How Many Times?

It’s happened to so many of us, you are sitting down focusing on what you are going to say and write, your mind is spinning with words as you come up with a way to present it perfectly, and then, pause, you delete it. If you are like me, this has happened one too many times.


How many times have you started writing a text message only to turn around and delete it? How many times have you spent precious time out of your day to create a blog post only to leave it unpublished? How many times have you bitten your tongue from saying something that you truly wanted to say? My guess is many.


Our thought process, though complex, is very natural. We see or hear something and we have a quick natural response to it inside our heads. When we are having a conversation with someone else, our minds are steadily creating thoughts and branches of thoughts. Your response to what another individual is saying most likely is fairly instantaneous. Your reaction is a true from-the-heart response.


The act of texting someone back and writing a blog post means that you had something that you wanted to say, something that was on your mind or in your heart. This response is authentic and often occurs without prolonged thinking. Whatever you had desired to write was important to you in some way, it had meaning and was genuine. What makes us want to delete something that we believed in and said?


There are many reasons that something we wanted to say will be left unsaid. We might be afraid of judgment, afraid to be vulnerable, worried that someone may disagree, fear rejection, or even that we may hurt someone’s feelings. You started to pour your heart out in a text message that took you several minutes to write just to instantly delete it, you started writing a blog post that will never be seen by another person’s eyes, you don’t reveal 100% of how you truly feel to avoid confrontation with another person.


This type of behavior is natural, yet it is not very positive for our lives. When we have something to say that ends up going unsaid, it puts a barrier between us and those that we love. We are not speaking our minds, which ends up hurting us because we are not truly being who we are. Having to withhold what you want to say is very detrimental to one’s autonomy. Of course, there may be times that we should not speak our minds, especially if it pertains to something that could offend someone. Feeling free to be ourselves is very beneficial to our overall wellbeing.


The next time that you have something to say, let it be known and see where it takes you. As a human being, you have the right to share with others what is on your mind and in your heart. We should not have to feel like we have to sensor everything we say unless, of course, it is something that could hurt another.


Send that text to a long-lost friend, have an open-hearted conversation with your significant other, and publish the blog post that you wrote that you didn’t think was worthy enough to be posted because what you have to say matters. Your words, thoughts, ideas, and feelings are all valid and important. The more that you start to align your actions with your thoughts and keep as close to your authentic self as possible, the more peace that you will attract in your life. Say what is on your mind and in your heart for the things left unsaid will never be known to anyone.

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