Think of some of your greatest fears, or even a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Does this fear or situation involve having a lack of control?
Some of our greatest fears and worries revolve around feeling out of control. We are scared because we cannot predict how a certain situation will play out, we cannot predict how we will be treated as an individual, and we don’t like the fact that we might experience uncomfortable feelings.
Situations Where We Feel Out of Control
Certain situations make us feel vulnerable and helpless as human beings. Maybe we are going on a date with someone for the very first time and we don’t know how well we will get along with them, if the conversation will be awkward, or if they will accept us for who we are.
We might be headed to a meeting at work, we wonder if we are going to understand the concepts being discussed and if we are going to be able to participate.
There is a neighborhood event coming up and you are nervous to go. You wonder if you will meet other people, you wonder what sort of activities are planned, and if being in a large group of unknown people will make you feel uncomfortable.
We Are Actually in Control
We may feel out of control in many of life’s situations, however, we truly aren’t. We are in control, and we have the power to make life and situations work in our favor.
The date situation, for example, it is up to us how much we disclose, it is up to us if we choose to go on a second date, and we decide to pick a place to meet where both parties feel comfortable.
The meeting at work? It is up to us if we choose to participate in actually speaking, or if we are active listeners.
As for the neighborhood event that we are worrying about. We are the ones that choose whether we go, who we speak with, and how long we stay.
Sometimes we might worry about what other people might say, or if someone will make us feel uncomfortable. This is where the ever-important communication comes in. We have control because we have a voice, we can share how we are feeling, we can choose to leave, we can choose to let someone know that they have crossed the lines, or that we may need some time to open up. We have the power to choose not to speak to anyone at all if we are not ready.
Yes, this may be a very difficult thing to do, but knowing that we have power in a situation can help us tremendously.
Life has its ups and downs certain things will bring out the best and worst in us. We can go through life worrying about the what-ifs, or we can approach life and other people knowing that we are in control. We make choices for our lives, and we set boundaries that we feel comfortable with.
It is important for us to remember that we are not at the mercy of someone else and we make the decisions that we see fit for ourselves.
In time, remembering and practicing control, can help us feel less anxiety. Realizing that we are in control more than we realize helps us have more of an influence over our lives. As the saying goes, life is less about what we go through and more about how we handle it.