Why the Difference?

One of the greatest things in life is the love and support of family and friends. Why do we treat our loved ones so much differently than we treat ourselves? We should make taking care of ourselves mentally and physically our utmost priority. We cannot give much of ourselves to this world if we are not whole.

Most of us are very hard on ourselves, I know that I am. I’m told this over and over again, yet I don’t see it myself.

Imagine that you made a mistake on a project that you are working on at your job. You might tell yourself “I can’t do anything right; I am such a failure.” Flip this situation around. A family member or friend is in the same situation, they just made a huge mistake on a project they were working on. What do you tell them? Would you tell them that they cannot do anything right and that they are a failure? Probably not. Instead, you might tell your friend that they did the best that they could do and that they are only human and it’s natural to make a mistake now and then.

You and your significant other just got into a fight and you start saying to yourself “I am never good at relationships,” you keep telling yourself “I am a terrible communicator.” What if a friend was going through this, what would you tell them? Maybe you would say that they should take some time for themselves to regroup and try to remedy the situation, maybe you would tell your friend that relationships aren’t easy, that constant effort is needed, and this doesn’t make them a bad person.

Do you see the differences in how people typically speak to themselves versus a loved one? One’s internal dialogue is so very important because we start to believe what we tell ourselves. Negative self-talk is very detrimental to us and those that we have a relationship with.

Why is it that we can so easily support the people that we love, but we cannot give that same grace and support to ourselves? Why is it that we can quickly build someone else up, while so easily tearing ourselves apart?

We are so hard on ourselves due to human nature; we know all of our faults and weaknesses and we tend to not have patience with ourselves. We also know about our pasts, and we carry parts of that with us. Whether we like to admit it or not, it does affect our confidence. We like to place other people on a pedestal, while we are the ones that are flawed as we strive to be perfect, something beyond human capability.

The next time that you are dealing with something in life, and you find that you are being hard on yourself remember to stop and ask yourself what you would tell a loved one that was in your exact situation. You give so much kindness, hope, and empathy to others, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.

7 thoughts on “Why the Difference?

  1. You are absolutely right about this, we tend to treat other people so much better than ourselves.. why is that? Too many times we are people pleasers, scared to stay alone because many of the people that surround us cannot take criticism. I honestly stopped being a people pleaser and the worst thing is that my relatives cannot handle criticism, if they ask I will still say what’s on my mind even if they get mad or cannot accept the reality of the situation.

    I learned to be okay alone but still speaking the truth and take care of my mental health. It all starts from within, love yourself, be kind to yourself!

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  2. This is a super important nudge 😊🙏🏻 thank you for writing about this topic. I can relate to this a lot. It was only recently that I realised how mean and cruel I had been with myself my entire life. Having conversations about self-empathy can help us a lot, I believe in that. So thank you for this 🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww I’m glad that you could find it helpful. I am in the same boat as you. It’s a constant reminder to not talk down to myself. Thank you for reading and I’m really glad that you like it. You are amazing ❤

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