Clamming Up

When we are dealing with a major life event, or with very heavy emotions, we typically respond in one of two ways. We either clam up and withdraw, or we seek comfort and support from our loved ones.

There are benefits to both, but typically letting your feelings out in some way is beneficial and can help you understand what you are going through. After processing the event and emotions, then you can try to cope and learn from it. Some of our natural response comes from past experiences and some from our personalities. There are also reasons why we respond one way or another.

For those of us that withdraw, we may be the more introverted type, we might have had experiences in the past where we didn’t feel listened to, or we were judged or bullied. Learning to withdraw and not share comes naturally to us because it’s what we have done in the past and what we find comfort in.

I tend to withdraw from others when stressed and overwhelmed. I am trying my very best to break this cycle because there are so many benefits to being able to openly share what you are going through. It’s very unnatural, but part of growing is facing your fears and trying to rid of past behaviors that no longer serve us.

One thing for sure is that everyone will respond differently. Whatever works best for you strive for that, whether it means withdrawing and preserving your resources, or leaning on others during difficult times.

I think it’s wonderful and I am truly inspired by those who speak their minds and their feelings. I think there is a lot to benefit and learn from it. When we share what is going on with us in our lives, we can release that stress and tension that we hold bottled up, which in turn greatly helps our health both mentally and physically.

While talking with other people about life, we can see that everyone has hopes and struggles, everyone is dealing with something in life, and we are all human. It helps you feel not so alone when you can open up to other individuals. You may even hear the comforting “I thought I was the only one,” “I feel the same way,” or “that has happened to me before.”

I am sure that most of you feel the positive effects of being there for someone that you care about. You are more than happy to lend a hand and ready with a listening ear. As much as you love to help and be there for your loved ones, imagine how they will feel reciprocating the help! Other people want the chance to be there for us as we are for them. Relationships are something that we should strive to balance, they are a mix of giving and taking.

In the end, whatever comforts you the most during difficult times is what you can count on. For those of you like me who wish to change how you respond to stressful life events, I encourage you to express how you are feeling to a trustworthy someone and see how much better it makes you feel! Slowly, but surely, we can release what no longer serves us and adapt to new ways of living as unnatural as they may feel. There is no greater reward than fixing what no longer serves us in life!