change that. I speak positive affirmations as I look in the mirror, I try to forgive myself and not be so hard on myself.

I am doing the best that I can. I am human, I have faults and I will never be anywhere close to perfect, but I still deserve to love myself to the fullest. It’s a hard task, but it’s very important to me. I hope that one day, loving myself first will create a foundation that true love can build on.

Make it Right

Is there something that you have on your conscience? Is there a habit that you have that weighs on you because you can’t seem to make a change that could lead to a happier life?

As we go through life, we accumulate many experiences. These memories stay etched in our minds. Some situations that we have encountered in life leave us with unpleasant memories. Maybe it was a relationship with someone, the way that we left an old job, or maybe we have a habit of not being honest with ourselves and it leaves us feeling angry and disconnected.

Observations

In my life lately, I have been hyperaware of what causes me to feel anything unpleasant. I note what makes me feel angry, hurt, sad, and confused. As human beings, we don’t like the feeling of pain and unhappiness and we usually will go to great lengths to make sure that we stay feeling content.

For everything that makes me upset, I try to “make it right,” so that it has no more room in my head or my heart. I observe my thoughts and what seems to weigh on me the most. I try to look at a particular trigger or situation from every angle.

If the remedy lies in someone else’s hands, then it can be a little more difficult, but we can make peace with ourselves and offer forgiveness. If we have done something out of character and it is weighing on us, we can apologize and right our wrongs so that we can let it go from our conscience.

Lately

I noticed that as I try to make things right that cause me pain, a huge weight is lifted off of me. Even if I make them right in my own mind or heart, it offers me freedom and peace. It gives me hope that I can approach future situations and people in my life in a different manner.

Much of what we go through in life can be much less stressful with a more helpful mindset. If we can stop taking things too personally (I am so guilty of this) and if we can forgive others and forgive ours, life could be a little bit easier. As I work on addressing things in my life that don’t serve me or make me happy, I realize that my mindset is everything.

Forgiveness and Apologies

To my ex who caused me a lot of pain, I forgive you and I also apologize for hurting you with my lack of communication. To the person who cut me off abruptly while driving, I forgive you because I don’t know what you are going through, it isn’t personal, because you don’t even know me. To my old friend who ghosted me, the pain is real. I would love to know why, but I will have to create peace in my own heart. To the friend that I hurt unintentionally, I am forever sorry, and I should have handled things better.

Life is hard enough, if there is any part of it that we can make easier, it helps a lot! Think of things that are currently weighing you down and see if there is any way that you can make these situations “right.” Easier said than done, but sometimes all it takes is an apology or forgiveness. We can feel so much lighter!

The Problem with an Idle Mind

In my life, I have gone through several periods where I was not working, and I spent most of my time at home secluded from the outside world. These times occurred during a serious illness that I had and also when I was in-between jobs.

I remember clearly when the four walls around me were my best friends. I spent day and night at home. My favorite thing to do was watch TV, I wanted to get lost in someone else’s reality. Being on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket was all that I wanted to do. I had family and friends around, but I craved being alone…even though it wasn’t good for me.

Memories

I remember having way too much time to think. I recall hearing my friends talk about a long day at work, or not being able to see my loved ones very much because they were busy working and with their families. There I was with nothing but time on my hands. There I sat with a very idle mind.

A mind that is not busy can get one in so much trouble. We can invent problems that are not even there. I remember replaying a lot of events and conversations in my past. I remember wanting to redo parts of my life. I would analyze everything, and I found my mind wandering to places that I didn’t want to go. It can truly be detrimental to be alone with your thoughts. Too much idle time can cause stress and negative emotions.

Today

Fast-forward to today. I am a busy mom with young children. I have a lot of responsibilities and my schedule is jam-packed every day. From sunup to sundown, there is something to do with hardly any alone time or downtime in between. It’s funny how life can change like that. In the blink of an eye, situations and life circumstances can change drastically.

Nowadays, I don’t really have much time to think. I am constantly focused on what I need to do at any given moment. I am an overthinker and a deep thinker. I often get lost in brief moments of thought, but I can’t stay there for long. Late night and early morning are my moments of reflection.

Being busy has downsides, it can cause one to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. We strive for a delicate balance that we don’t often find. Given the downsides to being busy, there are some perks that I have found to be very helpful.

The Opposite 

A busy mind doesn’t have much room to wander and think. It doesn’t have time to think of past regrets, failed relationships, and all of the “what ifs.” A busy mind has less of a chance to become astray.

There is currently a lot going on in my life at the moment and the other day, I went out and spent some fun quality time with my family. The daily stresses and worries didn’t even cross my mind. Of course, they have come up again in thought, but while I was out and busy, all that I was focused on was my family and all of the fun that we were having. This is why staying busy in some way is so important!