A Childhood Experiment Taught Me A Lesson

Growing up, my sister and I were always into something. We loved creative play and we spent most of our days either inside using our imagination or outside soaking up nature and all that it had to offer. We had many toys, electronics, and games, but somehow, we always turned to creative play. We wanted to make up our own games and we thrived on the newness of what we came up with.

Most of the time, our play revolved around the toys that we had and sometimes items that were lying around the house. We weren’t children that ever really got bored, there was always something to do or create, and our minds never stopped wondering.

The Importance of Money

My parents taught my sister and I from a young age to save money in our piggy banks. We knew that we could use some of the money for candy or toys, but that we should save most of it. My parents instilled the importance of saving money from a young age.

I remember all of the times that we tried to make money for fun as many kids do. There were lemonade stands, yard sales, and even helping to pet sit. Our minds were always turning to see what we could come up with next.

An Idea!

I cannot remember whose idea it was because we were so young, but we had this great idea to see if we could “trick” the tooth fairy into leaving us money. We had recently lost teeth and thought that it was amazing that we were able to get money in return. No other teeth were loose, so we thought that we would make some! Yes, you read that right, we wanted to make some teeth and put them under our pillow to see if the tooth fairy would bring us money.

We searched around the house to find the perfect thing to use. After a while, it dawned on us that we could use a bar of soap to make “teeth!” Kids sure have vivid and creative imaginations. We got a bar of white soap and started carving away with smiles on our faces. We talked with such excitement as we made several teeth to lay under our pillow. We were thrilled with the way that they turned out. They looked so real; we eagerly showed our parents and told them the plan.

Nightfall

The day had come to a close as night fell. My sister and I put the “teeth” under our pillows and went to bed so excited to see if the tooth fairy was going to notice if the teeth were real or not. We couldn’t wait for the morning to arrive!

Morning came and my sister and I were giddy with excitement to see if we had been left any money under our pillows. We peeked under the pillows and to our surprise, there was no money! The only thing that was staring back at us were the teeth that we made out of soap. We were bummed!

Life Lesson Learned

Kids are naturally curious about the world. They love to experiment; this is how they learn! I do remember feeling guilty the next morning. I felt bad that we had tried to trick the tooth fairy. We realized that when she didn’t give us money, we were not given it because we were not “honest.” We didn’t lose any teeth; they were fake teeth. Yes, striving to make money creatively is wonderful, but it needs to be done honestly. I learned that rewards come by doing things the right way. Deceit does not come with a reward. Everything that we earn should be done the honest way.

My sister and I were too young to try this experiment maliciously. We always had fun being creative and experimenting as young kids do, but at least for me, it really made me sit back and think. I could directly relate the lack of money under my pillow to not being truthful. Our curiosity was the drive in this experiment, the result was not what we had hoped for, but it was a learning experience.

As we age, there are many different experiments that we might try. We are all learning about life as we go. Along the way, we realize that life is one big experiment and test. We learn a little bit more about ourselves and the world around us every day.

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Walking on Eggshells

Some of you may know my goal for this year is to be authentic and not be afraid to just be me. In most ways, I feel like I am doing better in this area, and in few ways, I feel like I am slipping back into my same old patterns.

Thankfully, I know what stops me from being authentic, but sadly I don’t know how to work through it. The two things that stop me the most are fear of rejection and being perceived incorrectly.

Experiences

As we go through life, we accumulate many different experiences, some good, and some bad, but they all shape us in some way. These experiences become part of us and it’s hard to shake. Our beliefs and thought patterns are tied closely to what we have gone through in life.

I have been guilty of this too, but I feel that we live in a world that is full of judgment and people making assumptions. Oftentimes we see a person, or a situation and we have instant thoughts that come to mind. This is natural, we automatically think of many things when we see something. Much of the time, our perceived view of a person or situation couldn’t be farther from the truth. This is why looks are deceiving.

There have been times when I could have put money on a situation that was unfolding, or that I knew something about someone. I can tell you that I was floored many times by how wrong I was. As ironic as it is, most things in life are not what they seem.

My Thought Process

I always feel the need to censor my thoughts and actions. That I need to go through the motions in my head before I allow them to be free. I try to examine how each thought or action could be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I know that much of this is my anxiety talking, but a lot of it is due to unfortunate circumstances and past experiences.

I feel like trusting in today’s world is very minimal. We place trust in people every day without realizing it. When we drive a car, we are placing trust in the other drivers being responsible and safe while sharing the road with us. We trust that when we go to the store someone will be there to help us find what we are looking for and serve as a cashier when we are ready to check out.

When it comes to true trust as in relationships, I believe that many of us have trust issues due to our pasts. I feel like it takes a lot for someone to trust someone else, myself included. Past hurts spill over into our future and it’s hard to start over with a blank slate even though everyone deserves that chance to prove themselves as trustworthy.

Life Lessons

One thing that I learned the hard way is that one has to be careful when interacting with others. There are many instances where people perceive what is happening as something that it is not. Sometimes people take actions the wrong way. It’s at no fault of their own, everyone perceives things differently, however, it can make for a very difficult situation.

Even though I am much more introverted than I used to be, I have a very friendly personality and I love to talk and engage with other people. You can usually find me smiling even when that smile is covering up the pain. People take my laughter, smiles, and genuine concern for others as me flirting with them or being interested in them in some way. Of course, this is great if this is the case, but I often find it heartbreaking for me because I feel that I can’t be myself with others without creating an awkward situation. Someone always sees my personality as a step further than it really is.

Baby Steps

Sometimes I feel like I need to scale back, hide, repress, and not put my true self out there. Part of me wants to clam up because I never want someone to see me in the wrong light. I strive every day to be seen as the genuine and trustworthy person that I am.

In the end, I know that one is not supposed to care what others think because we know what is in our hearts and our minds. We know our intentions and it’s not up to us to make sure that everyone is on the same page. We all see things differently and that’s where open communication comes in.

These feelings leave me walking on eggshells daily, but I won’t give up. I won’t allow fear to hold me back. I have the power in me to take control of a situation instead of it controlling me. Life has enough stress, there’s no need to add to it! I am not responsible for other people’s thoughts or actions, only my own. I aspire to live a life where I don’t have to rehearse everything. One baby step at a time, I will learn to just be me…to just be.

Take the Compliment

What is your first response when someone compliments you? Do you take it and say, “thank you?”, shrug it off, or maybe you are like me, and you’re truly grateful for it, but you negate it. Why would one negate it? It is because the receiver may not always believe the compliment to be true. This can be detrimental!

When someone compliments us, most of the time they are being honest and genuine. Most people will not take the time to compliment someone just for kicks. There was something that they felt was special about you and they wanted to let you know. Compliments are a great way to break the ice and bond with another person. We all love to hear a good word about ourselves, it makes us feel great inside.

Examples

Try to imagine yourself in the following scenario. Picture yourself as both the giver and the receiver of the compliment:

Mark: “I really love your writing; you are very talented.”

Travis: “Thank you, but it’s nothing special, I am really just an average writer.”

I can only speculate about how others feel but given that I have been in this situation on both sides, I know how I felt. Mark is happy to express his love for Travis’ writing, but Travis responds to his compliment by saying that he’s just average. Mark may feel like his feelings have been shot down, or that Travis disagrees with him. Travis may be happy on the inside after hearing the compliment, but he is not letting it build him up, he doesn’t own the compliment and take a moment to make him feel boosted and happy! Both most likely walk away feeling disconnected.

It is hard to take a compliment if we don’t believe it, but if we practice accepting compliments and the kind words that others give us, it can really positively impact us and others. 

Imagine yourself in this scenario now as both the commenter and receiver:

Shelley: “You work really well under pressure; I truly admire that about you.”

Christina: “Oh, thank you so much! That makes me happy, I try hard to stay focused and relaxed.”

Shelley has given a nice and motivating compliment to Christina who graciously accepts! Shelley is feeling so happy that she could positively impact Christina by sharing her feelings and Christina is happy and feeling boosted that her efforts are paying off. Both walk away feeling happy and bonded.

The Mirror Lies

What we see in the mirror isn’t what everyone else sees. We often don’t see ourselves in a bright light like everyone else sees us. We see flaws and failure; they see strength and confidence. I love compliments, I think that most of us do. I don’t always believe the compliment being made about myself, but I am trying very hard not to negate it. I try to own it, to embrace it, to let it bring me and someone else joy.

The next time that you are given a compliment, try to embrace it if you don’t already, and see where that takes you. I am willing to bet that it will leave you feeling confident and lifted!

Finding A Balance

Although balance is extremely important, it is very hard to achieve…at least for me. There are so many things in life that require our time, attention, and devotion. There are so many things that we want and have to do. With 24 hours in a day, it is up to us to manage it all.

Life is all about trying to accomplish what we want to and having time left for ourselves to do whatever makes us happy. Whenever these scales are not balanced, it leaves us feeling unsettled and unhappy. We strive for a happy medium.

Overdoing

I tend to overdo things in my life. I push myself and push myself until I am burned out with no energy left to give. I have a hard time recognizing when I need a break. I get onto autopilot mode and just keep going. Sometimes, I wish that I had 8 legs like our octopus friends. Imagine what we could accomplish!

We give our energy to our families, relationships, work, and our goals. We leave little time for self-care and self-love. We don’t set aside enough time to do the things that we love and that brings us comfort because something always takes precedence. What truly is worth our happiness and health? We need to take this time back!

When All Else Fails

When the plan that you made to get your life back on track and to have that balance that you seek doesn’t work, there’s one thing that I try to remember and that is to PAUSE! Take a moment, a few days, a week, even a month to just pause and give yourself a break. This pause allows you to reevaluate your life and see where changes are needing to be made. There is nothing worth jeopardizing your well-being.

Sure, there will be sacrifices that need to be made and some things in life may have to take the back burner, but it’s all part of the process to a happier you.

“We Are All Just Walking Each Other Home.”

I came across this beautiful quote by Ram Dass. I was in awe of its beauty and how it can represent several meanings. I love quotes, especially ones with a deep meaning. They often awaken something within me and help me see life in a different light. They offer encouragement and are beautiful words to ponder.

I took this quote two different ways, both equally beautiful. Perhaps, others will see this quote and understand it in a different way than I have. That’s what makes life beautiful, we all are working towards something together and see things in many different ways. It truly makes the world go round.

Meanings

The first meaning that I thought of when I saw this quote was that “home” represented Heaven, a place that I feel that we go after we leave our physical body. We are all here on Earth discovering our path to life and learning along the way. We are learning lessons, teaching lessons, and sharing a bit of ourselves with the world around us. In return, we are helping others to do the same. In a sense, every step that we take, every decision that we make, and every time that we help others, we are walking them “home.” We are with them in their life path from the beginning to the end.

The second meaning that I got from this quote was that “home” is regarding our “soul” and “heart.” When we talk and share with others, we are learning about them and helping them learn more about themselves. Often, we can learn even more about ourselves as we encounter different people and situations. In a sense, we are walking each other “home” to our true selves. Our home is a place where we tend to feel loved, secure, and safe.

Interpretation

How do you interpret this quote? This quote speaks volumes and I find it very beautiful. 

Pondering life is one of my favorite things. I like to think deeply about why we are here, what our mission is, and how we all relate to each other. I find it amazing that we are all truly miracles. Just being born is a miracle in itself!